Talk:Action of 30 May 1798/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Auntieruth55 (talk) 15:06, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

comments

The strategy was particularly effective in the English Channel, where the proximity of British bases and the importance in limiting the movements of the French invasion forces stationed around Boulogne focused British attention on the Normandy coast, where a large force of invasion barges had been constructed under the guidance of a Captain Muskein This is awkward. ...where the proximity....where a large force... Could you rewrite this sentence? Also, a simple map might help here.

Rephrased and broken into two sentances. I have looked for a map, and even tried to make one myself, but this may not be possible at this time.--Jackyd101 (talk) 21:42, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

To improve the Royal Navy's ability to observe French movements on the Normandy coast, the uninhabited Îles Saint-Marcouf were seized and garrisoned by a force under Captain Sir Sidney Smith in 1795, who placed Lieutenant Charles Price in command. To improve the Royal Navy's ability to observe French movements on the Normandy coast, a force under the command of Captain Sir Sidney Smith seized and garrisoned the islands in 1795. Before he left, he placed Lt. Charles Price in command of the garrison...

Rephrased based on your suggestions.--Jackyd101 (talk) 21:42, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Section on Battle. You call it a battle here, but in the title it is an "action"....Initially I was confused because I thought you were referring to the Battle of Saint Marcouf (which you discussed in the background section).

Changed the title to make it clearer.--Jackyd101 (talk) 21:42, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Laforey was able to concentrate his broadside against Vésuve rapidly forcing the corvette to turn inshore, pursued by Vesuvius and Trial. I really don't know who was doing what--confusion over the two names.

Not surprising given that the British commander had a French name and two of the ships engaged were named after the volcano Vesuvius. Clarified.--Jackyd101 (talk) 21:42, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

set off in pursuit=pursued?

Now that the previous sentance uses pursued, I'm going to leave this as it is for the moment.--Jackyd101 (talk) 21:42, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I made a couple of minor tweaks and broke a large paragraph in the second to last section. Would you look at what I've done, and possibly clarify your prose a bit more? Otherwise, nice article, and I see no problem with GA. Auntieruth55 (talk) 15:38, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review and copyedit. I think I have dealt with the issues you have raised, let me know what you think.--Jackyd101 (talk) 21:42, 31 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail: