Template:Did you know nominations/Frank Philipp Schlößmann

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:36, 9 November 2019 (UTC)

Frank Philipp Schlößmann

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... that Frank Philipp Schlößmann designed the stage for Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen at the Bayreuth Festival in 2006, and created a large ring illuminated in changing colours framing the stage for the same work in Minden? Source: [1] (Bayreuth) [2] Minden pictured

Reviewed: Union Literary Institute

Created by Gerda Arendt (talk). Self-nominated at 19:38, 13 October 2019 (UTC).

Hi Gerda Arendt, review follows: article is new (created 10 October) and appears to be reliably sourced. I have a few relatively minor comments with the writing:

"He worked for the Royal Opera House in London, in Dublin, at the Volksoper in Vienna, in Amsterdam, Antwerpen, Hamburg, the operas of Berlin (Staatsoper, Deutsche Oper and Komische Oper), in Cologne, Leipzig, the Semperoper in Dresden, for the Bavarian State Opera, the Deutsche Oper am Rhein, in Strasbourg, Bologna and Catania, at La Fenice in Venice and the Liceu in Barcelona, in Oslo, Helsinki and Basel." is an absolutely massive sentence. Can it be split and/or reworded as less of a list, perhaps with some commentary? There are shorter but similar, "listy" sentences later in the article. Is there some additional comment we can add to break them up a bit?
"Antwerpen" should be "Antwerp" in English Wikipedia
In the second paragraph of "Career" all sentences begin with "He", can they be reworded?
Perhaps also take a look at the last paragraph: there is a run of 4/5 sentences starting with "He", can they be reworded?

I enjoyed reading this article (despite having little to no interest in opera) and would love to find out more about Schlößmann's designs for different performances. Is it possible to add anything further? The hook is interesting but too long (226 characters), can it be shortened by omitting the Bayreuth festival part and focusing on his work at Minden? Hook facts are in article, AGF on German-language sourcing (my German is regrettably very poor). Would be great to see this article developed a little further and on DYK - Dumelow (talk) 07:51, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

I felt like improving four articles of people who recently died, and had no time for this, sorry. Concert and guests also, - please be patient. --

Hi Gerda Arendt. No problem, take as long as you need. Ping me when you're done and I'll come back to finish the review - Dumelow (talk) 20:55, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Finally back to this. I agree that these lists are boring, but that's what the sources give us. I'll try to break it a bit now. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:42, 5 November 2019 (UTC)

Dumelow, please look agai, I tried. More reviews could be inserted ... but I'm on vacation, and behind with other things as well. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:11, 5 November 2019 (UTC)

Hi Gerda Arendt, looks fine to me now. Just need a shorter hook and I think we are good to go - Dumelow (talk) 16:53, 5 November 2019 (UTC)

ALT1: ... that Frank Philipp Schlößmann designed the stage for Wagner's Ring Cycle in Bayreuth in 2006, and created a large illuminated ring framing the stage for the same work in Minden? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 17:33, 5 November 2019 (UTC)

Works for me - Dumelow (talk) 15:56, 6 November 2019 (UTC)