Template:Did you know nominations/Shanu Lahiri

The following is an archived discussion of Shanu Lahiri's DYK nomination. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page; such as this archived nomination"s (talk) page, the nominated article's (talk) page, or the Did you know (talk) page. Unless there is consensus to re-open the archived discussion here. No further edits should be made to this page. See the talk page guidelines for (more) information.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 19:42, 20 March 2013 (UTC).

Shanu Lahiri

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... ~~that Shanu Lahiri was Kolkata's first woman of public art?~~

ALT1 "... that Shanu Lahiri promoted graffiti art drives to beautify Kolkata?"

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Voynuks

Created/expanded by Titodutta (talk), Ekabhishek (talk). Nominated by Titodutta (talk) at 18:55, 15 March 2013 (UTC).

- The article meets all of the DYK criteria except for the problem of close paraphrasing. The phrase "first woman of public art," which you have in your introduction, is not a standard English phrase. It's a close paraphrase of the article, which says "first lady of public art." I would suggest you change the wording in the article and in the hook to "first lady of public art" in quotation marks. I would also suggest changing the hook itself- Wikipedia discourages "that X is Y" hooks because they're not very interesting. Maybe you could do "... that Shanu Lahiri promoted graffiti art drives to beautify Kolkata?" The idea of graffiti as a tool for beautifying things is interesting. Nadhika99 (talk) 03:26, 20 March 2013 (UTC)

I have changed wording to "she was first woman public artist" and ALT1 looks good! --Tito Dutta (contact) 04:55, 20 March 2013 (UTC)
- - I don't think the phrase "Kolkata's first woman public artist" means the same thing as "the city's first lady of public art," which is what your source says. The source means that she is the most prominent female public artist, while your phrase means that she was the first female in Kolkata to create public art. If you don't want to quote the article directly and avoid paraphrase issues, how about "Kolkata's most prominent female public artist"? - Nadhika99 (talk) 05:16, 20 March 2013 (UTC)
  - I have made similar changes! --Tito Dutta (contact) 05:23, 20 March 2013 (UTC)
    - - I edited two words to make your phrase grammatically correct, so it looks DYK ready now! - Nadhika99 (talk) 05:31, 20 March 2013 (UTC)