Talk:Dragon Quest II/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Adam Cuerden (talk · contribs) 17:34, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Well, this article has good referencing, decent comprehensiveness, and the like, but it has some major issues with writing.

There's some unclear writing (which I've marked, with comments in the "clarify" tags [1]). However, there's some bits that are repetitive:

“

A century of peace suddenly ends when minions of the evil wizard Hargon attack Moonbrooke Castle. One lone guard, a wounded survivor of the battle, makes his way towards the kingdom of Midenhall. There with his dying breath he informs the king of their dire circumstances concerning an evil wizard known as Hargon. Hargon has just attacked Moonbrooke castle. The king commands his son, the Prince of Midenhall and a descendant of Erdrick, known as Loto in the Japanese versions and later re-localizations, to defeat Hargon.

”

Also, I believe the remakes added at least some new content. The article should briefly detail this.

I love this series. I grew up on it. But we have to get this right. Adam Cuerden ^(talk) 17:34, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

What is this source: "Enix Corporation Unveiled Secrets of Dragon Warrior II (in English) Enix America Corporation." A webpage, a book, a chapter in a book? Adam Cuerden ^(talk) 23:47, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Also, this article really, really needs a top to bottom copyedit. There's lots of funny English ("bosses" for "boss's" being one I just fixed) - and, while I can possibly do the copyedit myself, I'm a little worried about stability afterwards. The content is great, mind you, it's grammar issues and that sort of thing. How do you want to handle this? Adam Cuerden ^(talk) 00:03, 18 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review! "Enix Corporation Unveiled Secrets of Dragon Warrior II" is name of the game mamual. But I don't know "(1990) Nintendo, Enix America Corporation Licensed Nintendo of America Inc. Dragon Warrior II Map (in English) ENI-D2-US." and "Enix Corporation Unveiled Secrets of Dragon Warrior II map (in English) Enix America Corporation." are what. I know the article have grammar issues but have no ability to dealwith that. Close this nomination, and re-nominate this article in future perhaps a good choice. --218.84.41.142 (talk) 06:15, 18 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Honestly, it kind of sounds like those are the things that came in the box with the game - I know a map was included, as well as a list of monsters and such.

Think you're right. I'll close this GA as failed, but join in as an editor while we get it up to scratch. Adam Cuerden ^(talk) 06:37, 18 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]