Talk:Help at Any Cost/GA1

GA Review

1. Image:Help at Any Cost.jpg - This image should probably be at a lower resolution and the fair use rationale needs to indicate who the copyright holder is.
2. She goes over some of the background and history of the troubled teen industry, including influences from attack therapy, Erhard Seminars Training and Synanon. - awkward wording "goes over" and "including influences"
3. She utilized first-person accounts and court testimony in her research, and states that no evidence exists proving that these programs are effective - awkward use of past and present tense - check the rest of the article for this problem
4. Teenagers have been participating in tough love behavior modification programs since the 1960s, some against their will - "some" refers back to programs here, but I think you meant it to refer to the teenagers - some sentence reorganization is needed
5. According to a 2004 statement released by the National Institutes of Health, teen programs using "fear and tough treatment" are not successful, and evidence shows that they can worsen existing behavioral problems - Is this mentioned in the book?
6. Bacon's parents attempted to bring the North Star organization to justice but were not successful. - What does "to justice" mean? The phrase is a little vague.
7. calling the work "a courageous-if horrifying--study of the tough-love industry" - Check the dashes here - en-dashes? em-dashes?
8. Page ranges should have en-dashes in the "References".
9. There are a lot of "External links" - would they all add something significant to readers' knowledge if they read the article and listened to/read them?

Excellent article! I'll put it on hold so these minor issues can be fixed up. Awadewit (talk) 17:17, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Thanks, I will get on addressing these above points and get back to you. Cirt (talk) 18:16, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Responses to above

1. Image:Help at Any Cost.jpg - Lower resolution, and expanded on copyright holder info. Cirt (talk) 18:21, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
2. Edited the syntax in this sentence a bit, could possibly use a tad more tweaking. Cirt (talk) 18:25, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

   I tweaked some more. Awadewit (talk) 15:59, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

   Thanks, looks much better. Cirt (talk) 22:25, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

3. Changed "utilized" to "utilizes", tense uniformity. Cirt (talk) 18:26, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
4. Removed "some against their will", it could be added in a separate succinct sentence but is not particularly necessary in that sentence. Cirt (talk) 18:30, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
5. Yes, it is mentioned in the introduction, pp. 12-13. Cirt (talk) 18:33, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

   That is unclear from this wording. It seemed like a relevant fact introduced by the editor. :) Perhaps the fact could be couched in language that clearly indicates that it comes from the book? Awadewit (talk) 15:59, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

   Tweaked this a bit to make it more clear. Cirt (talk) 06:31, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

6. I removed this sentence. It refers moreso to the parents' attempts to gain publicity and educate others about the issue, but is not significantly related to the legal matter against the individuals themselves. Cirt (talk) 06:36, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
7. Adjusted, one was a en-dash, another a em-dash. Cirt (talk) 20:47, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
8. Changed page range dashes to en-dashes. Cirt (talk) 20:47, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
9. Moved some of the excessive external links to the talk page, could be used as additional reference material at some point in the future but not necessary. Cirt (talk) 20:47, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

I believe all of the above issues have been addressed. Cirt (talk) 06:36, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

• They have and I am passing the article. Awadewit (talk) 12:05, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

• Many thanks. Cirt (talk) 12:11, 3 September 2008 (UTC)