Talk:Dan Jones (footballer, born 1994)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:22, 5 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Tend to avoid single-sentence paras, lead could be either expanded to make the first para larger or merge/split accordingly.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"during the 2016–17 season" seems weird to link the Grimsby season when he's playing for other clubs in that season, maybe just the general season article?
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"of the 2019–20 season on loan " lnk?
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"end of the 2020–21 season" ditto.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Jones born" ->" Dan Jones was born"
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Could add DOB there too.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
" the Academy at" no need for capital A.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"youth-team" no hyphen required.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Jones' progress" Jones's.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"meniscus cartilage tear" link?
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"at Victoria Park on" context?
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Link caretaker.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"manager Paul Murray" manager has a link.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"who would last just six weeks" bit tabloid, maybe "who lasted six weeks"
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"helping "Pools" to avoid" avoid unexplained nicks.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"summer.[15][16][14] " order.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"made just 12" "just" is inherently POV.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"in just three league" stop saying "just".
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"only five appearances" ditto with "only", perhaps context so say how many games the team had that season or something to give people a comparison.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"would miss" ->"missed".
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"impressed new" according to whom?
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"as the "Bluebirds" finished" nickname again.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"having stood out in an inconsistent Barrow team" your opinion or attributable quote?
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Manager Ian Evatt stated.." it was Alexander a couple of sentences ago?
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"was curtailed early on 16 March" no need for early, curtailed means that.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
" in an EFL Trophy tie against" overlinked.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"on 62-minutes" no hyphen.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"a yellow card" link.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"new "Ammies" manager" nickname...
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"honest... he'll" non-breaking space before ... for an ellipsis.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"red card" link.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"to switch the play" link or explain.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"throw-in" link.
- Done.--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That is it. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 20:44, 8 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Brilliant, many thanks!--Echetus Xe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]