Talk:Kawaji Toshiyoshi/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: AustralianRupert (talk · contribs) 02:00, 23 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I will take a look at this article. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 02:00, 23 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

General comments: G'day, Arius1998, thanks for your efforts with this article. I have a few comments/suggestions prior to looking at the GA criteria. Happy to discuss any you don't agree with. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 02:23, 23 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

the duplicate link checker tool indentifies quite a few overlinked terms: Satsuma Domain, Daimyo, Bugyo, Tokyo, Shinsengumi, Boshin War are a few examples. If you install the script in your monobook, it will help you locate them all:
there are no dab links, and the external links all work: [1] (no action required)
suggest splitting the paragraph here: To further study foreign...
suggest splitting the paragraph here: On 19 February 1877, the...
the date format used in the article is inconsistent, for instance compare "17 June 1834" with "June 17, 1834"
the article doesn't seem to provide much detail about his rise through the Army ranks, or indeed when exactly he joined the Imperial Japanese Army
Before the 1871 Abolition of the han system...: should be a lowercase "a" for "abolition" here
in his capacity as major general... --> " in his capacity as a major general"
As precautionary measure... --> "As a precautionary measure"
Even though Kawaji was not an administrator, despite having...: this is a bit of a complex sentence "Even though" and "despite" together make it difficult to work out exactly what is being said here. Suggest rewording
The strict discipline he aimed to instill among policemen can be seen in his own work ethic, considering he slept only around four hours a day, when in duty --> "He aimed to instill strict discipline among policemen and slept only around four hours a day, when on duty"?
not sure of the wording here: One motto of his for police officers is "no sleep, no rest." -- the tense seems wrong and is it really a motto?
with a unified swordsmanship --> "with a unified style of swordsmanship"?
Difficulties of integration notwithstanding, this integration... suggest removing one mention of "integration" here to avoid repetition
from the experience with the Satsuma Rebellion. --> "from his experience during the Satsuma Rebellion"?
What bolstered this allegation --> "What bolstered the credability of this allegation"?
in the References, many of the citations to books lack page numbers and ISBNs/or OCLC numbers. For GA, I really think this is necessary to allow readers to verify the information
Citation # 1 (de Gruyter), in addition to the above, lacks publisher details
Citation # 2 (Landman), what is [sic] denoting here? It isn't part of the title, so I would suggest just deleting it
Citation # 17 (Statistics Bureau), is lacking bibliographic details. For instance, "Statistics Bureau" should probably be listed as the publisher, and the full title of the work is "Population of Japan: Final Report of The 2000 Population Census". If you are citing it as a webpage, it should also have an accessdate
Citation # 23 (Sansom), should use italics for its title for consistency with the other citations to books
Citations # 12 - 16: are there publishers, and OCLC numbers or ISBNs for these works? (These can be found at Worldcat.org) and they help readers locate the sources for verification purposes
Citation # 19 (Kornicki): is there an ISBN and a year of publication for this work?
Citation # 20 (Tetsuya): ISBN and page number?
in the Further reading section, is there a translation that can be added for the title?
in the Further reading section, is there an OCLC number that could be added for the Suzuki book?
what did he die of, do we know?
did he marry, or have children?
per WP:MILPOP, Popular culture sections are generally to be avoided. With regards to this topic, does the coverage indicate that the appearances are notable? For instance, are the references just passing mentions, or signficant coverage of the subject's impact on popular culture?
what makes this source reliable: [2]?
same as above for [3]?
"File:Kawaji toshiyoshi.jpg": what is the underlying copyright of the statue that has been photographed here, do you know? Per this, unfortunately the copyright status of this photograph may not be so clear as a sculpture in a public place: [4]
"File:Battotai.JPG": also needs a specific US licence
the Earwig tool seems happy that copyright violations of online sources seems unlikely: [5] (no action required)

Your comments are appreciated. I have done some modifications as per your recommendations which hopefully qualifies the article for GA. As for some of your queries, as far as the research goes, there appears to be no significant information whether Kawaji had married or any children. Meanwhile, his appearance in the said manga/anime was significant in the sense that he played major roles in a number of arcs, such as the Kyoto arc and the Feng Shui arc. If there are additional concerns, kindly relay them. Thank you for your review. Arius1998 (talk) 02:54, 27 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

G'day, Arius1998, your changes look good. I have made a few minor tweaks to the capitalisation and have removed some more of the overlinked terms. There are still a couple of points that I would ask you to comment on here, or to address before the review can be finalised: AustralianRupert (talk) 03:02, 27 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

some of the books still lack page numbers, e.g Sims, Aldous , Ramcharan, Bennett, Yates, and others. Can you please add these in?
OCLCs/or ISBNs for Citations 12 to 16, and translations for publishers?
regarding the popular culture reference, I think if it is going to be included, the source actually needs to state something along the lines that the subject has had a significant impact on popular culture. Is that what the source says, or is it just an index of appearances?
the point about progression through the ranks, or when he joined the Imperial Japanese Army hasn't been addressed -- if sources don't state this, no worries, please just let me know
the point about the underlying copyright of "File:Kawaji toshiyoshi.jpg" hasn't been addressed yet
the point about "File:Battotai.JPG" needing a US licence hasn't been addressed yet

Thanks again AustralianRupert. Thus far, only three of the five Japanese sources can be verified with a book number. Is this alright? As for the page numbers, is it possible to add a whole range of pages to qualify for GA (e.g., the Guttman source)? In the popular culture part, if it requires removal to qualify for GA, then I do not have objections. As for the military career, the sources do not say much about the transition. The Imperial Japanese Army was founded only in 1868 as a result of the Meiji Restoration. There were former samurai such as Kawaji who were integrated into this military force. If by progression, it is meant a description of his former rankings prior to general, it appears the sources may not yield much information since the Japanese military prior to Meiji do not possess similar ranking progressions as in Europe or in America. As for the images, File:Kawaji toshiyoshi.jpg appears to be an author's own work. If it hinders qualification, I have no objections to its removal. Meanwhile, I already added another tag for File:Battotai.JPG. Hopefully, this addresses the issues raised prior to finalizing the review. Thank you. Arius1998 (talk) 03:52, 27 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

G'day, image licencing looks fine now, thanks. Regarding page numbers, a range is okay, but it is best to add smaller page ranges if possible (as that helps with verification). A range of "19–91" for instance is probably too big. If need be, you may have to duplicate the main parts of the citation, but display the relevant page numbers for the relevant sentence/paragraph. The Sansom, Mounsey, Hillsborough, Ames, Dupuy, Tetsuya and Iwata sources will also need page numbers. Regarding the Japanese sources, I found one on Worldcat and added some details with these edits: [6]. Can you check for the others also, please? I will check back in a while, and see if I can help in this regard, too. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 06:27, 27 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Arius1998: G'day, Arius, just letting you know I have to travel interstate (flying out tonight). I will be without reliable internet until probably 8 Dec. I will leave the review open during that time, to give you more of a chance to cover off on the remaining points. I have found a few more of the details for the Japanese language sources, but I'm afraid I can't really help with finding the missing page numbers, so I will have to leave this up to you. I will check back on the review when I get back. Sorry for any inconvenience. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 02:59, 30 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Arius1998: G'day, Arius, how are you getting on with finding the remaining page numbers? This is pretty much all that remains, IMO, and then the review can be closed. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 23:05, 9 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Just to clarify, based on the guidance at Wikipedia:What the Good article criteria are not, page numbers are needed for statistics, quotes, contentious BLP, published opinion, and counter-intuitive or controversial statements that might be challenged. As such, looking at the refs that are missing page numbers, I believe the following applies: AustralianRupert (talk) 23:35, 9 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Citations 12 to 16: page numbers probably not necessary
Citation 20 (Itō Tetsuya) probably does need page numbers as it seems like it might be published opinion ("He is believed to have been recruited by Kawaji himself")
Citation 23 (Sansom) probably is fine without page numbers
Citation 24 (Sanchez Garcia) should be fine without page numbers
Citation 25 (Mounsey) probably needs page numbers as it is being used for statistics (for instance citation 25 is used for "around 20,000" and "numbering around 500")
Citation 26 (Hillsborough) probably needs page numbers as it is potentially controversial "affirmed Kawaji's intention to assassinate Saigō to prevent a civil war."
Citation 27 (Ames) potentially needs page numbers as the information seems like it could be controversial
Citation 28 (Dupuy) probably doesn't need page numbers
Citation 29 (Iwata) probably should have page numbers as it is potentially controversial (naming someone as being involved in an assassination)

Your inputs are appreciated AustralianRupert. Apologies for taking some time off due to unstable internet connection. Except for Itō, which I seemed to have lost access recently, I believe I have provided the page numbers required for the citations mentioned. I hope this would be helpful in the facilitation of the review. Thank you. Arius1998 (talk) 04:15, 12 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

No worries, good work. I will pass it now, although I do recommend finding the page numbers for Ito when/if you can get access to the source in the future. Thanks for your efforts. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 02:21, 13 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

1. Well written: Y

a. the prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct; and

b. it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

2. Verifiable with no original research: Y

a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline;

b. all in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be

challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;

c. it contains no original research; and

d. it contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism.

3. Broad in its coverage: Y

a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and

b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. Y

5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute Y

6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: Y

a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content; and

b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.