Talk:Adventures in Modern Recording
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Fair use rationale for Image:The Buggles-Adventures.jpg
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Found a source
[edit]The book is discussed in the book The Trouser Press guide to new wave records. See the first result in this search. I was seeing if somebody could use it in this article. Thanks. EditorE (talk) 03:06, 10 July 2013 (UTC)
External links modified
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GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Adventures in Modern Recording/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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I will start this review later today! --K. Peake 08:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Refs are generally discouraged in the infobox for genres; you should write that info out in the body instead plus [2] and [3] don't call the album progressive pop (don't know about [4] since I can't access) and [3] sources electropop
- Is Internet Archive giving you a hard time again? *Sigh* Man, it's been acting up on me too. Here's the original link of [4], it's still up: [1] HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:10, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- We actually both misinterpreted [3]. It's only describes a single track as having sections of electropop, and brings up that it has an aspect of electro-prog, not that it's of the genre. Since I couldn't find an article about "electro-prog," I went with electronic. I have removed it given the other genres of progressive are described in the other reviews. Genre names are confusing and odd, I tell ya HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:16, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- I had an issue with accessing the source because of it being a book, so I could not see what was inside. --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- In the concept and sound section, I wrote that it was an progressive electronic album. [4] describes it as progressive synthpop, [5] describes it as "electro-prog," and [6] describes it as consisting of "electronic and progressive rock experimentations." I found these descriptors nearly synonymous and combined them. I mean, "electro-prog" pretty much means electronic progressive, because even the most experience music writers use electro to mean electronic. HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:27, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- List the genre as progressive electronic in the infobox, then. --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe synthpop to Synth-pop
- Done, but WP:NOPIPE recommends to not use piped links to avoid redirects. HumanxAnthro (talk) 15:09, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- "Adventures in Modern Recording ended up" → "the album ended up"
- "it was originally named" → "the track was originally named" but the original title is not sourced in the body
- Wikilink "Into the Lens"
- Fixed. Plus removing wikilink for I Am a Camera since it redirects to the same article about both versions.
- See the MOS:LINK2SECT guideline; can't this be a separate wikilink because it is to the section? --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- Unfortunately, there isn't a section for the version named "I Am A Camera", just general sections about the development and release of both versions. HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:45, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink progressive electronic per MOS:LINK2SECT but I am confused about the genre; why is only this listed when the infobox sources other genres?
- "and is described by" → "and was described by"
- "faced mixed reviews and commercially performed poorly" → "received mixed reviews from music critics and performed poorly commercially" with the pipe
- UK Album Charts → UK Albums Chart
- Done. Man, can one letter make a difference. XD HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:29, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- The singles being minor hits should not be mentioned in this sentence; move to one about them instead
- "it reached number 161 on the United States" → "the album reached number 161 on the US"
- Similarly to the other singles point, move the info about "Lenny"
- Add a sentence after the retrospective reviews one mentioning the accompanying singles that were released, with relevant info
- I addressed comments about the singles sentences. The reason I discussed the singles' performances in the sentence about the contemporaneous reviews because I viewed the singles commercial as part of the album's reception. HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:53, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- Neat, but pipe singles to Single (music) --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- "for their 2011 studio album Fly from Here." → "for their twentieth studio album, Fly from Here (2011)." and keep this as the closing sentence of the para
Background
[edit]- The img text is misleading, as Downes only has keyboard credits on one song, so reword accordingly to avoid confusion
- ""Into the Lens;" although" → ""Into the Lens"; although" with the wikilink, per my earlier comment
- "the Buggles recording more." → "the Buggles' recording more."
- While this was still grammatically correct without the apostrophe, done away HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- Merge the first para with the one below per the short length
- "got the opportunity" → "had the opportunity"
- "John Wetton, and" → "John Wetton and" per British English
- From an American dude, I can say done HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:30, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- Easy mistake to make writing in your native form of English for an article, but make sure to always follow that of the performer (I have had to adapt myself as a Brit editing American musician's articles).
- "and on the day Adventures was to begin recording," → "On the day that recording of Adventures in Modern Recording was set to begin," to avoid a run-on sentence
- Change to Adventures in Modern Recording though, as abbreviations are not supposed to be given unless it's a surname or acronym. --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "Downes' departure gave" → "his departure gave"
- "viewpoint, Horn recalled:" → "viewpoint, with him recalling:"
- Since that would actually be grammatically incorrect, I've decided to make it a separate sentence. HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:41, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- [2] should be solely at the end of the para due to backing up all of the parts after [3]
- Actually, [2] doesn't, and doing what you're suggesting here would cause a "not-in-citation-given" scenario. Although you may not be able to read it now since Google Books now changes what pages get previewed, ref 2 only mentions the start of recording demos and Downes' transition into Asia. Ref 3 (the trevorhorn.com feature) is the one that discusses the Buggles' fallout with Island Records, how Horn felt about it, and what new label he signed onto to get the second album produced and released.
- Well this has now changed, due to you adding different refs. --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "promote, and release" → "promote and release"
- "was mostly a Trevor Horn" → "was mostly a Horn"
- The writing, drum programming and keyboards parts are not mentioned by the source so remove or add appropriate ref(s)
- I've added liner notes in the section to fix the issues. I thought all of those credits were mentioned in the Trevorhorn.com article, but apparently I haven't remembered everything about it. HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:41, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
- I'm not seeing the word. Do you mean engineers? HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:43, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- No, this is not visible because you removed the info about their debut album. --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "for The Buggles first album" → "for the Buggles' debut studio album" but this previous involvement is not sourced
- I just removed it to make the sentence less confusing HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:43, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- "Langan, Horn, and" → "Langan, Horn and"
- The keyboardist credit, percussion and sound effects being for those specific tracks is unsourced, plus don't think the latter of the three should be surrounded by speech marks
- I've cited the liner notes that do bring up these credits. The Ian Peel source just indicates what notable contributors were on the album, but weren't too specific what those contributions were. HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:44, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
Concept and sound
[edit]Tomorrow (I will go through this faster then; I am experiencing a stressed out day right now) --K. Peake 21:02, 18 March 2021 (UTC)Take all the time you need to rest. :) HumanxAnthro (talk) 22:19, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- "this part involves the track quickly going from" → "the track quickly goes from" on the audio sample text, plus wikilink jazz
- Wikilink progressive electronic per MOS:LINK2SECT
- Pipe dance to Dance music
- Numerous MOS:QUOTE issues within this section; remember, this applies to commas too
- Apart from the commas, I'm not seeing them. Most of the sentences only use partial quotes within mostly paraphrased sentences, and if there is a full quote, it's because it's way too oddball to be paraphrased. The bot that provided copyvio score you presented at the bottom is way too sensitive. Also, the last two of the three paragraphs don't even have any quotes HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:18, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink jazz
- Introduce Chris Roberts as being of BBC Music
- I don't know how this adds to the section, but done HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:27, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- ""Vermillion Sands" "which" → ""Vermillion Sands", "which"
- I've changed the structure, but trust me when I say commas are being place properly HumanxAnthro (talk) 10:56, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- "analyzed the track being" → "analyzed the track as being"
- I've changed the structure, so this part is no longer here. HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:09, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe electro-pop to Electropop
- "As Joe Stannard of The Quietus described the title track, it" → "Joe Stannard of The Quietus described the title track as what"
- I've paraphrased the quote it HumanxAnthro (talk) 18:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Img looks good, apart from Trevor Horn's full name being used instead of surname
- "During the production of" → "During the recording of" to avoid repetitive wording
- Actually, that would make the sentence more rep- or, you know what, I'll just change Adventures in Modern Recording to "the album" to make it less repetitive. HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:18, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- HumanxAnthro I would like to ask though, what solo album are you referring to soon after this point? --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Adventures in Modern Recording. I have clarified this. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:57, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe pop to Pop music
- "he produced his solo album" → "he produced the album"
- Pipe technopop to Synth-pop
- Remove wikilink on Vermillion Sands due to it being the wrong article, plus shouldn't Hotel be capitalised per the source?
- I've decided to remove this because, frankly, Peel's source did not do a good job clarifying how the band related to the Vermillion Sands story. HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:08, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- "for Adventures, but" → "for Adventures in Modern Recording, but"
- Pipe house to House music
- This is my fault for not clarifying, but I wasn't giving the fictional band a genre. I used "house band" in the sense that they were the players of the hotel. Plus, I don't think house was an established genre in 1981. I'll rewrite this. HumanxAnthro (talk) 16:30, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "It was one of the first" → "The album was one of the first"
- "and also marks one" → "and also marked one"
- Pipe sampling to Sampling (music)
- Nope. That discusses a different technique that the album doesn't use. Adventures in Modern Recording used the Fairlight CMI, which is a Sampler (musical instrument). Two different things. Sampling (music) would use a technique a lot of hip hop uses, which is using loops of already-recorded songs. Adventures in Modern Recording doesn't have any of those moments. HumanxAnthro (talk) 16:30, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- My bad, don't need to suggest irrelevant links. --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Add the release year of the albums; do not do all in brackets though, as that would be too cluttered
- I've removed the album names since it's common knowledge those sampler instruments are used in many of Horn's other works besides those three albums.
Release and promotion
[edit]Albums and singles
[edit]- This should be the entirety of the section rather than a sub-section, as it is large enough and the rest can be moved
- Pipe single to Single (music)
- Pipe B-side to A-side and B-side
- "in January 1982, and" → "in January 1982 and"
- [3] should be solely at the end of the para due to being the only source invoked here
- "releasing "Lenny" and" → "releasing both "Lenny" and" to be specific
- Pipe flexidisc to Flexi disc
- "and the title track" → "while the title track"
- "and in the" → "while later released in the"
- CBS Records is piped to CBS Records International here, so why have you done differently in the infobox?
- Good catch. Done. I actually originally had that pipe to Columbia. I don't know how that changed into another pipe link. HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "in the 1990s," → "during the 1990s;"
- [17] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [18] due to not coming after any piece of grammar
- Commas should not be inside speech marks for song titles, plus remove the comma for "Blue Nylon"
- Mention the interviews on the re-release per the source
- The source's claim is misleading. There's only fully-written feature that's an interview with Horn. HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:33, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "single cover arts, and" → "single cover arts and"
- ""Videotheque" which would later" → ""Videotheque", which would later"
- "written for Yes that was performed" → "that was written for Yes and performed"
- "their album Fly From Here (2011)." → "their twentieth studio album Fly from Here (2011)."
Commercial reception
[edit]- Make this its own section titled commercial performance, moving to being the one directly before track listing
- "single there," and, in his home country," → "single there" and, in his home country of the United Kingdom,"
- "it was unable to" → "It was unable to" per the new sentence, but where do any of the sources mention this? If none do, then remove it because an album not charting only has notability if specifically written about.
- The album not being a success in the UK is discussed (albeit a little bit) in The Face citation plus the Ian Peel source. I presume the album not charting would be an example of this and made notable by those two citations. You also know details don't have to be "notable" per se, it's the main topic of the article that has to been notable to be written about. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:44, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "and singles of the title track and" → "while the title track and"
- "the album fared better in" → "Adventures in Modern Recording fared better in"
- The France and Netherlands parts for the album's performance are not sourced, plus remove comma after the Netherlands and place any ref solely at the end of the sentence before [26]
- You might've missed it during spotchecking, but the album being a success in France is from the Ian Peel source, although it may not have come up in your word searching if you put in "France" since Trevor Horn used "French people" to label the country: "For the UK at least, he was right and the singles met a muted reaction. But in Europe it was a different story. “Certainly French people loved the album,”" Also added citation for Netherlands performance. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- HumanxAnthro You are spot on; I did check that sources but didn't notice the French part and you still need to remove the comma after the Netherlands per British English. --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- "and the United States where it" → "and the US, where it" per MOS:US
- "certified gold in Canada for sales of 5,000 units,[27] and" → "certified gold in Canada by Music Canada (MC) for sales of 5,000 units and" for correct context, plus move [27] to being solely after the comma before [28]
- Done. Also, I removed the comma since I made a few changes to the section. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:40, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "reaching number-nine" → "reaching number nine"
- Pipe lip-synching to Lip sync
Reviews
[edit]- Retitle to Critical reception and move to being its own section directly before commercial performance
- Remove the img since you should not have one where it is side by side with the ratings box
- "Reviews upon release" → "Reviews of Adventures in Modern Recording upon release"
- Identify the Smash Hits reviewer by name
- Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section; remember, this does not apply to full sentences quoted though
- The only QUOTE issue I see is with commas. I have made changes, but I don't see what other issues there were with MOS:QUOTE.
- Just to let you know, that doesn't mean I haven't done more paraphrasing in the sections. HumanxAnthro (talk) 18:29, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- The only QUOTE issue I see is with commas. I have made changes, but I don't see what other issues there were with MOS:QUOTE.
- HumanxAnthro This is referring to when you have the punctuation inside the speech marks when not quoting full sentences, such as "Yes-style pomposity." for starters. Also, you have accidentally placed punctuation inside the title "Beatnik" at other points in this article, just to note. --K. Peake 08:14, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Identify The Morning Call reviewer by name
- The source didn't make the author's name clear. HumanxAnthro (talk) 14:08, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- "a Record Mirror review of" → "with a Record Mirror review by Sunie Fletcher of"
- "Smash Hits' review for "On TV,"" → "Martin Fry of Smash Hits' review for "On TV","
- "sounded far better than" → "sound far better than"
- Pipe Amazon.com to Amazon (company)
Track listing
[edit]- Good
Personnel
[edit]- You should list artists separately, even if their credits are the same
- I assume you mean The Buggles versus other personnel. Done HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:53, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
Charts and certifications
[edit]- Retitle to Charts since the album received no certification(s)
Album
[edit]- This should not be a sub-section
- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
Singles
[edit]- Remove this because a table is not warranted for it in the album article, plus you have written out commercial info for these in prose
- Since there were such few coverage about much of the singles and they only garnered small position for one-to-two charts each, I merged them in this article in the same way Homogenic incorporated singles positions. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:42, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- I've removed the table though. HumanxAnthro (talk) 20:47, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks dangerously high at 62.3% due to ref 3; cut down the level of quoting to fix this and use paraphrasing to avoid heavy removal
- The score is not-at-all accurate the more you look at it. Only one long quote is used on this article and attributed; all the other supposed copyvios this bot suggests are only names of people and albums that both sources mention, not specific phrases that are copied without attribution from ref 3. Not a good tool to use, IMO. HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:18, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Make sure all of these that can be are archived by using the tool
- Unfortunately, some sources aren't possible to do this. The print sources obviously don't have archive links since they're, ya know, print sources; trying to archive Lulu.com results in error messages; and The Quietus has disallowed the Internet Archive to archive its site.. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:54, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe Buggles to The Buggles on ref 1
- Wikilink Lulu.com on ref 2
- Wikilink Trevor Horn on ref 3
- The source is a site named Trevor Horn, not the person.
- Cite Steel Bananas as publisher instead for ref 5
- Cite BBC Music as publisher instead for ref 9
- Wikilink AllMusic on ref 14
- Cite Music Canada as publisher instead for ref 27
- Fixed. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:50, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Cite Dutchcharts.nl as publisher instead for ref 28
- Fixed. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:50, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 29 and change Youtube to YouTube
- Fixed. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:50, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Allmusic → AllMusic on ref 30, with no wikilink
- Fixed. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:50, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- Cite Amazon as publisher instead for ref 39 and pipe to Amazon (company)
- Fixed. HumanxAnthro (talk) 13:59, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
Final comments and verdict
[edit]On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but it was nice to see your response so far while the review was ongoing! --K. Peake 10:31, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- I think I've addressed and responded to all of the comments. If I missed any, please understand there was a lot to take in hehehehe. HumanxAnthro (talk) 17:44, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- HumanxAnthro That is understandable, but you still need to pipe singles to Single (music), change Adventures to the full album title, change The Morning Call part to "a more positive reviewer for" in the case we don't know the name and fix MOS:QUOTE issues with Stannard's review. --K. Peake 08:42, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- All have been fixed HumanxAnthro (talk) 11:42, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- HumanxAnthro ✓ Pass now, there was only one issue with the wording in the lead but I copyedited that in for you. Congratulations on another GA, but I extend my praise to how thorough you were in your response to my comments! --K. Peake 12:09, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- Hey, as an album that didn't get much attention, this is actually the most complete article there could be on the topic. Thank you so much! HumanxAnthro (talk) 12:21, 21 March 2021 (UTC)