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Template:Did you know nominations/Talking Heads (Body of Proof)

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 05:21, 11 July 2012 (UTC)

Talking Heads (Body of Proof)

[edit]

Created/expanded by M.Mario (talk). Self nom at 17:12, 21 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Needs more in-line references. There is at least one existing in-line reference that links to another Wikipedia article, please find and alternative. Gaius Cornelius (talk) 16:48, 22 June 2012 (UTC)
ALT1 - that Body of Proof episode "Talking Heads" which received positive reviews and stars Dana Delany, featured Kelly AuCoin as the episode's murderer? —M.Mario (talk) 17:03, 22 June 2012 (UTC)
Note that the original hook is over the maximum length at 218 characters, and therefore can't be used. I've corrected a couple of typos in ALT1, but I think it needs work: "received positive reviews" is not interesting. BlueMoonset (talk) 22:20, 25 June 2012 (UTC)
Maybe remove the positive reviews part? And add, ... Talking Heads, which stars Dana Delany, was described as "fascinating" and featured Kelly Aucoin... — M.Mario (T/C) 16:07, 26 June 2012 (UTC)
ALT2 - that Body of Proof episode "Talking Heads" was directed by Christine Moore and featured guest star Kelly AuCoin as the episode's murderer?
Generally, directors and stars or guest stars do not make for an interesting hook. You need an odd juxtaposition or fact to intrigue the reader. This is a possibility, if a bit gruesome, since the body wasn't dismembered by the murderer (I don't think including AuCoin would be useful):
Pulling ALT3 with apologies: I realize now that it's not enough of a real-world connection as is required for hooks on articles about a fictional episode or show or character. Let's try ALT4 instead:
Agreed; changed a little though.
*ALT4a: ... that the guest performances in the Body of Proof episode "Talking Heads" of Kathy Searle and Kelly AuCoin, who played the murderer, were both praised? — M.Mario (T/C) 19:23, 2 July 2012 (UTC)
Mario, I've restored my ALT4 and put your changes in as ALT4a, since yours were major changes, not little ones. The whole point I was trying to make is that the who-does-what type of hook is basically uninteresting, and put in what I felt would pique the reader's interest—dismemberment and murder and it not being by the same person—which you pulled right out again. That's your prerogative, though I recommend against it, and there's a chance the reviewer may well find your hook dull and refuse to pass it without improvements. BlueMoonset (talk) 19:48, 2 July 2012 (UTC)
  • Need reviewer now that hook is settled. BlueMoonset (talk) 04:27, 3 July 2012 (UTC)
    Hook is a little complex to read but everything checks out. Toa Nidhiki05 18:18, 10 July 2012 (UTC)