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Talk:Pete Thomas (American football)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 12:15, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take a look at this. Harrias talk 12:15, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Early years
  • "He also played outside linebacker.." Nowhere in the body of the article have we established what position he plays before this, so to say "also" is a bit confusing.  Done
  • As with the other articles I've reviewed, please wikilink or explain jargon on first use.
Added links. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 02:32, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "..with an 11–2 record." Explain what this means.  Done
College career
  • "Thomas said that "After Coach.." Neither "After" nor "Coach" should have capital letters.
That's what the direct quote from the source says. Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 02:08, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I've changed "After" myself, but left "Coach". I also sorted out the spelling error: MOS:QUOTE says "trivial spelling and typographic errors should simply be corrected without comment" and "When quoting a complete sentence, it is recommended to keep the first word capitalized unless the quoted passage has been integrated into the surrounding sentence." In this case, you integrated it into the surrounding sentence, so we are fine to drop the first capital. I've left the second, for "Coach" though. Harrias talk 07:20, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Pete was a communication major at NC State." Change "Pete" to "Thomas".  Done
  • The infobox only lists one college, rather than the three in the body, can you fix that?  Done
Professional career
  • Is there any more information about his time with the Minnesota Havok? Did he play for them, fulfil any particular role, anything?
I added a sentence saying the team folded. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 02:06, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • The article then goes straight into talking about the AFL, but doesn't explain what it is (in the body).  Done
  • He was "placed on reassignment by the Storm on February 14, 2017", and then we find out he's a coach. Is he no longer playing then? A bit more narrative would be beneficial here.
Not sure if there is anything to add here. I can't find any sources saying he retired or anything. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 02:16, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article, though dry in places; I'll stick it on hold pending these suggestions. Harrias talk 12:36, 27 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Also note I expanded the lead. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 02:58, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Referencing is all fine; I would prefer the sources to be written out (Colorado State University Athletics rather than csurams.com for ref #1, Denver Post rather than denverpost.com for ref #3, etc.) However, the Good article criteria does not require this, so I can only really mention it as a personal preference. Spotchecks reveal no evidence of copyvio or close para-phrasing. I'm happy to pass the article against the GA criteria now, well done. Harrias talk 07:25, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 01:13, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]