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Talk:Gita Gutawa/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 12:52, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    The prose not ok. These are just examples from the lead:
    "is an Indonesian soprano, actress, and songwriter; she is also the daughter of noted composer Erwin Gutawa." - replace semicolon with period and remove "noted" (seems like POV)
    "Although she originally studied piano, Gutawa later switched to vocals." - reads better
    "After album featuring the duet sold 800,000 copies, " - this is odd grammar, and what album?
    "The success of that album, the self-titled Gita Gutawa, led to her receiving numerous acting and marketing job offers. " - totally redundant
    "She has recorded two albums since then" - since when? Since she received "numerous acting and marketing job offers"? Or when she released her album? This is not clear.
    "Gutawa resents what she feels is a perception that she became successful through nepotism" - I don't understand what you mean. And how is that notable to know?
    or in text below:
    "After several performances had to be canceled due to an inability to find band members at short notice, she assembled a band, made up mostly of girls her own age." - this should be definetly reworded
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    Most of sources are not in English, so I don't know how reliable they are. I know The Jakarta Post is reliable, but how are the following:
    kapanlagi.com
  • Entertainment news website with paid journalists. Note how articles like this have a three letter code (or codes; in this case (kpl/wwn/boo)).
  1. republika.com
  1. us.hot.detik.com
  • Like KapanLagi.com, entertainment website with paid journalists and editorial control.
  1. balipost.co.id
  • Official website of the Bali Post, which we don't have an article on yet.
  1. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  2. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  3. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  4. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    Of course it would be nice to have a picture of Gita.
  • Sadly I'm batting 0.000 on OTRS requests, so... I've asked someone who's had more success to try KapanLagi.com; the editor succeeded in getting two pictures of Agnes Monica.
  1. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
Thanks for taking this. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:10, 4 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dabsolver check: ok
  • Checklinks check: ok
  • On hold Sorry, but the prose is not very engaging, and totally not ok for GA. Please request one on WP:GOCE/REQ. I will put this on hold. Let me know if the article is copyedited.
  • I'm doing the copyedit on my own for now. If it's still not up to par later, I'll contact the guild. As a side note, it seems that The Jakarta Post and other sources always use Gita to refer to her. Should we do the same? Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:25, 5 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • " This led to Gutawa's mother stepping in and serving as her manager, in which role she continued until she became pregnant with Gutawa's sister" - A woman can be pregnant from a woman?
  • " This was followed by a third album, the Islamic religious album Balada Shalawat, in August 2010" - in August released, recorded? Not clear.
  • Ok, will list it. Congrats!