Talk:Jamal Crawford/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 10:44, 23 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I will use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria -
It contains copyright infringements -
It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include{{cleanup}}, {{POV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{citation needed}}, {{clarify}}, or similar tags. (See also {{QF-tags}}). -
It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. -

Links

Prose

Lede

That lede needs splitting into paragraphs
Generally speaking, all information in the lede should be in the main body of the text. That being said, it doesn't need citations.
Is he retired, or a free agent?
Probably need to say Cleveland Cavaliers
"Suit up" is puff.
Knicks and Warriors, Hawks and Blazers, Clippers, Timberwolves, and Suns. - what is this list?
2010, in 2014, and again in 2016, - don't need to say "again in." also, be consistent with the Oxford comma.
four-point plays, - jargon. What is this?
with 55 in the regular season and 60 total (counting the playoffs). - I don't think the bracketted bit is important.
As recently as April 9, 2019, - just state the date,
As recently as April 9, 2019, Crawford (39 years, 20 days) became the oldest player to score 50+ points in a game, as well as the first to do so with four different franchises - wait, he was the oldest player to score 50+ for four clubs?
we don't need "further"
off the bench. - as a substitute.

General

a basketball powerhouse - please don't use words such as powerhouse.
produced such NBA and college talents as - editorial style wording, and promotional.
Jamal led the Vikings to capture the 1998 WIAA (Washington Interscholastic Activities Association) - other way around. Acryonms go in brackets.
link scholarship
Expand NCAA
At the start of the season, he incurred a six-game suspension after the NCAA ruled his living arrangement with a Seattle businessman while still in high school retroactively breached its bylaws on amateurism and the receiving of benefits; the University of Michigan protested that their decision misconstrued his pre-college situation, yet to no avail - needs a reword. It's a huge sentence, split it up
With the suspension behind him, the six foot five freshman played as a starter for Michigan - puff
16.6 points, 2.8 rebounds, 4.5 assists, and 1.1 steals per contest. - you can't just chuck all of these statitics up in the air in a list and not explain what they mean.
8th - eighth.
In 61 games, with only 8 of them starting, the rookie notched 4.6 points, 1.5 rebounds, and 2.3 assists per contest. - In 61 games (8 starting)...
Opening the season with the youngest roster in NBA history, with an average of 22.9 years of age and seven rookies, the Bulls who had decided to focus on rebuilding finished with a 15-67 record. - what has this got to do with the subject?
He nevertheless improved across nearly all statistical categories - just say he did better!
Crawford played 51 productive minutes, drilled 6 three-pointers, - promotional.
The Bulls finished the season at 23-59 in what was Scottie Pippen's final year in the NBA. - this isn't an article on the Bulls.
Crawford was traded, along with Jerome Williams, to the New York Knicks in exchange for Dikembe Mutombo, Othella Harrington, Frank Williams, and Cezary Trybanski.^{[citation needed]}
We don't need to link major landmasses, such as New York City.
Quite a few unsourced paragraphs here.
The image captions seem completely pointless. What are the images actually showing?

GA Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Comments

Automated note - If you fancy returning the favour, I have outstanding GA nominations that require reviewing at WP:GAN. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these, however it's definitely not mandatory. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}
- Theroyalrambler - I'm going to put this one on hold. The amount of promotional language and unsourced material is too much for me to complete the rest of the review at present. Could you go through, fix the above, and make sure everything in the article is sourced? I'll then take a look at the rest of the article Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:57, 28 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm going to fail this one due to no response in 7 days. Feel free to renominate if you fix these issues. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:44, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]