Talk:Kirk Urso/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 09:49, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I'll pick this one up, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 09:49, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Initial review

Infobox

What's the sources for his full name and height?

Done, name through his North Carolina profile and height through his Columbus profile.

Lead

"was an American soccer player" > American professional soccer player?

Done, added. (The reason I had removed this is because he was a "professional" soccer player for less than a full year – the remainder of his career was either amateur/youth or semi-professional. Just thought it seemed more accurate to omit it entirely. No quibble with adding it back in though, you're vastly more experienced than I am with this sort of thing.)

I think professional is normally included just to indicate that the player reached that sort of level at some point during their career. Kosack (talk) 12:06, 6 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

His parents names are readily available and the fact he has a brother is probably worth including even if it is mentioned further on. [1][2]

Done, opening sentence of that paragraph now reads "Urso was born in Downers Grove, Illinois, the younger of two sons to his parents Michael and Sandra Urso." I didn't drop his brother's name in here because it is mentioned later on, but that could easily be added in if you think it would be better here.

College and amateur

Link overtime to Overtime (sports).

Done, linked (at the part reading "overtime free kick against Wofford...")

Include the abbreviation in brackets after Atlantic Coast Conference to explain further uses of ACC.

Done, added early in the second paragraph of the section.

"Urso was named as a team captain", did the squad have more than one captain?

Done, as far as I can tell (and according to the reference I added at this point) he was their only captain. Wording changed slightly to reflect this, let me know if it still needs a bit of tweaking.

Caroline Dynamo

Add the abbreviation for Premier Development League in brackets to explain further use of PDL.

Done, added.

Death and legacy

Major League Soccer is linked in both the first and second paragraphs. Per WP:OVERLINK, repeat links should generally be avoided, especially in such close proximity.

Done, removed the second link.

"Multiple players, including Stephen McCarthy[48] and Rob Lovejoy,[49] would later change their kit numbers to honor Urso", the two refs included would support McCarthy and Lovejoy changing their shirt numbers but the sentence ends with no source to support "multiple" players so to speak.

Done, changed to read "Some former teammates, including Stephen McCarthy...", again let me know if this still needs changed a bit.

Later memorials

Link cleats to Cleat (shoe).

Done, although I actually linked to Football boot, as that seemed to be a more accurate link.

A nice article about a very sad story for such a young man. A few minor points to look at, placed on hold while these are addressed. Kosack (talk) 08:30, 5 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Kosack:, I believed I've addressed everything here in some way, shape or form so far, there's still a couple of places that you might want to take a look at the wording but nothing too major. Thanks for yet another review, and good luck on the backlog drive! 21.colinthompson (talk) 05:36, 6 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Further comment

The first paragraph of the lead is acting almost like an introduction to the introduction in an odd way as it lists his international career and his cause of death which are both mentioned elsewhere in the lead. I think these mentions could be dropped (with any relevant info being moved to the appropriate part of the lead). Perhaps merge the first and second paragraphs once this is done?

Done, pretty sure I got the gist of this comment. The first paragraph covers his youth and college now, second paragraph his senior and international career, third virtually untouched. (For reference, I kinda modeled this off of Sigi Schmid's lede.)

I think this last part is it from me then. Kosack (talk) 12:13, 6 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Kosack:, believe I've addressed all concerns then. 21.colinthompson (talk) 19:44, 6 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Indded, I'm happy that this meets the GA criteria quite comfortably. Promoting, nice work! Kosack (talk) 06:24, 7 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]