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Talk:Supercell (band)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 18:39, 6 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 18:39, 6 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't see anything major on a first read, will look more closely tomorrow. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:37, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the delay. Here are my concerns:

  • "Nico Nico Douga since he liked the website along with its response system." would you be able to clarify what you mean by response system?
  • "The single features Hatsune Miku as the vocalist, and Ryo composed "Kotchi Muite Baby", while Livetune composed "Yellow"." Could this be reworded a bit? The sentence seems to be combining passive and active voice, and doesn't sound completely right to me.
  • "The full version of the song was released by Sony Music on their website on November 30, 2010 for trial listening." cite preferred, but beyond that, what does trial listening men in this case, i.e. is just a clip of it on, or what it up for a limited time?
  • "Ryo found it difficult at first with writing "tenderhearted" lyric" at first to write sounds a bit better.

All in all, the prose gets a bit on the dry side at times (much of it is just something being released on date with x proving vocals or y providing music), but it's good enough to be a GA. I'll put the article on hold and pass when the issues are fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:53, 10 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]