Talk:Andy Crosby/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 00:20, 15 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 05:52, 13 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes, and there are three refs whose spot checks came back with some issues that are eminently fixable or require an archive URL. Focus on priority items first. Ping me when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 06:20, 13 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

Copy changes

Lead

He spent two-and-a-half seasons with Rovers, before moving on to Darlington in December 1993 following a brief loan spell with Halifax Town. Remove comma or move it to after "1993"
He helped Brighton to win the Third Division title in the 2000–01 season, before joining Oxford United on a free transfer in December 2001. Remove comma (WP:CINS)

Early life

He grew up supporting Rotherham United, but was rejected by the club as a player at the age of eleven. Remove comma (CinS)

Playing career

No need to hyphenate "16th place", "fifth place", etc. when they are not adjectives.
Crosby signed with Alan Murray's Darlington in December 1993, which went on Reword to move the appositive where it needs to be: Crosby signed in December 1993 with Alan Murray's Darlington, which went on
However Darlington returned to the lower half of the Comma after "However"
Priority item The sentence However Darlington returned to the lower half of the division under new manager David Hodgson, finishing 18th in 1996–97 and 19th in 1997–98, with Crosby bringing his final tally at Darlington to 211 league and cup appearances. is uncited.
He joined Chester City in July 1998, where he partnered Matt Woods in central defence. Reword to He joined Chester City in July 1998, partnering with Matt Woods in central defence. July 1998 isn't a place.
Hyphenate "first team" as an adjective
He was offered a new contract by incoming manager Graham Rix on greatly reduced terms, but decided to leave the Kassam Stadium to move closer to his family in the north of England. Remove comma (CinS)
Observation: Your writing style invariably, at least once, uses the team stadium as metonymy for the team. This might be tougher on readers not familiar with all these clubs. (Like your American reviewer.) I'm sure this is common in the sporting press there, and it's useful in longer sections, but I wonder how necessary it is.
Crosby's contribution proved crucial however as Pearce was dropped Put commas around "however" or remove it entirely
Scunthorpe qualified for the play-offs and Crosby converted his penalty in a shoot-out victory over Milton Keynes Dons in the semi-finals. Add comma after "play-offs"

Coaching career

Adkins was given the job on a permanent basis the following month and it was reported by the BBC Add comma after "month"
Crosby said the pair had tried to continue the work done by popular former manager Brian McDermott, however Reading were relegated Convert the existing comma to a semicolon and add a comma after "however". These are two sentences joined, so they need a semicolon or ", and". The latter is out of the question for this one.
Reading aimed for an immediate promotion but narrowly missed out on the Championship play-offs in 2013–14 and Adkins and Crosby were sacked in December 2014. Add comma after 2013–14 (CinS)
Adkins' assistant should be Adkins's per MOS:'S
He began working as Ian Baraclough's assistant in the Northern Ireland U21 coaching set-up, before being appointed as caretaker manager after Baraclough was promoted to the senior team management position in August 2020 No need for that comma
Northern Ireland finished fifth in the group and it was reported in January 2021 that Crosby was expected to be given the manager's job on a permanent basis Did this happen, and there's a comma needed after "group"
He won one and lost three of the final four games of the 2022–23 season, before stating that he believed himself ready to take the job on a permanent basis. Remove comma
However, a poor run of form followed and his substitutions and reliance on sports science were criticised Comma needed after "followed"

Honours

Priority item The BHA Third Division honour and the second-place promotion for Scunthorpe United in League Two are uncited in this section. Presumably other citations exist to provide this?

Sourcing and spot checks

Encouragement: Consider names of cites instead of URLs where available, like Yorkshire Evening Post over "yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk".

15: The Argus column from 2000 indicates A Football League inquiry ordered Crosby's former club to pay him £3,800 in outstanding bonuses and wages. Y
27: Northern Echo article doesn't support much. I suppose it would indicate he was in the summer transfer window or that he was signed "by early June", but it doesn't say the transaction took place in June. The club profile [26] says "summer of 2004". Thoughts?
42: Musselwhite quote: I’d pick ANDY CROSBY from my second time – he joined at the same time as me and was installed as captain, so he was a natural leader in the team. Y
50: Adkins hired at Reading; Adkins, who will have former Saints assistant Andy Crosby alongside him in the dugout... Y
66: U21 result for the loss to Finland (2–3). Y
72: Cannot verify: link is dead.
74: Bereavement leave for Clarke: ref 75 mentions Crosby as acting boss. Y
77: However, the team was led out by assistant Andy Crosby, recognition for the assistant manager who proved to be such a capable deputy in guiding the team while the manager was on compassionate leave. Does not mention that Clarke allowed this. Consider rewording.
- The team bio does this — fixed.
83: League One Manager of the Month nomination. Y

Earwig flags a content mill (factsnippet.com), which clearly copied from us, and the pull quote from Adkins. No other issues present on that front.

Images

Two CC-licensed images, both from his Port Vale stint. Encouragement: Add alt text.

I believe I've addressed all the issues. Thank you for the grammar check. I am trying to use less commas. Echetus Xe 11:29, 13 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.