Talk:Poor Folk/GA1
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Reviewer: Tea with toast (talk · contribs) 02:29, 16 October 2012 (UTC)
Issues needing to be addressed
[edit]Hello, I have completed my overview of the article, and have found that there are few things that need to be taken care of before I can pass the article. Thank you for taking care of the citations that I had tagged a few days ago. Here are the other items that need to be taken care of:
- Lead -- I think the first paragraph could be split into 2 paragraphs with the second paragraph focusing more on the plot and themes.
- From what is written in the lead about the plot right now, it just seems like it's about 2 characters who discuss literature. I think the plot summary of the work could be broadened a bit to mention things like poverty and hardships that the characters experience.
- Varvara proposes to Bykov? The plot summary gives that Bykov proposes to Varvara
- Good point, will examine the lead later. Split the paragraph.
- Plot -- There are a few things that need to be clarified here.
- This sentence is a bit confusing: "...the Gorshkovs, whose son dies and who groans in agonizing hunger almost the entire story." I think mostly because of the whose/who thing. Perhaps something along the lines of "...who mourn their sons death and groan in hunger throughout the story..." might be better, but I let you make whatever changes you want
- Who is Fedora? She seems to appear out of nowhere; a brief intro is warranted.
- This sentence doesn't seem to make sense with the amount of information given: "Suddenly, all of the rumors about Varvara marrying a drunk become meaningless in the face of money." Where did these rumors of Varvara marrying a drunk come from? Who is the drunk? Why are the rumors meaningless in the face of money?
- Creation -- I don't think it is necessary to include the currency exchange value; you have already stated his yearly income, and I think that is enough of a comparison.
- Removed
- Themes -- minor details here.
- Try to be consistent in the article with using either "Makar" or "Devushkin", or at least start this section off stating "Makar Devushkin" to make sure the reader has consolidated that they are the same person.
- Done I wrote his full name in the first occassion.
- For the sentence stating from Yakubovich's work, I think it would be easier for the reader to either add a translation of the title or just state "According to Yakubovich's biography of Dostoyevsky..." for simplicity. Some readers freak out when they seen Cyrillic script.
- Done simply removed the name of the book to avoid repetition of Dostoyevsky's name.
- Try to be consistent in the article with using either "Makar" or "Devushkin", or at least start this section off stating "Makar Devushkin" to make sure the reader has consolidated that they are the same person.
That is all. I will place this article on hold until they are taken care of. Thank you for nominating this article. I have enjoyed reading it. Happy Editing! --Tea with toast (話) 22:36, 20 October 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for your comments. I will work on the lead and plot. --Tomcat (7) 18:39, 21 October 2012 (UTC)
- It seems like I performed all changes. Regards.--Tomcat (7) 10:07, 7 November 2012 (UTC)
- Great. I'm not able to take a look at it right now since I'm busy with real life, but I'll be back in about 5-6 days, and I'll be sure to wrap things up then. --Tea with toast (話) 03:29, 8 November 2012 (UTC)
- It seems like I performed all changes. Regards.--Tomcat (7) 10:07, 7 November 2012 (UTC)
- Comments from another editor
- The lede doesn't match the body of the article. It is not a summary of the main points of the article.
- In the lede, what does this mean: "Devushkin, a prototype of the classical clerk found in many works of naturalistic literature at that time, retains his sentimental characteristics;" - is this is in reaction to "Varvara loses her interest in communicating with Devushkin"? - or does this mean that he remains "sentimental" about Varvara after she loses interest in him? Or he remains sentimental about life in general? (The plot section seems to support the former.) Also, Mr. Bykov is never described. (I replaced "brutal" with "rich" as there's no evidence in the article that he was "brutal".) Only in the last paragraph of the "Themes and style" section is he described at all, and that is as "unscrupulous".
- I would say all three suggestions are correct, but the intended one is the former. I did not mention Bykov as he is mentioned at the very end.
- Confusion in "Themes and style" section. In the article it says "Dostoyevsky mixes the parody of the sentimental epistolary novel with the parody of the naturalistic sketch of the clerk". This seems contradictory. In the article there is a discussion about whether this story is a parody, or whether it is a "travesty of the sentimental epistolary love story."[18] Can you clarify this? Thanks, MathewTownsend (talk) 14:25, 9 November 2012 (UTC)
- It is a view by one person. Not sure what to clarify.--Tomcat (7) 16:39, 9 November 2012 (UTC)
- The review is the view of one person. But other views are welcome and that includes mine.
- Is the novel a parody? If so, the elements of parody in the novel should be explained in more detail.
- I added more content regarding this.--Tomcat (7) 13:10, 1 December 2012 (UTC)
- Also, although you say that Bykov is only mentioned at the very end, still he is an important element in the story, as he is the reason (apparently) that "Varvara loses her interest in communicating with Devushkin". And she chooses to marry Bykov (who was described as "brutal" in the lede until I changed that to "rich" since there was no evidence in the article that he was "brutal"). So the reason why this happened is an important dynamic of the plot and needs explaining. Thus the characteristics of Bykov need to be described. MathewTownsend (talk) 01:05, 11 November 2012 (UTC)
- I added what Bykov stands for.--Tomcat (7) 13:10, 1 December 2012 (UTC)
Have Matt's concerns been addressed? They seem to be but want to make sure. Wizardman 00:26, 30 November 2012 (UTC)
Can the last reference be fleshed out i.e. accessdate and the like? Besides that since the above is addressed I'll pass the article. Wizardman 17:25, 1 December 2012 (UTC)