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Talk:Cookie (video game)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Juhachi (talk · contribs) 02:50, 16 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:
    B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused (see summary style):
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:


Infobox
  • The image caption says "ZX Spectrum cover art", but seeing as how the game does not appear to have been released for any other system, it should probably just be "Cover art".
  • Arcade is a platform, not a genre
Lead
  • Similarly, remove arcade from arcade-action here.
  • "and attempts to escape" --> and attempt to escape
  • "The game was written by Chris Stamper and graphics were designed by Tim Stamper." -- Place a comma between Stamper and 'and'.
  • Cookie was one of the very few Spectrum games and the one of four Ultimate games" --> Cookie was one of the few Spectrum games and one of only four Ultimate games
    • As a caveat to this, "and the one of four Ultimate games" in the original sentence is not supported in the body of the article, so either remove it from the lead, or add it to the article body with a reliable source.
    • Removed "and the one of four Ultimate games". I remember seeing the statement in a couple of print magazines, but it was probably for the review of another game I was working on at the time JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A version was also created for the BBC Micro but was not" --> Place a comma between Micro and but.
  • "with critics praising the graphics however criticising the hard difficulty" --> with critics praising the graphics, but criticising the hard difficulty
Gameplay
  • "from a single 2D perspective and the main objective" --> from a single, 2D perspective, and the main objective
  • "from evil sentient ingredients." -- Place a comma between evil and sentient.
  • "from; Mixed Peel" -- Remove the semicolon.
  • "who will jump out of the pantry" -- Does this mean all of them, or just Colonel Custard? Because if it's all of them, place 'all' between will and jump.
  • "simultaneously, if the player" -- Place 'and' before if.
  • "before they knock the player into the mix" -- You mean the mix in the bowl? If that's what you mean, they why don't just say "into the bowl"?
  • "can shoot flour sacks which will push" -- Place a common between sacks and which.
  • "the right variety ingredients into the bowl" -- Place 'of' after variety.
Background
  • "The company were known for their reluctance" --> The company was known for their reluctance
  • "one team would work on development whilst the other would concentrate" --> one team would work on development, while the other would concentrate
  • "and was scheduled for release in 1984, however it was" --> and was scheduled for release in 1984; however, it was
Reception
  • "the most difficult of all Ultimate games" --> the most difficult of all games developed by Ultimate.
  • "Mangham however," --> Mangham, however
References
  • Change the accessdate in ref 5 to the mdy format used in the other refs.
Additional comments
  • @Juhachi: thanks for the review again! I think I've addressed everything here. This is probably the shortest article I've sent to GAN, and unfortunately the length can't be helped due to the fact that old games like these were literally developed in people's attics (it also doesn't help that Ultimate was a very secretive company). I'm likely to make a few minor syntax errors when writing this up in one day, so thanks for pointing them out! JAGUAR  14:57, 16 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Good work again, though I once again went back and updated the FURs in the images as I did on Blackwyche. But everything else looks good, so I'll pass this one for GA as well.--十八 20:35, 16 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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