User:Mxtthewdonald/sandbox

Dylan 'Baldy' Muir
Personal information
Full name	Dylan Lachlan Muir
Date of birth	16 December 2004
Place of birth	Irvine, Scotland
Height	5 ft 10 in (1.78 m)
Senior career*
Years	Team
2020 - 2023	Baldy
2023 - Present	Good boy Lachlan
International career
2020 - Present	The Orts
	*Club domestic league appearances and goals

Dylan Lachlan Muir (Born 16th December 2004), also known as "Baldy", is a former promising Scotland youth talent. Widely regarded as one of the greatest Womanizers in the history of the game.

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Early life

Dylan was born on 16 December 2004 in The Courts, Dreghorn. Growing up in a tight-knit, loving family, Baldy was quite a shy boy throughout most of his early life, developing passions for Football and Video Games, such as Fight Night Champion and Fortnite.

From a young age it was clear that Dylan struggled Academically and when he was younger, he was tested for multiple problems such as Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome and Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AIWS).

Despite this, he was a good-natured young kid and enjoyed the little things in life.

Greenwood

In 2016, Dylan entered into High School at the age of 12. With his academic learning struggles, Dylan consistently was placed into the bottom sets of Mathematics and English, regularly attending the school base for help with his work.

His struggles lead to him missing school and avoiding certain classes, which was unfortunate due to his love for Happy Cubes and the Three-times-table

However, it was not all bad for Dylan at school. His good nature meant he was quickly able to make numerous friends and his love for Football eventually lead him to collecting his only National 5 and Higher qualifications in Physical Education. He also enjoyed lunchtime trips to the Co-op, Rice paper and sometimes even Subway in Irvine town.

Baldy

With the problematic Covid-19 pandemic, there was imminent changes to the life of the now mid-teen aged Dylan. He started to become a lot more outgoing and increasingly developed an extroverted personality. This lead to the now locally-known "Baldy" personality to form and quickly become very likeable in the community. Baldy started to form friendships beyond those who he spent time with at school and grow his fanbase for his rebellious actions, becoming very quickly the talk of his peers and interested members in the community.

Spicecube

Throughout the Pandemic, Baldy involved himself in numerous Prank Calling activities towards multiple companies. This formed a few very important rivalries that were instrumental to the development of the Baldy character. None of these companies however, were as hated for Baldy as local Indian takeaway 'Spicecube'. Under the fake identity of an old woman called "Karen Smith", Baldy would phone up regularly to make complaints about the store, despite never actually having been to it. These prank calls would enjoy multiple laughs from his friend groups and eventually lead to escalation between him and the store workers on multiple occasions. It was at this point a life-changing rivalry had formed and nothing would ever be the same.

In 2021, he also called a local taxi company to arrange a booking and when he was left empty-handed, described the woman as a "Fucking Muppet".

The Orts

His increasing street-cred in his local community lead to him earning the title as the 'Leader of the Orts', short for his local area of The Courts and while he was in Magaluf in 2022, got a tattoo that reads "Baldy runs the orts" on his right-bumcheek

He still lives there today and makes sure to keep an eye out for any wrongdoings in the area while on patrol.

He also bitched long term rival Logan Caldwell into buying a house in the area, moving there from rival area, The Flats, in 2023.

Alcohol

In Late 2021, Baldy was introduced to Alcohol by his Friends. A drug that he refused to ever try before, Baldy was interested in the effects of it and tried it eventually. After a while Baldy began to regularly attend social events with alcohol and at the start had a strong loving for a crate of beer. It was around this point he indulged in conversations with women and quickly showed that he had a talent for it, befriending numerous very-quickly. A while after, Baldy retired from football, leaving a youth team of Bonneyton Thistle, as he had fell out of love with the beautiful game.

In 2022, the heat started to increase on the actions of Baldy. He moved from crates of beer on nights out to Venoms and eventually onto his widely renowned Disaronno, increasingly beginning conversing with a lot more women on a far-deeper and more meaningful level. He slept with his first woman in May of 2022 and in under a year managed to sleep with a further 16, an achievement considered remarkable by his friends due to his eyesore looks and lack of brain cells.

Good boy Lachlan

In 2023, Baldy's long-reigning phase as the infamous Bald-kid was widely regarded as over due to his lack of Womanizing and in his own words "increasingly boring behaviour". Some close to him think the reason for this is because he has fallen in love with one of the woman he has previously slept with and does not want to ruin any connection between the two.

Now known as "Good boy Lachlan", he does not rule out a return to his past Baldy persona, adding "Remember what I have done and it will return" when he commented publicly on the matter.