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Talk:Soony Saad/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 13:11, 6 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this one on. Four months is far too long to be waiting and it should be pretty straightforward. I'll get a review up asap. Kosack (talk) 13:11, 6 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Initial review

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Infobox and lead

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• Is Ref 1 (Global Sports Archive) a reliable source? I only ask as it's not a site I'm familiar with.

• From what I can see, it's more typical to use the full name of Major League Soccer on the first use. So the sentence "began his senior career at Sporting Kansas City in the MLS" might be better as "began his career with Major League Soccer side Sporting Kansas City in..."

• "moved to Thailand at BEC Tero Sasana" with rather than at?

• Is there a need for the citizenship links to the US and Lebanon. It seems a bit close to WP:OVERLINK unless there's a genuine need for the link?

  • I don't see why they shouldn't be linked. Each country has its own nationality laws, and it can be useful to understand the different circumstances behind acquiring US citizenship vs Lebanese citizenship. Nehme1499 22:06, 8 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Youth and college career

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• I'm wondering if the first two subsections here (Michigan Wolves and Vardar) may be better off merged. They only amount to four sentences in total, so merging them under a single "early career" heading or similar seems more appropriate perhaps

• "Deaborn" > Dearborn

• "Unable to sign for a club in Europe", was there an issue with him joining, as it sounds like he was denied by circumstances beyond his control at the moment. If he simply didn't earn a deal somewhere, might need rewording to something like "However, he was unable to secure a move..."

Sporting Kansas City

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• "during his 19th birthday", on his 19th birthday perhaps?

Move to Thailand

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• "his side survive relegation", survive relegation sounds a little odd, avoid instead?

Return to the United States

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• "deflected in goal" > into the goal

Ansan Greeners

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• "His first-minute debut came three days later", what's a first-mimute debut?

Al-Wehdat

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• Two of the dates listed here are April 4, I'm guessing one is incorrect.

PT Prachaup

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• What's his current status, was he released by the club? The lead shows him as unattached but there's no mention of him leaving the club here.

Lebanon

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• "With the start, Saad made his international debut", I don't think with the start is necessary here as it reads a little oddly.

That's pretty much all that I can see. The refs are well formatted and a spot check on a few comes back fine for verification. Placing on hold while the points above are addressed. Kosack (talk) 09:50, 7 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Kosack: thank you for the review! I've addressed all of the points above. Nehme1499 22:06, 8 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Happy to promote, all of my concerns addressed. Kosack (talk) 07:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]