Talk:Nightswimming (Awake)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: TRLIJC19 (talk · contribs) 19:16, 2 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Review

General
There are no disambiguation links.
Great! TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TV-NAME
The name is appropriate, as there is already an article called "Nightswimming".
Great! TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Template:Infobox television episode
I do not think the artist of the song needs to be included here, but I will leave it up to your discretion.
I agree; it should be further expanding upon in the actual article. So, done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It does not appear to be done. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:57, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Whoops; sorry. Its now done. TBran dl ey 05:14, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Everything else is fine.
Cool :) TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVIMAGE
There is no non-free screenshot, so a rationale need not be worried about.
Cool :) TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The two other images are properly licensed.
Yeah :) TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVLEAD
"Written by Leonard Chang and Davey Holmes, "Nightswimming" earned a Nielsen rating of 0.9, being watched by 2.80 million viewers in its initial broadcast." -- "in should be "upon".
I think that is an opinion. Please see Triangle (The X-Files), a recently promoted FA. Don't think there is nothing wrong with it. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I think it was overlooked at the article you listed. "In its initial broadcast" is completely ungrammatical. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:38, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Fair enough. Its done. :) TBran dl ey 04:44, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"In this episode, Michael helps Marcus Ananyev (Elijah Alexander) and his wife Alina (Ayelet Zurer) start a new life in the Witness Protection Program after trying to be killed by mobsters." -- Comma after Witness Protection Program.
Done

The LEAD follows the relevant guidelines.
Awesome! TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVPLOT
"Soon after, Michael talks Captain Tricia Harper (Laura Innes) that Marcus has records on Basayev, while Marcus' wife, Alina (Ayelet Zurer) wonders what is going on, and Marcus tells her; she is mad." -- Very unclear and run-on. Split into two different sentences and rewrite.
Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It does not appear to be done? TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:57, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Oh My God! I am so annoying. It's done now. TBran dl ey 05:17, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Don't worry about it! TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 05:24, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"They take the two to a hotel to live at temporary until the witness relocation plans are finalized." -- "temporary" should be "temporarily".
Done. Unless noted. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"That night, Michael, Vega, and their SWAT team watch the warehouse but no one shows up; Vega wonders if he had got it wrong." -- Link SWAT team, and change "got" to "gotten".

"Back at the station, Bird confirms that Alina has turned off her cell phone and is not suing her credit cards." -- What does "suing her credit cards" mean?
Done and removed. Unless noted. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"As they leave, Greg, who is tied up, kicks down a table in the living room, automatically notifying the cops they that he is in there." -- Remove "they".
Done. Unless noted. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"After, they speak to Greg; he says that Alina constantly talks about how her husband and how they had grown apart." -- Red part of the sentence is improperly worded; rewrite to: "she and her husband have grown apart.".
Done. Unless noted. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Michael calls Marcus and asks him where they met and if there was anywhere where they felt special; Marcus tells him one place at a beach." -- The "where" after "anywhere" should be removed, and the words after that are confusing and unclear.
Done. Unless noted. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The text after "anywhere" is still confusing and unclear. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:57, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Done. TBran dl ey 05:19, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Marcus is nervously pacing when Michael brings Alina back, while in the "red reality", Michael starts packing for Oregon, then, Michael goes to see Jake at his home; the CI says that he sent flowers when Rex died and that all he cared about was smoking the cigars with Michael." -- Extremely long run-on sentence. Split up into maybe three different sentences and reword.
Done. Unless noted. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This section gives a good summary of the episode's plot.
Okay, thanks. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVPRODUCTION
"It was Chang's and Holmes' first writing credit; this entry was directed by executive producer Jeffrey Reiner." -- Improper and awkward; rewrite to: "This entry was Chang's and Holmes' first writing credit, and was directed by executive producer Jeffrey Reiner.".
Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This section feels very short. Is there any other production information you can find?
I'll look. Its hard as there is no DVD commentary, etc. Very hard, but, I'll take a look for web sources, at Google News, regular Google, etc. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Update: I've looked, and can't find anything. I'll keep an eye on it, but for now, there is nothing. Sorry. In fact, this production information is a bit compared to some. TBran dl ey 04:33, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, that's fine; the section still makes use of the sources available. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:57, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVRECEPTION
"Alan Sepinwall, a commentator from HitFix, was disappointed with the overall storyline of the "green reality"; he claimed that if the episode was only based on the "red reality", the entry would have been "perfectly fine", while Zack Handlen from The A.V. Club thought that if the "red reality" storyline was not featured in this installment, it would not work as an episode." -- This is way too long. Split into two different sentences.
I agree. Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Handlen was rather impressed with the storylines of the "red reality", praised the premise of the "red reality"; and gave the episode a "B+", despite critical comments, and wrote that "Jake reminded me of Al Pacino's aging mobster in Donnie Brasco."; Sepinwall praised Jake's actor, Lawrence, liking to see him on the program." -- Run-on and awkward. For example, you say "red reality" twice right next to each other.
Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Preece thought that the storylines of the "red reality" were more "interesting" than the "green reality" storylines, and Fowler was disappointed with the song choice of the installment, claiming that the notable R.E.M. song "Nightswimming" should be been played, rather than the song that was played instead, which was "Pain in My Heart"." -- The "be" should say "have", and the second half of the sentence should be removed; it's a run-on and it's redundant of the information given above.
Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This section gives a broad analysis of the episode.
Great! TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVREFS
FN9 has quotations ( " ) and then an apostrophe ( ' ) in its title; only the apostrophe should be there.
Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not a requirement, but could the reflist be changed to {{reflist|30em}}? It adjusts the reference list so that it fits each browser and resolution in a better way.
Picky. But, I love picky reviews. Great, I've done. I'll also do to the Awake TV series article. Made it 30em. Hope that is better now. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All citation links appear to be intact.
Good. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVEXLINKS
Is there a page for the episode on NBC's official website? If so, add it.
I was told to remove it at an FAC before, as there was a reference to the same link. I figured I'd keep it the same (this also contains a reference to the NBC official website). So, not done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
If it's already cited, that's fine.

The other three look good.
Thanks so much. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:TVCATS
Both existent categories are appropriate, but is there a category such as "NBC television episodes"?
Nope, don't think its needed. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Are you saying no it doesn't exist, or no you won't add it? If it exists, it should be added. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:38, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I doesn't exist. Sorry for making it so hard. :( TBran dl ey 04:41, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It's fine! TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:57, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

WP:LENGTH
The article is 1718 words, which is a "readable prose size" per the relevant guideline.
That is so excellent. Haha, great. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~WP:TALKPAGE~~
This article needs to be tagged under WikiProject Television, and under the episode task force.
Picky, but alright. Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It's not picky at all; every article should be tagged under a relevant WikiProject. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:38, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~Place {{talk header}} at the very top of the page.~~
~~Picky, but alright. Done. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)~~ [reply]
~~This isn't picky either, it is expected for talk pages to have a navigational header. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:38, 11 August 2012 (UTC)~~[reply]

Overall, good job; I am placing this on hold for the above issues to be addressed. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:04, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. I've addressed all of the issues I can for now. TBran dl ey 04:31, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The issues that were not striked still need (further) addressing. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 04:57, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome
[edit]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

With everything having been addressed, this article now fulfills the good article criteria, and is being promoted. Good job to the nominator and other significant contributors. TRLIJC19 (talk • contribs) 05:24, 11 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.