Talk:Tropical Storm Hernan (2020)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Hurricane Noah (talk · contribs) 11:51, 20 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Actually, I will start this and immediately place it on hold until it is ready to be reviewed per recommendation off-wiki. However, that means I can't make major changes to the article. Please see the talkpage for links for sources. Take as long as you need to fix up the article and then the review can commence here. Consider the article on hold indefinitely.Noah^Talk 11:51, 20 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Lead

Why are there refs throughout the lead? We usually don't source things that are in the body already. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, sorry, I'll relocate them. JoeMT615 (talk) 12:55, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Link Tropical cyclone on its first occurrence. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

below-average Unsourced and not really needed. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Removed) JoeMT615 (talk) 12:55, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

thirteenth tropical cyclone and eighth named storm of the ~~below-average~~ 2020 Pacific hurricane season, Add an EPAC HURDAT template at the end as a source. Split this sentence off to say something like "Hernan was the thirteenth tropical cyclone and eighth named storm of the 2020 Pacific hurricane season". Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'm having trouble finding the database info updated from last year, could you help on that? JoeMT615 (talk) 12:55, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

It won't update until all the 2020 storms have been revised. I would just go ahead and add it so it is there. Noah^Talk 20:34, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Gotcha, added existing one.

Done JoeMT615 (talk) 02:39, 14 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

On named storm, link tropical cyclone naming. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Hernan developed from a low-pressure area southwest of Mexico on August 26 as Tropical Depression Thirteen-E. --> "A tropical depression formed from a low-pressure area that was located southwest of Mexico on August 26" Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Actually, upon inspection of the TCR during the met review, it never was a tropical depression, so the above should state a tropical storm instead of a tropical depression. Please remove anything related to it later developing into a tropical storm. Noah^Talk 22:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done; I did keep mention of Thirteen-E forming in the met history but made it clear that was an operational error and it was already a tropical storm. JoeMT615 (talk) 12:55, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Link low-pressure area. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
~~twelve hours after formation. --> 12 hours later. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)~~[reply]

Done

Located within a high wind shear environment, Hernan barely strengthened and achieved peak intensity at 3:00 UTC on August 27 with 45 mph winds and a minimum barometric pressure of 1001 millibars. I'm going to have this split off into two sentences since there is a lot here. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

"A high wind shear environment hindered the intensification of the system." Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Link Wind shear#Vertical component Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Hernan peaked around 06:00 UTC on August 27 with winds of 45 mph (75 km/h) and a pressure of 1,001 mbar (29.6 inHg). Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Make sure to link Coordinated Universal Time and include metric units for our non-United States friends. Also, inches of mercury should be included for pressure. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Passing just offshore Mexico Could you be a bit more specific? Like a state? Mexico is a big place. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

and made landfall on the Baja California Peninsula on August 28, dissipating shortly thereafter It didn't make any landfalls. It did dissipate on August 28 though. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

What direction(s) was it traveling in during the two days prior? Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done (Added generally north, since it turned from northeast to north) JoeMT615 (talk) 12:55, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Although Hernan was located in very close proximity to Southwestern Mexico, its small size prevented the issuance of tropical storm watches or warnings in nearby coastal areas. This is WP:OR and making assumptions as to why the warnings were not issued. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

To be fair, the NHC did state in Hernan's discussions that they didn't issue warnings because of its small size. Should I link that? JoeMT615 (talk) 12:55, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

What's OR is prevented. I would eliminate the whole thing since the TCR states they should have issued TS warnings for other portions of the coast in retrospect. Noah^Talk 20:34, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done, fair enough. I'll simply put in the impact section that no prior warnings were issued by the NHC to avoid OR. JoeMT615 (talk) 02:39, 14 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Despite Hernan's short existence, it dropped between 5-9 inches of rainfall across six states of western Mexico. It would be better to highlight the much larger amounts I provided in that rainfall map (in a general manner of course). Make sure to use the en dash (–) for ranges rather than a hyphen (-). Use the conversion template to convert to millimeters and make sure to add abbr=on for abbreviations. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

there were homes and streets damaged and covered in mud --> homes and streets were damaged and covered in mud. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Nearly 20,000 people and over 600 homes and nine schools were affected by the storm in Jalisco. Affected is a very vague term that can mean just about anything. Is there a more specific one? Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Jalisco officials reported a fatality when a man fell off his roof checking damages from Hernan. --> In Jalisco, a man fell off his roof and died while inspecting it for damage following the storm. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

It was reported that Cut this part out. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Its effects in other Mexican states varied in severity. Much too little detail as this could range from leaves ripped off trees to flooded buildings and damaged rooves. Noah^Talk 21:16, 3 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I just broke it off there, felt like the record Hernan set was a good place to leave off at. JoeMT615 (talk) 12:55, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

a high wind shear environment hindered the system. Hernan barely strengthened I would move the strenthening part to the previous sentence to make it clear what the wind shear hindered. Then just say Hernan peaked with X. Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Passing just offshore the state of Jalisco, Hernan turned west and degenerated to a remnant low on August 28, passing near the Baja California Peninsula a couple hours later and dissipating shortly thereafter. I dont like two passings in the same sentence. Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed

Despite Hernan's short existence, it dropped over 11 inches across many areas of southwestern Mexico, with accumulation peaking at 23.24 inches in Jalisco. 11 inches of what? Metric conversions? Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
had to be shut down --> were shut down Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed; sorry, don't know how I missed that. Jay Tee🐦 20:32, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

were damaged ~~as well~~ and covered in mud it works better without the "as well". Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Nearly 20,000 people and over 600 homes and nine schools --> Nearly 20,000 people, over 600 homes, and nine schools Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
A man in the state In that state, a man... Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hernan broke the record for the largest 24-hour accumulation of rainfall ~~on record~~ in Jalicso remove the struck part. Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done

475.8 liters (16.2 cubic feet) Add "disp=flip" to the conversion template. Noah^Talk 13:00, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

How would I type that one? Jay Tee🐦 20:32, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Meteorological history

The NHC first noted the potential What's the NHC? You need to state National Hurricane Center (NHC) on its first occurrence and link it. Noah^Talk 21:00, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
area of low pressure Link to low-pressure area. Noah^Talk 21:00, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
form off the coast of Mexico on August 17 Which coast? Was the NHC stating the storm was going to form on August 17 or did they first begin issuing forecasts for future development on that date? Noah^Talk 21:00, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
from the area Superfluous. Noah^Talk 21:00, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
its formation chances ~~were~~ gradually increased ~~by the NHC~~, and on August 20, a broad area of low pressure developed Genevieve or the system? I would remove the struck text as it is important to tell the story of the storm, not the agency. Where did said system develop? Noah^Talk 21:00, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The disturbance at first showed little signs of development because of its large size and easterly wind shear; it only began to show signs of organized convection on August 24. I would say something like: "Easterly wind shear and the disturbance's large size inhibited its development initially; atmospheric convection began to increase on August 24". Make sure to link wind shear#vertical component and atmospheric convection. Noah^Talk 21:00, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
It may be worth mentioning the Madden-Julian Oscillation and the monsoon trough from the TCR. Noah^Talk 22:54, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Finally, at 9:00 UTC on August 26, the system had enough well defined deep convection just west of the center to be designated as a tropical depression, the season's thirteenth. It never was a tropical depression according to the TCR. Make sure times match up to what the TCR has. You also need to vary verbiage a bit as you appear to be paraphrasing too close to the source. Noah^Talk 23:20, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I believe the TCR mentions how far the storm was from Cabo Corrientes and direction when it formed. Please add that in. Make sure to convert from nautical miles to statute miles and kilometers. Noah^Talk 23:20, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
However, it was discovered in post-season analysis that the storm was already producing tropical-storm-force winds at that time. This is not of much importance as changes like this happen frequently. We write the articles based upon what the TCR has and only note post-season changes if they are of major importance. Noah^Talk 22:54, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The NHC noted the system was facing strong easterly wind shear, was located on the eastern side of a broad monsoon gyre, and was slightly elongated from northeast to southwest. Lots of issues with this sentence. You are trying to cram too much information into it. You need to split these off. None of this is supported in the source you have there (discussion 3). It is supported by discussion 1 however. Noah^Talk 22:54, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This still isnt done. Noah^Talk 13:11, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
~~The NHC noted~~ the system was facing strong easterly wind shear Same thing as the sentences above... the storm, not the agency. Also, the tone is unencyclopedic here with facing. You should be able to combine the shear portion and the elongation bit to make one sentence. Noah^Talk 22:54, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Not done yet. Noah^Talk 13:11, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, finally got it

Done. Jay Tee🐦 18:38, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

You should use the monsoon portion you mention here and combine it with what the TCR says about the westerly flow (associated with the gyre/trough) steering the cyclone eastward at genesis and later northward. Noah^Talk 22:54, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Not done yet. Noah^Talk 13:11, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Also finally

Done. Jay Tee🐦 18:38, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Nevertheless, despite the system's poor satellite presentation, tropical storm-force winds were detected to its southwest, and the system was upgraded a tropical storm, receiving the name Hernan This is rather moot since the NHC found the storm to have already been a TS before that time. Noah^Talk 23:20, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
A strong burst of convection developed southwest of Hernan's center, and it intensified slightly, reaching its peak intensity with 45 mph winds and a minimum barometric pressure of 1,001 millibars early on August 27 The bolded portion is not supported by the TCR, but discussion 5 supports it. Your text here is too close to the source again. Too much info in one sentence. I would say something like "Cloud tops south and west Hernan's center cooled to −117 to −123 °F (−83 to −86 °C) as convection increased, allowing the cyclone to strengthen slightly. Hernan peaked at 06:00 UTC on August 27 with maximum sustained winds of 45 mph and a minimum barometric pressure of 1,001 mbar." Noah^Talk 23:20, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For the italics on my correction, please convert mph to km/h for our metric friends. Convert the millibars to inches of mercury using the conversion template. Noah^Talk 23:20, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hernan remained strongly sheared as it moved northeast and then northward, This is rather late. The TCR shows it moving north-northwestward after the peak. I would mention the very close proximity to Cabo Corrientes and Las Islas Marias with the directional change I mentioned. Noah^Talk 23:20, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hernan remained strongly sheared as it moved northeast and then northward, with most of its convection confined to the south and west of its center, causing it to weaken back to a minimal storm. This can be more concise and less towards the source. --> "Continuous wind shear caused Hernan to weaken, restricting convection to the southern and western confines of the storm's center." Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hernan managed to retain a well-defined center and tropical-storm-force winds until 6:00 UTC on August 28 this is mostly copied directly from the TCR with some differences that change the meaning of the text. I would remove this entirely. Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Around this time, Hernan moved over the Gulf of California and turned west, with most of its convection dissipating, and the system was downgraded to a tropical depression at 12:00 UTC the same day. Too much for one sentence and this lacks some explanation. Split the directional change and the decay/downgrade into two sentences. Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Around this time, Hernan moved over the Gulf of California and turned west Why did it turn west? Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
with most of its convection dissipating, and the system was downgraded to a tropical depression at 12:00 UTC the same day. This portion should become its own sentence and be fixed up according to prior corrections. Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hernan degenerated into a broad low pressure area Too close to the source. You should be using the TCR for this portion anyways. Say something like "Hernan weakened a remnant low six hours later." Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
and crossed the coast line of Baja California Sur shortly afterward. This never happened. Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The remnants of Hernan continued moving around a broad monsoonal circulation that contained Tropical Storm Iselle, which absorbed Hernan's remnants by 00:00 UTC on August 29. Too close to the source. Please change the wording so that is different from that of the source. Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Last thing is that this needs to be split into two paragraphs. Noah^Talk 23:40, 4 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Done with all of them JoeMT615 (talk) 18:05, 13 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
9:00 UTC Should be 06:00 and there needs to be a link to coordinated universal time. Noah^Talk 13:11, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:42, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Tropical Storm Iselle to the south --> Tropical Storm Iselle, which was located to the south. Noah^Talk 13:11, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:42, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Impact

(although the agency did note post-season that warnings should've been issued) Not worth mentioning this part in the article. Also, it is factually incorrect to say "by the NHC" with the warnings. The NHC can't issue warnings outside the United States. I would just delete that tidbit as well. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done and fixed. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The name Hernan was respelled as the more common Hernán in most Mexican news reports.[11] This is trivial and happens with almost every storm. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done and removed. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Links for federal highways. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The impact overall still seems rather small/vague in some areas given the claims mentioned. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Honestly, I looked as far as I could, but I think the fact of the matter is that Hernan affected a lot of remote coastal communities, and cities saw less impact, which explains why there wasn't as significant coverage as there would've been if Hernan was stronger and brought more serious impact to well-built urban areas as opposed to the shabby rural parts of Mexico.. Plus, I feel the article could use some pictures to better convey what words did, as there are many that demonstrated Hernan's impact and destruction. I found some from Jalisco's government, would those be available for free use, like the NHC's, or do you think they'd be copyrighted? Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Mexico copyrights all its content. Noah^Talk 20:25, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Jalisco

"high risk" Why is this in quotation marks? Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Since it's a term specifically used by the SMN. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

It was reported that at least 19,968 people were affected by Hernan in the state. Affected could mean a lot of things. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done and re-worded to be more specific. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

due to the tropical storm You can cut this out. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

250 homes affected, while the southeastern municipality La Huerta experienced 228 affected homes Again, affected is too vague. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done and re-worded again Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Add "Disp=flip" to every conversion template where metric is listed first. Check for this in other sections too. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

In braces, brackets, or some other form? Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

two meters Conversion? Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

liters of water Conversion for whatever 1 liter is? Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For that many people it was probably thousands of liters, so I could put gallons in parentheses, but that seems off to me. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Colima

considered to be delete this. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Many homes, businesses, and streets were covered in mud Many is quite vague. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done and replaced to make more specific. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This seems to be quite small and vague for the worst-hit municipality. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good point, that may have just been a writer's opinion. If anything, from my research, Jalisco and its coastal municipalities was definitely harder hit. Will delete. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Guerrero

You never say what the ITCZ is. It should be linked and not abbreviated for the first usage. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

A total of 211 people were evacuated to six shelters. Unsourced. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done and fixed. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Elsewhere

Links for turtle species. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The state of Sinaloa reported "intense punctual rains",[32] and flooding, hail, minor mudslides, and debris were reported in the south of the state, in addition to that reported in other western Mexican states This is rather clunky. Noah^Talk 13:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done and adjusted. Jay Tee🐦 23:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Aside from my question about pictures, is there anything else needed to be done for a pass, Noah? Jay Tee🐦 20:23, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@JayTee32: Sorry, I have been taking a look at Tropical Cyclone, which is about to be FARCed, to find what I can fix up now. The additional comments I left for the lead are unresolved. In addition, two other things of note below. Noah^Talk 20:30, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I understand, just wanted to check. And

Fixed those just a minute ago, I noticed after I typed the previous message. Jay Tee🐦 20:51, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

southeastern municipality La Huerta of La Huerta. Noah^Talk 20:30, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 20:51, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

You still need to flip the display for conversions so the US units are listed first. It has to be consistent throughout the article. Noah^Talk 20:30, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jay Tee🐦 20:51, 19 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]