Talk:Judaism in Rugrats/GA1
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Reviewer: liquidluck✽talk 23:01, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
Looks good overall, mostly minor grammar concerns. Feel free to argue with me over my suggestions:
- "...a dynamic passively shown in American animated programming during the series' broadcast run." I'm not sure what this sentence is trying to say.
- It was barely used in cartoons in America when the series was around. The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 17:56, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- New Where is it referenced in the body? liquidluck✽talk 18:05, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- The whole first paragraph in "Reception." The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 22:37, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- New I'm not sure why I missed that! Just add the years the program ran, and I'll wrap up here. liquidluck✽talk 22:46, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- The whole first paragraph in "Reception." The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 22:37, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- New Where is it referenced in the body? liquidluck✽talk 18:05, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- It was barely used in cartoons in America when the series was around. The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 17:56, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- Change "overwhelmingly popular" to "positive" and delete "incredible" and "highly" per WP:WEASEL. Change Conversely to However,
- Rewrite all caps reference titles in standard casing.
- Assuming you mean ref 1, Done The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 17:56, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- "and parents to" -> "and parents of"
- "respected parents" -> "respective parents"
- "Boris and Minka have orchestrated at their humble abode" -> hosted by Boris and Minka
- "is the story" -> in the story
- "A Rugrats Chanukah," originally aired" -> "which originally aired"
- "in the Rugrats franchise" -> "in other aspects of the Rugrats franchise"
- "as the script did not portray her in a way that she could work with" What does this mean? Stereotypically?
- The script gave very non-Jewish things for Chartoff to say which didn't exactly portray Minka's personality in a workable way. In her words, "The creators might have been Jews, but the writers clearly weren't." The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 17:56, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- New. Try replacing it with a quote- any quote. liquidluck✽talk 18:57, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- ...when he was penning the teleplay" Did he convert because of the script, or shortly before?
- Shortly before. The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 17:56, 8 April 2010 (UTC)
- "Grandparents to anti-Semitic" -> "the characterizations of Boris and Minka were anti-Semeitic"
- Result
Putting the article on hold until April 12, 2010. Nice work! liquidluck✽talk 23:02, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review! :D The Flash I am Jack's complete lack of surprise 17:56, 8 April 2010 (UTC)