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Talk:Jeffrey Hammonds/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Bladeboy1889 (talk · contribs) 09:15, 24 June 2012 (UTC) Bladeboy1889 (talk) 09:15, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, you're taking this on as well as Huggins. Thank you for doing so, and please, no rush. – Muboshgu (talk) 16:28, 24 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Found time to do this now so here goes. I wanted to cut back on the short sentences but rather than go through identifying changes here I decided it was probably quicker just to do it myself - have a read through and make sure I've not misunderstood or changed the meaning of anything.

Amateur career:

No worries - just wanted to check Bladeboy1889 (talk)

Draft:

  • Signing fee - could merge the first two sentences of this section together (with 'and') maybe? If not then I think the statement about his demands needs a ref to clarify it rather than relying on the ref for sentence two.
  • Derek Jeter - is this relevant / notable? If it is then it probably needs a bit of context / expansion plus a wikilink. If not then I'd be in favour of excising it.
  • Road trips - I don't understand this bit. What's the relevance / context? Either way it needs to be 'road trips' (plural) surely? Also should be 'employed by any other team?
    • Well, it was one two month long road trip. Also, it was for the US national team, which is not a professional team.
      • Ah yes - I'd not read it as the road trips were for the Olympic team - I'd seen it as for the Orioles. It makes the next sentence unclear though - he 'struggled with the team', which one - the Orioles or the Olympic team? Bladeboy1889 (talk)

Boltimore Orioles:

  • Debut - can a player play for two teams concurrently or was there some sort of timeline between the two side with one coming after the other? If so then maybe add '...and later the Rochester Red Wings...'?
  • 'Shut down' - is that a baseball / US term? (eg the equivalent of being 'sidelined' as used in the UK?) If so should it be 'until the end of the season' rather than 'for the end'?
  • 'Optioned to Bowie' - could be 'back to Bowie'? - Is it obvious from this statement what happened? I don't really understand it as there's no mention of him then playing for them or doing anything else? Query more than anything - if this is a widely understood term in a baseball context then OK to leave.
    • I added a link for the term "option". Since Hammonds was still new in the organization, the Orioles had the "option" to send him to the minor league team of their choice. – Muboshgu (talk) 01:36, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • 'demoted to Rochester' - could be 'back to'?
  • 'postseason' should that be 'post season' or 'post-season'?

Searching for success:

  • Initial return to the Orioles - is there a ref for the info about him being bumped down to train with (what I presume is) the reserves?
  • Cincinnati Reds - definitely needs a ref for this section, even if just to cover the season stats.

All star season:

  • Last bit of the first para - could this warrant a bit of sentence expansion as it feels a bit clinical as is - 'Despite this at the end of...' maybe?
    • I agree this should be expanded. It was his best season in MLB. It seems that Google News archives aren't working right now, so I'll try to beef it up later. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:12, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • I added some to it with the help of Baseball Reference and High Beam, but I want to see what else I can add when the Google News archives are back up. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Good stuff - it seemed odd that they let him walk away after his best season. Feel free to add more refs as this seems quite a critical point, but I'd say there's enough there for GA for the time being. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

Struggles:

And that's pretty much it - I'm guessing his playing period means there unlikely to be any free images available? A lot of the refs are subscription only which makes them difficult to verify but I'll take as read that they contain what's included in the prose. The only thing missing seem to be something specifically reffing his last couple of signings. A lot of what's above are queries rather than specific changes - all open to discussion. Aside from that - looks good. He does sound like someone who got paid very handsomely despite being injured most of his career! Bladeboy1889 (talk) 16:38, 29 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I've struck through stuff I think is covered - a couple of outstanding queries and then I think we're good to go. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 17:56, 3 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Good stuff - I think everything looks good now. Good work on this and I'm finally starting to get to grips with the baseball terminology and culture - a few more GA reviews of player articles and I might even start to understand it. :) Will head off and GA it now. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 09:10, 4 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]