Talk:1940 New England hurricane/GA1
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:24, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "However, the hurricane continued to intensify" - however doesn't seem appropriate here. It doesn't contradict anything previously
Done - Removed the 'however.' TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "the hurricane began a weakening trend as it proceeded northward" - the direction seems to be to the NE
Done - Changed to specified direction. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "would be similar to that of a devastating hurricane which struck the region two years prior" - which --> that
Done - Changed to suggested wording. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "Further north in New England" - when dealing with distance and measurement, use farther.
Done - Sí señor. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "Overall, the hurricane caused $4.05 million in damage" - this doesn't seem necessary, since $4 million of it was in NJ (and, considering the NJ total was likely rounded, doesn't seem appropriate)
Done - Left in the fatalities. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "can be traced back to a compact and slow-moving low-pressure area" - back is not needed
Done - Removed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- " its center of circulation became more compact" - you said earlier it was compact
Done - Changed to organized, since it did, too. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- " the hurricane attained Category 2 intensity" - earlier you said "the equivalent of a modern-day Category 1 hurricane" - why not here?
Done - Because. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "to have reached peak intensity on September 2 as a Category 2 hurricane with maximum sustained winds of 105 mph " - I think the C2 isn't needed here
Done - Removed the rating. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "After degenerating into a Category 1 hurricane,[2] the storm made landfall slightly northwest of Yarmouth, Nova Scotia at 2100 UTC later on September 2 as a tropical storm with winds of 70 mph (110 km/h)" - it's unclear, so I'd just remove that it degenerated into a C1, and instead say it struck NS as a TS.
Done - Removed the degeneration. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "Off of Pennsylvania" - eh? Pennsylvania is inland.
Done - I interpreted the source wrong, so I changed it to off the East coast. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- " interacted with a cold front which had become" - which --> that.
Done - which that. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "caused $50,000 in damages and caused one death" - due to parallelism, remove the second "caused"
Done - Removed. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- " Winds of 60 mph (95 km/h) were recorded by a weather station in Nantucket; this would be a record for the station." - how is that a record?
Done - Lol. It wasn't. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- "Gas service was also limited in Woodbury, as well as in Pedricktown and Penns Grove. " - why not say "Gas service was also limited in Woodbury, Pedricktown, and Penns Grove."
Done - I have no idea why I did that, except make the prose bigger :P TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 03:04, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
All in all, pretty good! :) --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:24, 23 May 2013 (UTC)