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Mary Owens (Abraham Lincoln fiancée)

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Mary Owens

Mary S. Owens (September 29, 1808 – July 4, 1877[1]) was an American woman who was future U.S. president Abraham Lincoln's fiancée for a short time, following the 1835 death of Ann Rutledge. To his surprise and mortification, she rejected his reluctant proposal.

Life

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She was the daughter of Nathaniel Owens, a prosperous planter who owned a plantation in Green County, Kentucky, United States.[2] In 1816, she attended Nazareth Academy, a Catholic school.[3] She later taught at her father's Brush Creek Academy.[3]

Her sister Elizabeth "Betsey" Abell was a friend of Lincoln's in New Salem, Illinois.[2] She introduced Lincoln to Mary Owens when Owens came to visit in 1833,[2] with an eye to playing matchmaker.[4] After Owens went home, Lincoln said he "would marry Miss Owens if she came a second time to Illinois."[2]

Whether he was in earnest or merely joking, Owens did return in the fall of 1836, putting Lincoln in an awkward situation.[2] Owens considered herself engaged to Lincoln, while Lincoln's opinion of her changed upon her arrival.[4] Her appearance had, in his eyes, deteriorated significantly in the intervening years; in an August 16, 1837, letter to Eliza Browning, he described Owens unflatteringly:

I knew she was over-size, but she now appeared a fair match for Falstaff; I knew she was called an 'old maid,' and I felt no doubt of the truth of at least half of the appelation [sic]; but now, when I beheld her, I could not for my life avoid thinking of my mother; and this, not from withered features, for her skin was too full of fat to permit its contracting in to wrinkles; but from her want of teeth, weather-beaten appearance in general, and from a kind of notion that ran in my head, that nothing could have commenced at the size of infancy, and reached her present bulk in less than thirtyfive or forty years; and, in short, I was not all pleased with her.[5]

In an attempt to get out of his predicament, he wrote letters to Owens in which he presented himself and Springfield (having moved there in April 1837) in as unfavorable a light as he could.[4]

Doing what was considered the honorable thing, he proposed to her.[6] To his surprise, she rejected him, again and again, as he tried several times.[6] Lincoln wrote of his reaction:

I finally was forced to give it up; at which I very unexpectedly found myself mortified almost beyond endurance. I was mortified, it seemed to me, in a hundred different ways. My vanity was deeply wounded by the reflection that I had been too stupid to discover her intentions, and at the same time never doubting that I understood them perfectly, and also that she, whom I had taught myself to believe nobody else would have, had actually rejected me with all my fancied greatness.[6]

William Herndon, Lincoln's former law partner and biographer, later tracked Owens down.[7] She informed him that "Mr. Lincoln was deficient in those little links which make up the great chain of woman's happiness".[1]

In early 1838, Owens returned to Kentucky.[1] She married Jesse Vineyard (1808–1862) in 1841.[1] The couple eventually settled in Weston, Missouri, and had five children. Their sons fought in the American Civil War on the Confederate side.[1] Jesse Vineyard and his brothers John and Bryce were members of the congregation of the Pleasant Ridge United Baptist Church in Weston, and the trio founded Pleasant Ridge College about a half a mile south of the church.[8] She died on July 4, 1877, in Weston, Missouri,[1] and is interred in the church's cemetery.[8][9] Her tombstone reads:

Abraham Lincoln's Other Mary
Here Lies Mary Owens Vineyard
1808–1877
Who Rejected Abraham Lincoln's Proposal of Marriage in 1837.[9]

Painting

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Reynolds Jones was commissioned by the Chicago & Illinois Midland Railway Company to create an oil painting;[10] it depicts Lincoln sitting on the ground observing Owens arriving in New Salem and walking past him.[11] A print was used for the company's 1951 calendar.[10] The painting was acquired by the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library in 2013.[11]

Depictions

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She was played by Catherine Burns in the miniseries Lincoln in the 1975 episode "Prairie Lawyer".[9] In the book Abraham Lincoln and Women in Film, authors Wetta and Novelli wrote that "the scenes in which she appears offer a perceptive interpretation of her relationship with Lincoln."[9]

The relationship is the subject of the novel Lincoln's Other Mary (1946), by Olive Carruthers. The Time magazine review stated, "she has wound fact into such a mess of taffy prose that there is no tasting the original flavor of the personalities."[12]

References

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  1. ^ a b c d e f "Owens, Mary S." Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. Retrieved July 9, 2024.
  2. ^ a b c d e "Mary Owens". Kentucky Historical Society. Retrieved July 9, 2024.
  3. ^ a b "Owens, Mary S." The Papers of Abraham Lincoln. Retrieved August 17, 2024.
  4. ^ a b c Trenholm, Sandra. "Abraham Lincoln, Mary Owens, and the accidental engagement". Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History. Retrieved July 9, 2024.
  5. ^ "Letter, Abraham Lincoln to Mary S. Owens reflecting the frustration of courtship, 16 August 1837". Library of Congress. Retrieved July 9, 2024.
  6. ^ a b c Coates, Ta-Nehisi (May 14, 2011). "Lincoln in Love". The Atlantic. Retrieved July 9, 2024.
  7. ^ Donald, David (March 5, 2013). Lincoln's Herndon. Read Books, Ltd. p. 213. ISBN 9781447487890. Retrieved July 9, 2024.
  8. ^ a b "National Register of Historic Places Registration Form for Pleasant Ridge United Baptist Church" (PDF). Retrieved July 11, 2024.
  9. ^ a b c d Rothera, Evan C. (June 18, 2024). "Wetta & Novelli: Abraham Lincoln and Women in Film (2024)". The Civil War Monitor. Retrieved July 10, 2024.
  10. ^ a b "Lincoln and Mary Owens". Lincoln Financial Foundation Collection. Retrieved July 10, 2024.
  11. ^ a b "Lincoln and Mary Owens". National Portrait Gallery. Retrieved July 10, 2024.
  12. ^ "Books: Lincoln's Missing Links". Time. July 8, 1946. Retrieved August 17, 2024.
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