Template:Did you know nominations/Thomas Lyle Williams
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 00:25, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
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Thomas Lyle Williams
[edit]... that Thomas Lyle Williams started producing Maybelline in 1917, the first mascara in the United States, and named after his sister Mabel?Source: The Maybelline Story: And the Spirited Family Dynasty Behind It by Sharrie Williams ([1])- ALT1:... that Thomas Lyle Williams had the idea to create the first mascara, Maybelline, after seeing his sister Mabel use a mix of petroleum jelly and burnt cork to darken her eyelashes? Source: The Maybelline Story: And the Spirited Family Dynasty Behind It by Sharrie Williams ([2])
Created by Elisa.rolle (talk). Self-nominated at 22:49, 30 July 2017 (UTC).
- QPQ above
Article was created on July 28, 2017, when the DYK nomination was created. Article is long enough, sourced, neutral and without copyright issues. The ALT 1 hook should be used, as it is the catchier of the two (also passes all requirements). QPQ done. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 00:06, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
Returned from prep. I do not see any fact from these sentences in the source given: In 1917 Williams started producing eyebrow beautifier and cake eyelash, calling the product Maybelline, inspired by his sister Mabel. Maybelline was the first mascara produced in America and credited its success to its affordable price. This affects the verification of the hook fact. Also, it is not enough to switch around words in a sentence and say it is not close paraphrasing; I switched them back and put quotes around "burnt cork and petroleum jelly". This will also affect the hook wording if these words are used. In future, please change "google.it" to "google.com" in all your citations. It makes it easier for reviewers to check them without facing instructions in Italian. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 22:00, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
the info are in the main source provided "The Maybelline Story: And the Spirited Family Dynasty Behind It by Sharrie Williams" if you search, for example, "eyebrow beautifier" you find it here [3]. Most of the info are from this book, and if you go to the main article Maybelline, they link this page [4] but again, the info on that page are from the book I provided. Nevertheless the info on this page are "In 1915, Tom Lyle watched his sister Mabel fix her singed eyebrows using a mixture of Vaseline, ash and coal dust, a trick she apparently got from ‘Photoplay’ magazine. Seeing an opportunity for a product to sell through his mail-order business he used a chemistry set to produce a mixture containing petrolatum (Vaseline), carbon black, cottonseed oil, and safflower oil that he hoped he could sell. " and later on "in an attempt to improve sales, Maybelline introduced a ten-cent trial ‘purse size’ product that could be ordered using a mail-order coupon. " and so on. All the info in the article are sourced from the Sharrie Williams's book, but you can read them mostly also on the webpage. This source: Snodgrass, Mary Ellen (2015). World Clothing and Fashion: An Encyclopedia of History, Culture, and Social Influence. Routledge. p. 427. ISBN 978-1-317-45166-2. was provided since it states again that Williams started producing the mascare in 1917.Elisa.rolle (talk) 22:18, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
OK, thank you. I see the whole write-up in The Maybelline Story and removed the quotes and the order of the ingredients. However, in checking the hook fact, I notice that you're quoting from all over The Maybelline Story book. Could you use shortened footnotes so the reference will have just a page number and the book will be formatted below in a Sources or Bibliography section? (See how I did that on The Potters (artists group).) Yoninah (talk) 23:00, 22 August 2017 (UTC)
- done but I have the Kindle so I put the chapters. Elisa.rolle (talk) 00:02, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
