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Talk:Through Being Cool/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 09:47, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Info box
  • Artwork needs an alt= caption
  • Use a {{hlist|}} for the genres so it makes them have a bullet point to separate them instead of a comma
  • Why do these genres have citations? They should be sourced in the article, not here
  • Remove 'at', the city and state from the recorded parameter
Lead
  • (stylized as "Through Being Cool") → Is quotations really a stylisation?
  • Moving from a → Not very encyclopaedic
  • at Trax East, → Presumably this is a studio
  • were "intense". → Quotations in the lead need a citation
  • to tour alongside Snapcase, New Found Glory, Hot Water Music and Face to Face, → What are thesE?
  • music video was made → was filmed
  • ", which the band later regretted. It was directed by Darren Doan. → This doesn't really flow
  • signed to Vagrant. → Which is what?
  • front-to-back on tour → What is a front to back tour?
  • repressed → I think you mean re-pressed. Repressed means to hold something back inside you, like repressed anger.
  • considers it "the most important record that we did". → Needs a citation; also, just lumping this fact here makes it read boring
Background
  • Link Saves the Day
  • Saves the Day formed in late 1997, their debut album, Can't Slow Down, was released with Equal Vision in August 1998. → Poor structure of clauses
  • played, drummer → Needs to be connected better than with a comma as the complete sentences reads jilted
  • touring Can't Slow Down, → You don't tour an album
  • members left. → Remove left; previous phrasing is indicative of this
  • and hung around → Too informal
Composition
  • All the lyrics → All of the lyrics
  • All the music → All of the music (complete sentence)
  • The band would stay over at → Where?
  • a handful of → Use a different word
  • This is where the genres should be listed and cited, and not cited in the info box
Recording
  • I feel like this should go after Background, because you talk about the composition and then the recording. It's not chronological
  • 11 days – nine full days and two half-days. → This isn't very clear. It was either 11 or 11 and a half.
  • You've linked engineering and mastering but not mixing?
Artwork
  • Photography was done → This doesn't sound right.
Release and touring
  • Sometime during February, → In February
  • After all this touring, → This sounds fan-written
Track listing
  • Why haven't you use a proper track listing table like all other GAN albums do? It's pretty standard.
References
  • I don't think refs 2 and 3 are reliable.
Outcome

I don't think this article is a Good Article standard. The whole article has a bit of a fan-written feel to it, and the language is quite often not very good. It's not a very cohesive article and I think there are issues with the structure of it. If by doing what I've suggested above, I still don't think it is good enough to pass. It lacks flow. I'm failing this article I'm afraid.  — Calvin999 15:06, 24 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]