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A good attempt, but the purpose is to describe the image for someone who cannot see the picture. So "A picture of..." doesn't help a lot. Buildings are tough, but for the first image, I would probably go with "A square building with red and white vertical striping along the roof. A banner on the front shows Rosecroft's logo and the statement "Welcome Back Racing Fans!" " Resolute23:28, 23 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Sources look good, references I spot checked supported their claims and indicated no concern with close paraphrasing
Redundant to note twice in the opening paragraph that Miller died in 1954. I would remove the first mention. (in fact, you actually note three times in the opening paragraph that Miller died!)
"Vogel made several mistakes that hurt the horse racing industry in Maryland, and three years later, he was arrested for possession of cocaine, and his company went into bankruptcy" - run-on sentence. Consider rewording
" Rosecroft was then sold to Weisman's Colt Enterprises. In that same year..." - "In that same year" lacks context since you have not identified the year Colt Enterprise bought the facility.
"After filing for bankruptcy once again, Rosecroft Raceway closed down in 2010. Several states legalized casinos to help its racetracks, which increased the purses, handle (daily betting turnover), and attendance, making Rosecroft an unprofitable business." - I am somewhat confused by this. At first blush, I was going to suggest reversing these two sentences, as you appear to place the consequence (track closing) before the cause. However, I don't see how the legalization of casinos, designed to help the tracks, made Rosecroft unprofitable. This needs to be explained better
Better. I realized reading later in the article that Rosecroft struggled because states other than Maryland legalized casinos. I changed "several states" to "nearby states" to reflect this. Feel free to change back if I have changed the intended meaning. Resolute23:28, 23 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Miller family
"William E. Miller—a harness racing Immortal..." - the linked article suggests one can only become an "immortal" after they have died. Consequently, this is anachronistic. Easily fixed by noting he was a "future immortal".
Most of the third paragraph is listed in proseline. Consider changing up the start of a few sentences so they don't all begin with "In year, something happened".
"The year-round racing Rosecroft was awarded lowered the excitement for the locals, and Rosecroft was not capable of attracting a new market, and attendance figures lowered." - run-on sentence
" From the gambling revenue, 7 percent goes to the horse-racing industry, but Rosecroft is only allowed to have up to $1.2 million for a minimum of 40 live-racing days from 2012 to 2015. This is only possible, however, if the owners "agree to rehire workers employed at the facility prior to the end of live racing on June 27, 2008; and recognize collective bargaining agreements that were in place as of June 1, 2008". - Is this passage in the wrong place? It seems to be talking about the present situation under Penn, and not the situation under Cloverleaf. The notations on what Rosecroft is allowed from 2012-2015 is particularly confusing, given the very next statement is that the track closed in 2010.
Looks pretty good, but a few rough edges as noted above. I am placing on hold pending the resolution of these issues. Regards, Resolute21:09, 22 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
b (citations to reliable sources): 