Talk:Northwestern Memorial Hospital/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 05:21, 22 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

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History

Origins

Move the comma from after "reverend" to after "Sr."
Add commas after "In 1888", "In 1897", "In 1924", "In 1925", "In 1954"
Remove comma after "philanthropist"
Remove comma after "mogul"
Move comma in the sentence starting Wesley Memorial Hospital's new hospital from after "institutions" to after "years"
Write out "World War II"
Comma after "Passavant died"
One or two passages in this area are too close to Northwestern's official history, like The process accelerated with the 1966 establishment of the McGaw Medical Center and and over the next thirty years the two institutions, and should be reworded. Generally though Earwig mostly flags organization names.
Citation needed at the end of the sentence starting In 1968. I have newspapers.com access and, if your sources do not have material, would be more than happy to contribute a newspaper clipping if needed.
In 1971 as merger was moving closer, staff from Passavant Memorial and Wesley Memorial gained admitting and hospital privileges at both hospitals in preparation for the upcoming merger. — probably change the start to read In 1971, in preparation for the upcoming merger, staff...

Merger

Remove "the hospitals" from opening sentence to reduce redundancy.
Hyphenate "1,000 bed"
Reverse "the Midwest and the Chicago region" to "the Chicago region and the Midwest"
Remove "the" from "the Northwestern University’s Institute of Psychiatry"
Comma after "in 1994"; this sentence also could use a citation. Also commas after "in the 1980s", "in 2001", "in 2005"
492 all private patient rooms and an emergency department that has the capacity to treat 70,000 patients-per-year — hyphenate "all-private" but not "patients per year"
Consider shuffling sentences/paragraphs for flow and to create longer, less disjointed paragraphs.
Remove comma after "philanthropist". (It's not an appositive, which requires two commas anyway, because you can't remove his name and have the sentence make sense. In 2005, local philanthropist donated... makes a reader ask "who's the philanthropist?")

Modern day

Use a convert template on 947,000 square feet
Reduce redundancy about information on the 2007 Prentice opening
Comma after "In 2011"; should "pavilion" be capitalized in this sentence? Judging by the rest of the paragraph, yes
Do not capitalize "president" when it does not come right before the person's name. "The hospital's first female president" but "in 2015, President Creamer said..."
The Querrey Biomedical square footage should be hyphenated by adding |adj=on to the {{convert}}

About

Comma between "million" and "placing"

Facilities

Several direct links to Northwestern Memorial Hospital included as part of page mergers show up as bolded text and should be delinked

Galter

Consider rewording to sound less like the lead of its own article. (Example at end of section)
Reference 59 in this section is a bare link; use a citation template.

The Galter Pavilion at 675 N. St. Clair St. is named after hospital benefactors Jack and Dollie Galter. It is one of the tallest hospital buildings in the United States and is the twenty-third tallest in the world, nine behind the neighboring and connected Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago.[59] The Galter Pavilion is joined to the hospital's Feinberg Pavilion on the first three floors. The buildings were constructed as the centerpiece of Northwestern Memorial Hospital in 1997 and together contain 2,134,920 square feet (198,341 m²) The Galter Pavilion currently houses a combination of inpatient and outpatient services.

Awards

"top 15 placement" is awkwardly worded.
Red link in "digestive disorders".
"Orthopedics" should use American English spelling.

Notable people

Lists of patients and deaths may be excessive; consider trimming

Other

Use IABot to archive references. (I can assist with this if you like.)
Images are suitably captioned, tagged with appropriate licenses (or PD).

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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@Andrew nyr: The article has a good amount of things to improve. Note particularly the two lifted passages from the NM site, use of commas, and the reference 59 bare link, as well as the handling of units and {{convert}}. The nomination is on hold for 7 days. (Please note that Legobot is not working as of this writing, so you may not get notification of this from the bot as well as this ping.) Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:52, 22 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Sammi Brie, I believe I have fixed all issues listed. Thank you again for the review. Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks, Andrew nyr (talk, contribs) 23:01, 28 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Andrew nyr: I bolstered the history section with a few additional newspaper citations and made a couple other changes, and I think you're good now. One note: {{cvt}} is like {{convert}} but it automatically abbreviates, which isn't often the best thing in running text. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 01:34, 29 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]