Talk:2001 Sacramento shootings

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Lead section has extra information

I have tagged this article as needing clean-up because the lead section has extra information about the perpetrator's full name. See MOS:LEAD for purpose of the lead. It provides an accessible overview. Information that is in the lead should be in the body of the article too. See WP:LEADFOLLOWSBODY. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 21:51, 14 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Chronological order

The way this article is currently written obscures the chronological order of these crimes. This obscures the motive(s) for the shootings. Because this article is effectively a biography of the perpetrator's actions, it should be written in chronological order from his birth to his death, for as much of his life as is reported. This means the article body should start with the name the perpetrator was born with, then move on to his employment as a security guard and his relationship with his girlfriend, before covering their break-up, vandalism of her car, his subsequent loss of job as a result and then the shootings, before ending with his death. Remember, Wikipedia is not a news website so its articles should not be written news style. - Cameron Dewe (talk) 22:14, 14 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]