Talk:Ndiadiane Ndiaye/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Simongraham (talk · contribs) 12:27, 12 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Freedom4U (talk · contribs) 23:52, 7 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will be reviewing this per discussion here. I am not finished yet so I would appreciate if you wait to act on my review. ~ F4U (talk • they/it) 06:51, 8 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

(I used a random number generator)

2. The page numbers for this reference are wrong. Check the pdf of the source here. I assume this reference refers to the quote Le Siin (capitale Diakhao) aurait compté 57 souverains, nommés Maad a Sinig ou Buur-Sinn, selon N. Diouf; les Gelwaar auraient commencé leur règne vers 1360. I'm not sure this verifies either of these claims. Alioune Sarr seems to be citing N. Diouf for the dating, not making the claims himself, and he also doesn't seem to say anything of "Ndiadiane Ndiaye's reign". Please correct me if I'm reading this wrong, my French is not very good.
6. This source makes me quite concerned as to why he's being described as "semi-legendary" instead of "legendary". In addition, by using the language Most, as reported by James Searing, claim that he was... in the article, it is not making it clear that (1) Searing does not make a claim about what myth is most common and the language as it stands is also WP:WEASEL; (2) purports to describe the person instead of the myth. I checked [7] which also backed up my concerns, which states that they are describing the myth and not the person.
6. (second usage) Quote is correctly sourced, though I'm concerned that there are too many quotes in this article.
9. Source cited correctly. I'm a little concerned about the construction of this sentence and the next sentence. I think that the significance of who Abu Bakr ibn Umar is and why it is not a credible claim should all be incorporated into the same sentence.
9. (second usage)
11.
14.
16.
18.
24.
27.

MOS issues

In general

Wikilinks are very weirdly done. Several different wikilinks repeat themselves in the body (e.g. Senegal River, Lamane, Serer people, Wolof people, etc) and in some instances, the first wikilink is in the second mention of the term.

Lede

Dating

Don't wikilink years.
Use the circa template.

Family background

arabo-berber affiliations definitely not the way to phrase this in English.a

Legend

Remove the space before the comma.
ruler of the Sine,Maad a Sinig Maysa Wali, — add a space after the comma and remove the before Sine.

Legacy

Don't wikilink folk hero.
Don't wikilink Senegal.