Talk:Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Panini! (talk · contribs) 11:48, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

It's annoying how long some people have to wait while others don't. A month later, I'll pick this up. Panini^🥪 11:48, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

I watched the Scott the Woz video on the game, so consider me a professional:

Gameplay

• Most of this section is unsourced. I bet the reviews (which there's a lot of), talk about most of the controls and moves, so you can cite those.
  •  Done

• I also see a lot of instances where there are two small sentences that can be easily combined. Some of which include:

"In some levels Chibi Robo can take control of certain vehicles get across large surfaces of land. These vehicles include balloons, a skateboard, a submarine, and a wake board. -> ""Some levels use vehicles to cross large surfaces of land, such as balloons or a submarine."

• •  Done

"To help get to the goal, Chibi Robo possesses a power cord. This cord has two different functions." -> "To help reach the goal, Chibi Robo possesses a power cord, of which has two functions."

• •  Done

• "This cord has two different functions." A semicolon would work better here.
• "Chibi Robo can use the cord like a whip and quickly swing it in front of him, which can be used to grab items, open doors or attack enemies." "can be used" is duplicated; maybe replace one of the instances with "being able to"
  •  Done
• "In the level, the player can..." What level? All of them?
  •  Done
• "Additional socket can be found that grant Chibi Robo the elemental powers of fire and ice." I don't think this is worded well. They're simply power ups like in Mario, they don't make him a god or anything. Also, could you describe what they do?
  •  Done

• There needs to be an s after socket

• •  Done
• "During the level, Chibi Robo's battery life depletes, which causes a game over if it reaches 0. The player must recharge with plug sockets scattered around the levels." Oddly placed, maybe move this to the end of the paragraph.
  •  Done
• "...which can be converted into energy at the 'Chibi House'." I don't understand what this means. What is its purpose and use?
• I think the second and third paragraphs should be switched, for organization reasons.
  •  Done
• Although most of the stuff is optional, such as the collectibles, "...the player can spin a roulette wheel in order to see which stage one can go to next..." is a bad instance of "can". The wheel is required to be spun.
  •  Done
• You need the amiibo to unlocked the Asia world, right? It's mentioned above as if its part of the game off the bat. I'm not certain that's the case, though.
  •  Done

Plot

• "...with many believing that aliens are behind the disappearance." This makes it sound like the aliens are suspects, and it could be anyone. Doesn't the video show the aliens taking the resources? I could be wrong, though.
• "...such as Oceania and Europe..." The list of locations is already listed above, so this part is not needed.
  •  Done
• "When traversing the continents, Chibi Robo comes across a wide array of different toys to befriend and offer gifts to them in the form of snacks." The plot should be like a synopsis; since this is a side quest and doesn't contribute to the core plot, this can be left out.
  •  Done

Development

• "Being the fifth game in the series, Zip Lash was developed by Skip Ltd., with help from Vanpool, Inc." Citation?
  •  Done
• According to a quick google search, Vanpool, Inc. does not need a period. Just have one here.
  •  Done
• "Kensuke Tanabe the series producer,..." Put a comma after Tanabe, too.
  •  Done
• "this may be the last game..." Change "this" to "it".
  •  Done

Amiibo

• Could you link lenticular in some way? Maybe with Lenticular printing, if that's what the poster uses?

• And, citatiiiiion?

• "The game is compatible with 57 more Amiibo toys." The paragraph jumps from the amiibo, to the game, and back to the amiibo. I'd put this sentence at the end of the paragraph, and change the beginning of this to "The game itself is..."
  •  Done: I didn't know somebody had add something about posters, as far as I can tell there never even where posters to begin with according to the lack of it mentioned anywhere else.

Reception

• The info about sales should be in its own paragraph.
  •  Done
• Is Gaming Age the best (and only at that) citation for the "forgettable and unoriginal, with uninspired level design" portion? It's a pretty big claim, and this source is situational according to WP:VG/RS. There's a lot of sources here; I bet someone else had something similar to say.
• Overall, this can be greatly expanded, but luckily I think its kind of okay prose-wise. However, a lot of the sources in the table are unused. Including Game Informer, Game Revolution, GameSpot, Nintendo World Report, Shacknews, The Guardian, and VentureBeat. This is more than half of the sources in the table unused. If you can't find a good way to include them in prose, at least use some inline citations. For example: "Though critics stated that the game was "bogged down" by a lot of problems, it was praised for its sound design, visuals, and overall charm." This has no inline citations, but since its the ol' classic Nintendo game, I bet the graphics are mentioned in multiple of these unused sources. You can cite them there, but don't need to include prose, just simply those blue numbers to prove "critics" is plural.
  •  Done

• Other parts of the text that could use inline citation include:

"Critics had a major problem with the "Destination Wheel", which is the way the player moves between levels, claiming it is incredibly restrictive and pointless to the overall point of the game."

Legacy

• "...a mechanic in Zip Lash where Chibi Robo could harness the power of fire." This is already mentioned in gameplay. Maybe, -> "...Nintendo posted an image on Twitter of 'Fiery Chibi-Robo'; Chibi-Robo using the fire ability."
  •  Done
• "Hype" is too much of gamer jargon in my opinion. Could you replace this?
  •  Done

Miscellaneous

• Per MOS:ALLCAPS, references shouldn't be in all caps, even if that's how it's stylized on the website. Only ref7 applies for this.
  •  Done
• Additionally, sources in other languages should use the "trans title=" parameter. Use this for ref4 and ref7. For Japanese translating, ask Nihonjoe (I have now pinged him). For the Italian source... I don't know, but reach out and try to find someone. If not, use Google Translate.

That's it for "now", but I'M NOT DONE! I'm gonna give it one more look-through and see if I missed anything. But as it stands, I'll put this on hold until the above concerns are addressed and I can proceed in a second look. Panini^🥪 17:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Not sure what you want me to do. Could you be more specific? Please ping me on any reply so I notice it. Thanks! ···日本穣 · 投稿 · Talk to Nihonjoe · Join WP Japan! 21:05, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Nihonjoe, Simply need an English translation for reference four ("なげなわアクション！ぐるぐる！ちびロボ！：ちびロボが地球をぐるぐる!ニンテンドー3DS任") Panini^🥪 21:18, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Done! ···日本穣 · 投稿 · Talk to Nihonjoe · Join WP Japan! 21:24, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

@Panini!: I have corrected most of the required concerns, however I will probably get most of the larger rewording work done tomorrow when I have more time. CaptainGalaxy 20:48, 25 January 2021 (UTC)

That's alright, as long as you're actively contributing I'm gonna stick around. Panini^🥪 14:10, 26 January 2021 (UTC)

Captain Galaxy, It's been a while, are you still planning on completing this nomination? Panini^🥪 13:33, 3 February 2021 (UTC)

Panini! I'll get on it right away, been recently been dealing with something that makes it hard to concentrate on screens. Should be done soon! CaptainGalaxy 13:35, 3 February 2021 (UTC)

Panini!: I think I have corrected all the problem areas with the article. Hopefully, this should be good! CaptainGalaxy 01:21, 8 February 2021 (UTC)

Captain Galaxy Giving a quick glance, the reception is looking much better than it did before. I will give a second lookthrough in the near future. Panini^🥪 02:48, 8 February 2021 (UTC)

A couple of more notes before I give another re-look:

• Chibi-Robo or Chibi Robo?
• I've noticed a lot of typos and grammar issues which almost prompted me to fail the nomination altogether. I'm not a quitter, though; maybe install Grammarly to help?
• Look at every instance where "also" and "however" are used in the article; almost all the time these words are unnecessary.

I'll most likely give this article a second look through today. Panini^🥪 11:46, 8 February 2021 (UTC)

Panini! I managed to go through the article and corrected these mistakes, I didn't realize how inconsistent I can be sometimes. Also, thank you for the Grammarly suggestion, it works very well. CaptainGalaxy 17:41, 8 February 2021 (UTC)

Captain Galaxy, Sorry about the delay, I could say I was busy in reality I mainly forgot. I would like to see info about development in the lead, and then I'll comfortable enough to promote this. If you plan to go further with this article, I strongly recommend a copyedit and a peer review, however. Panini^🥪 14:21, 12 February 2021 (UTC)

Panini!: No worries about the delay, I get that way a lot myself, that's probably why this took longer than expected, my bad. I have now added a section of the development into the lead, with the addition of a citation. Thank you so much for doing this, as I know you quite busy with Paper Mario (by the way, excellent job!), this has taught me a lot for articles like this in the future. Also, thank you for the advice on the peer review and copyedit reviews, that should be good for the future of this article. Have a great day! CaptainGalaxy 14:56, 12 February 2021 (UTC)

Captain Galaxy, Closing as promoted. Good Job! Panini^🥪 14:59, 12 February 2021 (UTC)

The description which compares this entry in the series to previous entries is a bit unclear. The 2D sidescrolling aspect is unlike previous games. However, earlier games do indeed feature the "10 cm tall robot named Chibi Robo". Bigmog (talk) 00:57, 6 February 2021 (UTC)