Talk:Squatting in Kenya/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Arcahaeoindris (talk · contribs) 22:37, 16 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Give me a bit of time to read through. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 22:37, 16 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking this on! Mujinga (talk) 10:32, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Grammar and spelling are fine, and prose is decent. Lead nicely summarises the rest of the article. Would be nice to have more sections but not essential as other squatting articles seem to follow a similar structure.
The new opening sentence is slightly awkward imo: "During the colonial occupation of Kenya, when it was known as the East Africa Protectorate, indigenous peoples working on farms owned by white settlers were called as "squatters"" - propose to change to "During the colonial occupation of Kenya, indigenous peoples working on farms owned by white settlers were called as "squatters"^{[by whom?]}. Also good to attribute who called them this?
Darn always annoying to rephrase and leave a typo, thanks for spotting it. I've rephrased. Mujinga (talk) 14:16, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
Well sourced and attributed, with a mix of peer-reviewed articles, media and books. Verified R4 and R10.

~~Reference 11 says 350,000 to 1 million inhabitants, not 300,000 as the article says.~~
fixed Mujinga (talk) 10:32, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Reference 15 does not support: "In 2009, the government had evicted an estimated 30,000 families from the Mau forest". It actually says "Security officers this week entered the Mau forest, the country's largest water catchment basin, in the first stage of a government operation that will eventually see up to 30,000 families leave." Please could you modify this?
Yes I see what you mean, fixed Mujinga (talk) 10:32, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Could you please ensure a source is provided for the definition of squatting. This is first sentence of lead, but you could include this in another section and summarise in lead. Source relevant to Kenya would be ideal.
Hmm yes tricky one, that first sentence stemmed from my wish to have a standardised introduction for articles on 'Squatting in X', but other GA reviewers have also picked up on it and moreover it doesn't seem to work here because there was another distinct meaning of "squatter" in the sense of being an indigenous person paid to work on a farm. So I've removed that sentence and rephrased, see what you think Mujinga (talk) 10:59, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
As someone not very familiar with Kenya, some of the topics could be explained a bit more broadly. For example, what is the Olenguruone crisis, why and how did squatters come into conflict with conservationists, and what is Kaffir farming, and how/why are these relevant? Imagine someone who knows nothing about this subject can understand this and be informed.
Yes it's difficult knowing how much to summarise on these points:

The Olenguruone crisis is one of the final flashpoints when the government tried to exert control over Kikuyu squatters and the result of these tensions boiling over was the Mau Mau rebellion. It's quite a complicated story and it's hard to know how much to say here and how much to leave to Mau Mau rebellion.

already added some more details on squatters vs conservationists

On Kaffir farming, I already say " so-called Kaffir farming, in which labourers paid the settlers to use their land" so I'm not sure if more is needed ... and on reflection on the colonial basis of the term and with reference to Kaffir (racial term) I thought it best to remove the word Kaffir. I'm not 100% sure Kaffir has the same meaning in Kenya as South Africa, but it does have the same colonial root and isn't really necessary to use here Mujinga (talk) 11:35, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Reads much better now, thanks for responding.Arcahaeoindris (talk) 09:32, 18 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

~~In 21st-century, there seems to be a bit of a gap between people being evicted en masse and the President promising land title. Did something change? The flow of events could be a bit clearer here.~~
Yes it's a general trend pushed by UNHABITAT to regularise informal settlements and targets never seem to be met. I've added a sentence to show that this has been going on for the last decades Mujinga (talk) 10:32, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

~~When was this promise made, and are there any updates on this: President Uhuru Kenyatta pledged to give two thirds of all Kenyans title to their land by 2022~~
I've updated with some 2022 news here Mujinga (talk) 13:44, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Attribution is given to opinions and Wikivoice is used. Nicely done.
Please check this sentence: "white settlers took the best land such as the fertile so-called White Highlands" - this may not be WP:NPOV. Perhaps remove the terms "so-called" and "best" land, unless you clearly attribute whose views these are. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 09:29, 18 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Yes it's complicated here, I've rejigged and added some more cited info Mujinga (talk) 14:14, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
The map of slums in Kenya is fine, but are there any more illustrative images of this topic than just a map of the country?
Lots of Kibera for example, so I've added one Mujinga (talk) 10:37, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Great, looks good. Not essential for passing, but I reckon you could include another picture in the "History" section - doesn't necessarily have to be of squatting itself, it could be e.g. an image of Rift Valley, White Highlands, Mau Mau Rebellion. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 09:27, 18 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I added a pic of a Kikuyu woman Mujinga (talk) 14:15, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Mujinga: Looks great, but could you please edit the caption so it is clear the Kikuyu woman is a mural/painting? Captions also could be a bit more descriptive and summarise content from body of text (e.g. "Map of slums in Nairobi, which was found to be the location of X% of the city's population [source])). Cheers!
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

A more general thing - please check your links and consider if more could be added. White Settlers is a horror film and not relevant - change this to link to White Kenyans maybe? You could also link to Kenya in World War II, Coffee production in Kenya and Colonial occupation, and maybe other articles, to help guide the reader. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 22:57, 16 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

On links:

Good spot! White Settlers now goes to White_people_in_Kenya#History

Thanks wasn't aware of Kenya in World War II, added

East Africa Protectorate added on colonial occupation

Coffee production in Kenya added and also Tea production in Kenya Mujinga (talk) 10:46, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

added List_of_Indigenous_peoples#African_Great_Lakes Mujinga (talk) 11:00, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

added Water scarcity in Kenya and Deforestation in Kenya Mujinga (talk) 11:49, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

added Kenya Wildlife Service Mujinga (talk) 11:59, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

added Jomo Kenyatta,Prime Minister of Kenya, President Mujinga (talk) 13:35, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Arcahaeoindris - thanks for the careful review, the article has definitely been improved. Please let me know if there's anything else to be done Mujinga (talk) 13:43, 17 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Mujinga: thanks for your work on this, have made a few more suggestions above. Thanks for writing about this topic. It's looking pretty good. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 09:36, 18 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Very helpful suggestions, it's enjoyable looking into this with you. I've added some more info as mentioned above and had a lot of fun with the convert template. Making the 2022 update on the land titling enabled me to find out the National Land Titling Programme was founded in 2013; seems like the process is generally ongoing and its completion will probably depend on the importance given to it by the new president William Rutom, but that's just speculation on my part at this stage. Mujinga (talk) 14:25, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Great work! Great to have a good writer improving an article on this interesting and perhaps underappreciated topic. Just one more point about captions and then I am happy to pass this. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 16:21, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I've added more details to the images - first time round I didn't notice Akseli Gallen-Kallela was notable. I haven't added the "which was found to be the location of X% of the city's population [source]" suggestion because the statistic is about informal settlements and the map is of slums - the two things are often the same but not always, so I don't want to confuse matters. Hope that's ok! Mujinga (talk) 17:46, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Nice one! This is good to go. Passed. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 18:40, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! Mujinga (talk) 22:48, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]