Talk:Alicia Keys/GA1

GA Review

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Hi, I am reviewing this article for GA. This is an impressive article. I did some copy editing which you are free to change. Mostly I reworded slightly some ambiguous or repetitious wording for clarity and fixed punctuation. I have the following comments. —Mattisse (Talk) 22:15, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Keys won "Best R&B Video" for "If I Ain't Got You" at the 2004 MTV Video Music Awards and led Lenny Kravitz and Stevie Wonder in their version of Wonder's "Higher Ground" - not clear what this means
Reworded. DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

After returning from a three-week trip after almost suffering from a breakdown, she "hated" everything she wrote for the album and started again.[9] Starting in late 2006, Keys worked on her third studio album, As I Am, released in November 2007. In an interview with MTV in early 2007, she said about the album: "It's coming together incredibly. I am in love with this album. It's very fresh and new."[37] Rolling Stone magazine reported in December 2005 that Keys and her long-term songwriting partner, Kerry "Krucial" Brothers, would start working seriously on the album in the later half of 2006.[38] - paragraph needs to be in chronological order
Chronologically ordered. DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

She co-stars alongside Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney. - is this still ongoing so still in the present tense?
Changed to co-starred. DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Keys said, adding that she and Halle Berry hoped to start shooting in early 2008. - Clarify, as this is 2009
There have been no updates on the progress of the film. DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The studio was designed by renowned studio architect John Storyk of WSDG, designer of Jimi Hendrix' Electric Lady Studios. Keys and Brothers are the co-founders of KrucialKeys Enterprises - this has an external link that needs to be in a footnote and not in body of article.
I just removed the link instead. DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Keys has also donated to Frum tha Ground Up, - another external link in this sentence
Done. DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

She joined Joss Stone and Jay-Z on the effort, who was approached by the presidential nominee according to The Times to record a track that will serve as a theme song for his campaign. - needs better wording
Reworded. DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In general, there are some sections that talk about future plans but not= time frame is given to the reader to judge whether these events have already happened or not by early 2009.
Are there any I've missed? DiverseMentality 22:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is a wonderful article. In this article using so many quotations makes sense because the wording is unique and contributes to the flavor of the article.

—Mattisse (Talk) 22:15, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looking at the references, some of them seem sub-optimal.

http://music.virgin.com/2008/09/24/alicia-keys-as-i-am-tour-review/ - this appears to be a record company blog where readers can "vote" for the contributor.
I plan to expand the section a bit more, in hopes to no longer need that reference. DiverseMentality 20:33, 4 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
http://www.ftgu.org/ - this one screwed with my browser window so I don't know what it is

—Mattisse (Talk) 23:37, 3 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The official site of Frum tha Ground Up, but since it doesn't cite anything, I just removed it. DiverseMentality 20:33, 4 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"She joined Joss Stone and Jay-Z on the effort, which will serve as a theme song for Obama's campaign": presumably only tense needs to be changed.--Grahame (talk) 01:57, 4 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am wondering about the questionable references. It would be better if they were removed and others substituted. —Mattisse (Talk) 02:06, 4 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. DiverseMentality 20:33, 4 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): Well written b (MoS): Follows MoS
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): Well referenced b (citations to reliable sources): Sources are reliable c (OR): No OR
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): Comprehensive and set the contect b (focused): Remains focused on subject
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: NPOV
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

This is an excellent article. Congradulatiosn! —Mattisse (Talk) 20:50, 4 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oh darn, I was working on the article after it passed!

Nonetheless, thank you for the review. DiverseMentality 22:07, 4 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]