Talk:Bronx County Bird Club

Bronx County Bird Club has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: August 19, 2023. (Reviewed version).

A fact from Bronx County Bird Club appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 24 June 2022 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that a bunch of "smart-assed teenagers" drove around the Bronx looking for birds in garbage dumps?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2022/June. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Bronx County Bird Club.

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Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 18:10, 20 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

(

Comment or view
Article history

)

... that a bunch of "smart-assed teenagers" drove around the Bronx looking for birds in garbage dumps? Source: "The Chicago Reader described them more colorfully, as "smart-assed teenagers", noting that they "astounded their stuffy elders with the sightings they reported and their ability to defend the accuracy of those sightings".[2] The members purchased a used Buick, which they used to travel to birding locations. Sewer outfalls and garbage dumps where popular destinations."
ALT1 (I know this is off the wall, but I couldn't resist): ... Bronx Boys Buy Buick, Browse Book, Bag Birds?
ALT2: ... Bookish Bronx Boys Buy Buick, Bag Birds?
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Surgery in ancient Rome

Created by RoySmith (talk). Self-nominated at 01:56, 13 June 2022 (UTC).[reply]

I want to review this however before a formal review I want to make sure I can understand what is going on. Are these edits to ALT1 and ALT2 below correct? (All I have done is change all except two of the B's to small letters.)

ALT1.1 ... Bronx Boys buy Buick, browse book, bag birds?
ALT2.1: ... Bookish Bronx Boys buy Buick, bag birds?

The usual starter word "that" is also missing, is this intentional? I don't think the removal of "that" has ever been done although it has been considered as seen over at DYK supplementary guidelines E1? FacetsOfNonStickPans (talk) 09:43, 14 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

FacetsOfNonStickPans I didn't intend those to be seriously considered; I was just having fun with some wordplay after a long day. My apologies for the confusion I caused. I've struck both of those in favor of my original hook, which I'm rather proud of :-) -- RoySmith (talk) 13:12, 14 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Ah ok, let me also strike off the two I added.

New enough, long enough. Well referenced; Earwigs is alright and spot checked for close paraphrasing. The hook is interesting, and cited inline. QPQ done. ALT0 is good to go. FacetsOfNonStickPans (talk) 05:06, 16 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:37, 19 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

This review is transcluded from Talk:Bronx County Bird Club/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 15:58, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

One sentence paragraphs should be avoided. Just merge the lead into one paragraph, it is short enough.
...with the highest species total for three consecutive years. I have read this sentence a few times and still don't know what it means. Was their group the one that recorded the highest number of species of all other groups? Could you clarify?
Ornithologist should be linked in the lead

Formation

You mention the people who became famous ornithologists in the lead, but don't mention in the body of the article that this happened (you mention all them, but never say they went on to become famous ornithologists

Locations

One sentence paragraphs should be avoided. Just merge the last sentence into the previous paragraph, it is short enough.
A last BCBC meeting was... -> The last BCBC meeting was...

Christmas census

One sentence paragraphs should be avoided. Just merge the last sentence into the previous paragraph, it is short enough.
They observed 35 species in Pelham Bay, Van Cortlandt, and Bronx parks. In the 1923 census, they found 26 species. 1925 yielded 67. In 1926 it was 83, with 87 in 1927 and 93 in 1929. In 1934, the club spotted 97 species, reported to be one more than they had the previous year. By the group's twelfth census in 1935, 107 species were seen. -> The BCBC recorded more species each subsequent census: 26 species in 1923, 67 in 1925, 83 in 1926, 87 in 1927, and 93 in 1929. In 1934, the club spotted 97 species, reported to be one more than they had the previous year. By the group's twelfth census in 1935, 107 species were seen.

Additional reading

The Kastner source should have the date as 1979-04-15 (consistency)
Both sources need |url-access=subscription

References

Refs #4, #14 and #18 should have their date formats match the format used for the rest of the article.
Ref #1 has a spelling error (adn instead of and)
Spot check:
- Ref #1 looks good
- Ref #4 looks good
- Ref #8 looks good
- Ref #13 is basically a quote without quotations. Recommend adding quotes to it, i.e. "four snowy owls feeding on rats", since it is word for word from the source (also, rat doesn't need to be linked, WP:OVERLINK)
- Ref #15 looks good

Images

NA

Nice work RoySmith, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:18, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I think I've addressed all of these. RoySmith (talk) 18:23, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Gonzo fan2007 forgot to ping. RoySmith (talk) 18:49, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

PS, one thing I'm unhappy with myself is how to refer to things that members would do in the future, i.e. "would go on to", "would later", "would serve", etc. I don't remember what that tense is called. I think what I've got is grammatically correct, but the repetition sounds awkward. I'd appreciate any suggestions. RoySmith (talk) 18:55, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I put everything in past tense. See here. Feel free to revert if you don't like it. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:07, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Additional comments

Why the ellipsis in Ref #6?
A last BCBC meeting was held in early 1978 at Fort Myers, Florida. still sounds weird to me. Was it the last? Maybe The last recorded BCBC meeting...?
- RoySmith, the source says The last meeting of the BCBC adjourned after three days. Can you make the change? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:24, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- I still don't think this sentence needs to be its own paragraph? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:07, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The ellipsis was in the <title> tag in the original so the citation tool just grabbed it. I've removed that. As for the one-sentence paragraph, I broke it up into two sentences. I guess it could be combined with previous paragraph, but I think that would be slavishly following the MOS to the detriment of the end result. Each paragraph is a topic. These two paragraphs have two different topics. I think it's better to leave it as is. RoySmith (talk) 23:20, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Done. RoySmith (talk) 23:48, 18 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Looks good, passing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:35, 19 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.