Talk:Spear (Griffith novel)/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 16:26, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 23:53, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

A few copy changes. Also, the World Fantasy Awards 2023 have not yet been handed out and won't be for another two months, so it hasn't lost yet. But this is an easy cleanup list. Ping when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:19, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes

Lead

Drawing on Arthurian mythos, the book refashions the story of Percival and the Holy Grail, but makes the character of Percival a woman. The protagonist of Griffiths' version is Peretur, a girl raised alone in the wilderness by her mother, and who develops a magical ability to communicate with animals. She sets out to explore the world dressed as a boy, and seeks to join the service of King Arturus as a knight. At his court she becomes involved with his search for the Holy Grail, and discovers that her own heritage is connected to it. Four User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (CinS) comma removals in four sentences.
So, I think you're correct that those commas aren't necessary. However, I was taught to use them in such cases where the rhythm of the sentence, spoken, required them; and that's more or less what I've done. I don't believe the commas are wrong. I've removed a few instances, but left a couple in, and made alternative tweaks in a couple of places. Vanamonde (Talk) 16:09, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Spear received critical acclaim, particularly for its prose, for its exploration of gender and sexuality and disability, and attention to historical detail. Remove the "for its" before "exploration" to improve the parallelism of the list items.
Done.

Background

She began writing a piece intended to be a short story, but which grew into a much longer work of fiction. Remove comma (CinS)
Done.
Spear uses a setting similar to Hild, being placed in a region corresponding to Northumbria, during a period in which the English were being converted to Christianity. Reads better without the second comma.
Done.
The book draws on Arthurian mythos, but makes the character of Percival a woman. Remove comma (CinS)
Done.

Plot summary

Elen implies that the girl is the daughter of one of the Tuath, and that Elen stole Dagda's Cauldron before fleeing into the wilderness with her daughter. Remove comma (CinS)
See, this is one instance where it feels necessary to me.
Myrrdyn's nephew Should be Myrddyn
Done.
The group rides to Peretur's childhood home, and find that Elen has committed suicide rather than be found by Manandán. Remove comma (CinS)
Done.

Major themes

Peretur journeys away from Elen's myths into the "real world", and then back into they mythic realm of Arthurian mythology. Remove the comma: "the", not "they"
Done.
Peretur's ability in combat stems from an ability to understand animals and men, and thereby anticipate her opponents in battle Remove comma (CinS)
Don't like this without the comma; tried an alternative fix.
A review for Chicago Review of Books by Jake Brookins called the work "Fresh, poetic, and sensuous", and termed it "an instant classic, born of classics."
- Maybe a "the" before Chicago Review of Books? Consider wikilinking the publication.
- No need to capitalize the F in "fresh". If so desired if the original is capitalized, use [f]resh.
- Remove comma after that quote (CinS)
- Period outside of quotations for a sentence fragment (MOS:LOGICAL). This appears once more in this section later.
All done.
Griffiths' or Griffiths's should be Griffith's. There is no S in her last name.
Yeah don't know how that slipped in, I suspect I made/read a typo once and that got lodged in my head as the correct version. Thanks.
Hyphenate 6th-century
Done.

Spot checks

Keep in mind ref numbers got shuffled slightly because I found that one reference to the Tor.com review in actuality should have gone to the Locus review.

1: Review in The New York Times. Y
- only, in Griffith’s telling, Percival is a girl
- An author’s note detailing Griffith’s research, aims and sources is also fascinating. It explains, for instance, that the book came about in response to an invitation to contribute to “Sword Stone Table,” Swapna Krishna and Jenn Northington’s anthology of Arthurian retellings, and it offers a welcome glimpse into the scholarship Griffith brings to her projects.
- As with Griffith’s magnificent novel “Hild,” this is a world built from the ground up with meticulous research, a world where magic and gods are real, but not at the expense of material culture. Griffith’s attention to the care and keeping of weapons and armor, the labor and lives of early medieval common folk, is always precise and never pedantic, the story emerging out of that painstaking work.
2: Tor.com review. Y
- what was intended to be a short story turned out to be much longer
- a bold retelling of something familiar
5: Locus review. Y
- luminous, rhythmic prose
- along with significant genderqueer character development and the refreshingly casual portrayal of disability
- That evidence can still be comparatively scant when looking as far back as 6th-century Wales or 9th-century Iceland – the focus, respectively, of Nicola Griffith’s Spear and Sarah Tolmie’s All the Horses of Iceland
9: I'm reading the World Fantasy Awards page differently. It sounds like the award hasn't been awarded yet and won't be until October 29, so it hasn't lost.
You're right; I looked at Wikipedia's list first, and saw that Babel was listed where the winner would be, but not that it was not appropriately highlighted. Fixed.
11: Spear appears on the Le Guin shortlist. Y
Added.

Earwig finds no textual concerns of CLOP or copyvio.

Images

The cover art has a valid NFUR. Encouragement: Add alt text to the cover art to match the paintings. The paintings are in the public domain with appropriate captions to link them to the book's elements.

@Sammi Brie: All comments responded to, thanks for the review. Vanamonde (Talk) 16:09, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.