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Talk:Cody Asche/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsguy17 (talk · contribs) 02:20, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take on this review baseball buddy. I'll begin shortly. Sportsguy17 (TC) 02:20, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Sportsguy17. Any idea when you will get to review this? Go Phightins! 01:12, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to take over this apparently abandoned GA review tomorrow per request of the nominator if there is no response by the reviewer by then. Thanks Secret account 01:23, 19 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry I was really busy. I'm starting my review now. Sportsguy17 (TC) 00:58, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I hate do this, but I need to fail this. But even with that, I have left my initial thoughts below. This is a fine little article so far.

Lead
  • The lead needs a lot more work than this, but I'm going to leave my first few thoughts to see if I can get this toward a GA without having to fail this. To summarize it, his personal life is given little to no mentioning besides his college career/experience, including his current personal life (family, hobbies, etc.)
  • Put things in the lead in the past tense (ex. majored in economics).
  • Done (that and the other one).
  • In the second paragraph, just make the first sentence He was called up by the Phillies in July 2013. Nevertheless and those types of words seem semi-awkward to read.
  • Did roughly that - didn't include the passive voice, though.
  • In the second paragraph (last sentence), add who the manager is, since people who don't follow the Phillies or MLB may not know.
  • Done.
Early Life
  • Not too much, but one quick thing: Anything in the last sentence beyond the reference of the honor roll should become it's own sentence. Otherwise, this section is good.
  • Tweaked - think I achieved what you wanted.
Professional career
  • Minor league section looks good, but change heading to Minor League career
  • Done - should "league" be capitalized though?
  • Second section should have a level 3 heading of Major League career, level 4 heading for team/franchise, and level 5 for seasons. The content itself seems good. I do have concerns about stability of this section, since Opening Day is in less than 2 weeks, meaning that section could change some, but I think it should not stop this article from passing this review.
  • Done. Yeah - stability is always an issue with current players, but he was named the starter yesterday, so that should ease some of your concerns. I will continue to update as need arises throughout the season.
Player profile
  • The headings of offense and defense don't really work well on my tounge. Perhaps change it to batting and fielding to more accurately describe the positions of baseball?
  • Done, though worth noting I have seen both.
Personal life
  • This section needs major expansion. There is very little about his interests, hobbies, family, etc. This is a vital section of the article and can often engage the reader beyond just baseball. This will also factor into the lead.
  • Is that expansion sufficient? What else specifically would you like to see?

If you'd like to re-list this laterOnce you've made the suggested changes, feel free and ping me so I can pass or fail it. Sportsguy17 (TC) 01:36, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reopening the review, Sportsguy17. Go Phightins! 21:18, 23 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I am passing the article now. I am busy, but remembered I forgot to close this, so I am closing this as a pass. Sportsguy17 (TC) 00:55, 11 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]