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Hello! My name is Katia Williams, and I am a Statistics major in your GPP 105 class! --Katchyaa (talk) 06:50, 24 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'm Pallavi and I'm also in GPP 105
Hi! I'm Sophie and I'm also in GPP 105. I'm really looking forward to the semester ahead. Perl s (talk) 21:17, 27 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Welcome!

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Hello, Anikakalra, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:07, 25 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Peer Review by Subul

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Sorry for the wait:(

Overall, all of your articles were great! I love how you found all the information necessary before writing - it really shows in your synthesis. You tied together a lot of facts from all the different sources very well, without making it seem like a laundry list of info. Valerie has done a great job with grammatical and diction critique, so for the most part I will leave that for now.

Areas: Homelessness in India

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Introduction

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You do a great job with having a general overview of important facts to include. However, maybe because you have so much information, some of it can be rearranged to increase clarity. For example, the last few sentences: "The consist of single men...with 11 million being urban." Although I understand what you mean, it is slightly confusing. For example, one might conclude that the mentally ill are their own category like single men, women, etc., although I believe you meant that there are a disproportionate amount of mentally ill individuals who are homeless. Similarly, it is unclear whether the census includes street children (under women with children) or not. Finally, the last sentence was intriguing and you might consider adding context. To me, "slums" implies that the residents cannot afford any other housing, so what do you mean when you say that they cannot even afford the slums?

Street Children

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Again, AMAZING job with synthesizing information. A minor edit: -"Because of these living conditions, street children have more physical and mental health..." because right now the implication is that these problems don't otherwise occur. Otherwise, there are only a few small improvements I would suggest. In your first paragraph, you mention that street children "...have bad performance and behavior issues..."; this, in turn, ties back into the cycle perpetuating this poverty and homelessness. I think that is definitely a good connection to make, especially since it relates back to your point in the introduction, that families have an average of 5 homeless generations.

In the second paragraph, you have great info again, however the connections between them are a bit unclear. In general, we know that street children do not have many resources, yet you say that they often have to pay for water. This implies both that most people do not have to pay for water, and that street children do/can afford it; adding context will help clarify this sentence. Additionally, you go on to say that they "get treated at private clinics" but again, I'm not sure as to how they afford this treatment, especially since you mention that "payed transportation" is a barrier to public clinics - which implies they don't have the necessary funds. I think only a little bit of context is necessary to clarify these statements! The last thing in this paragraph that I'd like to point out is your last sentence. The flow of the paragraph mentions how street children are barred from health providers, and it is implied that this is for physical health services. However, the last sentence makes the conclusion that because of the stuff mentioned before, they suffer from mental health issues. Although they are definitely related, and both exist, you might consider rephrasing it, since physical and mental health are in this context, not in a causation relationship.

In your third paragraph, you mention that "boys are more abused than girls" which is something I found very counterintuitive and interesting. Maybe consider elaborating or defining the parameters by which you state this fact. It makes me also wonder if sexual abuse is counted in this, since it is harder to define and catch, or if it is just labor/other abuse.

Finally, the end of the street children section you cover drop in centers. I completely agree that this section belongs under street children because of the unique effects it has on this group. However, in your next section, "Government and homeless shelters", I would make a reference or a link to this section; because otherwise, the next section is lacking a very significant demographic group!

Government and homeless shelters

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I love how you created a new section - this is definitely very important and necessary to understand homelessness in general! Again great job synthesizing information. However, I do notice that you are relying exclusively on one source - which is fine - but definitely try to include other ones as well. This would make your research far more reliable if it is supported by multiple sources. It also makes it easier to paraphrase and avoid accidentally plagiarizing small sections! Also, you mention how shelters are majority male, and so I assume that most of this section is a narrative of what males face; however, consider adding a section, or even a paragraph within this section, specifying what the female narrative may look like (if there is enough info!)

One thing to note is that when you use words specific to the region, such as lakhs, translate the word or provide a link that does, since some of the audience may not know what you are referring to.

Sectors: Healthcare in India

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Urban health-access to healthcare

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I like how you created new subsections, especially because if the article doesn't specifically cover access to healthcare, it is ignoring a lot of narratives. However, since I have not seen the article, I notice that you only focus on the poor/homeless. This makes me wonder if the rest of the article adequately covers other more privileged groups, because we don't want to ignore their narrative either.

Public Healthcare Section AND ONWARD TO REST OF SECTIONS

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From here on out, until you told us that the research itself is giving suggestions, I thought that these were your opinions, based on what you read about existing programs, but your opinions nonetheless. It seemed to me that you were in essence writing a research paper. I did not go and read the papers you based this off of, and other editors may not either - or they may not even have access to them. So, it is important that you explicitly state that these are not your own suggestions; rather, research has shown that this or that is the best route.

Overall

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Absolutely amazing job with providing encyclopedic sections with multiple sources and great synthesizing of information. For the most part, edits are minor and just related to clarifying and adding more context. I would also consider including more links to other wiki pages to provide more information should the audience so choose, instead of just having to follow the sources which may not be accessible for some, or be too difficult and heavy to read. Links will also help decrease some of the volume of your content. That is not to say that your content is not great, but if you have a lot of introductory material not specific to India, then someone might start reading your section, think it's irrelevant, and move on. I am NOT saying to cut your volume in half or even 3/4 but to just be careful with length of articles! Also be careful with making research sound like opinions. Even though the research is suggestions, frame it as thus, otherwise other individuals, especially those who may not have access to the papers, will assume you are making these conjectures. Also, try to find other sources in the sections that rely primarily on one or two articles; this will help your article seem more trustworthy if you're pulling from multiple sources for the same info! Great job!! Subuls (talk) 19:17, 16 March 2018 (UTC)Subuls[reply]

Peer Review (2)

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  • I will have your review done by tomorrow! Sorry for the delay :( (talk)

Anikakalra's Peer Review

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Homelessness in India

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Introduction

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  • In this section, you define 'homeless' as those who do not live in a regular residence due to lack of adequate housing, safety, and availability, but then you also say that the homeless can't afford to live in the slums, which I found a bit contradicting, because slums themselves have inadequate housing and safety. So are the residents of slums considered homeless? Or perhaps is there a kind of social class among the homeless? Maybe doing a bit more research on these can be of value to your article
  • Another interesting to note is that you say homeless are often found on railway platforms, similarly, slums are found beside old railways.
  • When giving statistics, maybe you can be a bit more clear. Although it is stated under homelessness in India it would be easier for the reader if you state that there were "1.77 million homeless peoples in India, according to the 2011 census."
  • A word choice I have is perhaps changing "women with children" to "single mothers"

Street Children

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  • First I will give all my grammatical suggestions, with the new suggestions italicized:
   - "In families with 2-11 children, they are seen as useful in terms of making wages to help support the family" to "In families with 2-11 children, the are used to make wages to help support the family."
   - "They have bad performance and behavior issues in school and may eventually drop out leading to low literacy."
   - "Street children oftentimes have bad performance and behavior issues in school and may eventually drop out leading to low literacy." 
   -"Tow major barrier to taking care of their health is that most street children have no insurance or social security and are more concerned about wages and would rather skip going to the doctor than missing a day of work." to "Two major barriers to taking care of their health is; one most street children have no insurance or social security and two are more concerned about wages, that they would rather skip going to the doctor that missing a day of work."
   - "Hospitals view them as bad, think they will ask for bribes, and so don't give them service and make them pay more." to "Hospitals think badly of them often times assuming they will ask for bribes, therefore ejecting them service and/or making them pay more. 
    - "Thus, many street children end up being depressed antisocial or have a negative approach to life."
    -"Most experience verbal and psychological abuse, some experience general abuse and neglect, less suffer from health abuse, and a small number, physical abuse." to "Most experience verbal and psychological abuse, some experience general abuse and neglect, less suffer from health abuse, and a small number from physical abuse." 
    -"Children liked them as they were allowed to act like themselves and act their age." to "Children like them because they were allowed to act their age and be themselves. 
    -"The could play and learn as opposed to work to survive." to "They could play and learn as opposed to work in order to survive. 
    -"As many often don't get support from their parents or families or anyone else on the streets, they claimed to trust the staff and see them as their families." to "As many often don't get support from their parents or families or anyone else on the streets, they seek trust in the staff and consider them family.
    -"Additionally, they were taught to shower regularly, change and way clean clothes, and how to stay clean." to "Additionally, they were taught to shower regularly, change and wear clean clothes, and how to stay clean."
    -"The kids believed they have more opportunities or success in the future." to "These kids believe they have more opportunities or success in the future."
    -"They had gotten used to the freedom on the streets; they could do drugs, pay with friends and enjoy whenever they wanted." to "They had gotten used to the freedom on the streets; doing drugs, playing with friends and enjoying whatever they wanted." 
  • Perhaps a link to dysentery may be helpful to some readers
  • Perhaps a better choice of word for "irritations" is "burden."
  • When you say that boys are more abused than girls, do you mean this because they are found on the streets more than girls, or they are formerly abused and that's why they end up on the streets? This sentence needs a bit of clarification.
  • When you say that the kids on the streets have a hierarchy, can this hierarchy relate to the notion of gangs? I think that going into this hierarchy system can be valuable to your article.
  • I'm not entirely sure what you mean by the following sentence: "They could release their adult responsibilities without sleeping hungry." Can you clarify this statement please.
  • Furthermore, when reading this section I was thinking maybe making the paragraphs about the drop in centers a a subsection under "Street Children" titled "Services for Street Children."
  • Overall, you have great content and I believe the information on drop in centers is of essence. There are a few grammatical errors throughout, so just make sure to read through it thoroughly, I may have missed some.
  • I thought it would be nice to leave a few suggestions rather than simply pointing out the errors. Of course, feel free to improve upon my suggestions :)

Government and Homeless Shelters

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  • I will again give my grammatical suggestions, this time I will just provide the revised sentence:
  -"It gave 20,000 rupees a year to homeless shelters, 50% payed with help from the government, 50% payed through loans from HUDCO or sponsors." 
  -"However, shelters only provide a temporary solution as they do not replace the right to housing. 
  -"The data collected from survey analysis of homeless shelters around India by the supreme court showed the following: the shelters were majority male, only four shelters had females; it consisted of male wage workers, taxi and rickshaw drivers, and tourists; bedding was provided but was not enough or unclean; few had functional first aid, rodent control and activity space; some had minimal cooking equipment and tools, no shelters had gas to cook with, or utensils; they had bad lighting and ventilation; had terrible fire safety; drinking water was withheld but quality may have been good, hard to find water to wash clothes; no separate shelter for women and children; some didn't have bathrooms or were very dirty."
*The following are terms/concepts that I believe would be useful to link to a page that describes what they are.
  -rupees
  -laks
  • I noticed that you talk about the government and homeless shelters in both India and the US, I wish I had a better understanding of each so maybe narrowing it down to only one region would be better.

hi! I was wondering if you could point me to where I discuss the US? I am unsure what part you mean. Thanks! Anikakalra (talk)

Healthcare in India

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  • I like your proposal of reorganizing this article, and after reading the content, my suggestion for reorganizing the section goes as follows:

Access to Healthcare in India

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LEAD

Urban India

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Rural India

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Rural South India

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Rural North India

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Now I will go on to giving feedback on the rest of the sections

Urban Health - Access to Healthcare Grammatical revisions:

   -"Thus, the mission focuses on getting primary health services to the urban poor."

Public Healthcare Section I understand what your points are in this section, however I feel like you lose your encyclopedic voice and are instead trying to argue about what the government should do in relation to public health.

Access to Healthcare (overall)

  • I would suggest using 'medications' or 'prescriptions' rather than 'drugs' in the second to last sentence of the first paragraph.
  • The last paragraph has important information, however I feel that you lose your neutral point of view in the last few sentences. I suggest using more encyclopedic language here and make it less of an argument about what the government should do.

Rural Access to Healthcare overall section You state that the National Rural Health Mission has outreach strategies for disadvantaged societies. But then go on to say that there should be more local strategies. Yes, I agree. But again, for the sake of wikipedia, perhaps stating the specific examples of these strategies is stronger, that way the reader can see for themselves what is needed versus simply stating it. Again, using more encyclopedic language here would be helpful.

Overall, I enjoyed reading your draft and believe you have very important content! You have great encyclopedic language in your area articles. Doing the same for your sector articles will make this an excellent wiki contribution.

I hope this helps, awesome job!

Valgall (talk) 03:40, 19 March 2018 (UTC)Valgall[reply]

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