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Talk:Ghost in the Shell (video game)/GA2

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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 23:35, 1 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I will take up this article. I'll get to it as soon as possible, but it may be a couple of days. --ProtoDrake (talk) 23:35, 1 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Right, here we go.

Lead:

  • Nothing wrong here. Demonstrates all the salient points.

Gameplay:

  • Writing concise and well-phrased. Ably demonstrates salient points. All references work good, though I might update the url for ref 5. And possibly archive ref 4.

Plot: A few minor issues concerning grammar and manual of style.

  • "Section 9 were able to trace their communication and located their location at the Bay area however was a trap." Maybe "Section 9 are able to trace their communication and locate their location at the Bay area, however is a trap." would be better.
    • "However is a trap" still isn't right. I'd suggest changing it to "Section 9 are able to trace their communication and locate their location at the Bay area; however, it is a trap." Tezero (talk) 21:37, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Batou and Togusa encounter obstacles that disable them from moving forward, leaving the Rookie to be the only available member." I think "Batou and Togusa encounter obstacles that prevent them from moving forward, leaving the Rookie as the only available member."
  • "After the ordeal, it was revealed that Sawamura planned". Possibly "is" rather than "was" in that part of the sentence.
  • "however Zebra 27 intervene and wanted to take over the nuclear reactor to extort money from Sawamura.". Perhaps change to "however Zebra 27 intervened and wanted to take over the nuclear reactor to extort money from Sawamura.".
  • "Kusanagi declares the entire ordeal a training mission for the Rookie, but criticized his over dependency of the Fuchikoma." Maybe change to "Kusanagi declares the entire ordeal a training mission for the Rookie, but criticizes his over-dependency on the Fuchikoma."

Developemnt:

  • Clear read and sound-looking references.

Release and promotion:

  • You might want to archive refs 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and 22, but that's entirely optional as all are operational.

Reception:

  • Ref 31 is the same as ref 5 4. This needs dealing with.

That's all I can find here. All relatively minor. --ProtoDrake (talk) 12:35, 2 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@ProtoDrake: I made most of the necessary changes, only one sentences I that Tezero didn't agree with was difficult to figure out. The rest i don't think will affect Ga status such as archiving but i have been worried about it and will ask someone with more knowledge on how to archive or if someone can do it for me. Lucia Black (talk) 15:10, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Also i'm not sure what you mean by ref 31 nd ref 5 being the same, i just checked and they don't appear the same, i even clicked both links. Lucia Black (talk) 15:13, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I am so sorry. I meant ref 4. Has been corrected. And you can archive urls here. Just copy and paste the url, hit "browse history" and either select the latest archived version that shows what you want or, if it hasn't been done yet, archive it. The site doesn't show any signs of going down in a hurry. --ProtoDrake (talk) 15:20, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Like i said, i dont know how to archive myself, i know how to search through archives already placed. Lucia Black (talk) 15:34, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I can do it if you like, unless that would invalidate my ability to review this article. --ProtoDrake (talk) 15:39, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

For now i don't think its necessary to pass or fail the article. I think we covered most of them. i personally dont think it would be harmful i've seen other editors intervene with certain minor issues. Anchiving these pages would help preserve the GA though if it passes. Lucia Black (talk) 15:41, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've sorting out the archiving. Give me a little time to go over it again, and I'll get back with a final verdict. --ProtoDrake (talk) 16:02, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Second Pass: Nothing wrong that I can see. All issues sorted. Yep. I think a pass for this article. Good work. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:26, 3 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

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