User talk:Ebinrt

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16:03, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

Your submission at Articles for creation: Salam Neighbor (April 28)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Ringbang was:

This submission appears to read more like an advertisement than an entry in an encyclopedia. Encyclopedia articles need to be written from a neutral point of view, and should refer to a range of independent, reliable, published sources, not just to materials produced by the creator of the subject being discussed. This is important so that the article can meet Wikipedia's verifiability policy and the notability of the subject can be established. If you still feel that this subject is worthy of inclusion in Wikipedia, please rewrite your submission to comply with these policies.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Salam Neighbor and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
You can also use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Ringbang (talk) 02:40, 28 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

AfC notification: Draft:Salam Neighbor has a new comment

I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission, which can be viewed at Draft:Salam Neighbor. Thanks! Ringbang (talk) 03:53, 29 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Salam Neighbor (April 29)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Ringbang was:

This submission appears to read more like an advertisement than an entry in an encyclopedia. Encyclopedia articles need to be written from a neutral point of view, and should refer to a range of independent, reliable, published sources, not just to materials produced by the creator of the subject being discussed. This is important so that the article can meet Wikipedia's verifiability policy and the notability of the subject can be established. If you still feel that this subject is worthy of inclusion in Wikipedia, please rewrite your submission to comply with these policies.

The comment the reviewer left was:

Hi, please don't be disheartened because I declined the submission again. I know you've added several more citations and I really appreciate how quickly you made the effort to improve the use of links in the page. Thank you! You have some great references and it's clear that the film satisfies the notability guideline. The main thing to focus on is presenting the information from a neutral point of view. This is essential. It may seem strange, but don't try to convince anyone that the film is good, or that it's worthy of being on Wikipedia—and don't think at all about SEO concepts like keyword density. Just report the facts as objectively as possible.

The "Comments about the documentary" and "Stories, Articles and Interviews": It is appropriate and desirable to summarise critical and public response; to list adulatory quotes and catalogue positive press is not. (See also Wikipuffery.) Summarize the corpus of critical response and quote judiciously. The section should accurately reflect critical and public response. If some people reject the film, the reasons why are relevant, interesting, and useful. The "Stories, Articles and Interviews" section needs context.

The "Social Impact Campaign" section reads like a corporate memo or an executive summary. Please revise for encyclopedic tone. It would also benefit from more of a preamble to establish what it is, and how its connected to the film. In other words, state the obvious.

It might be best to delete the following: "Between January and April 2016, Salam Neighbor screened over 200 times in 120 cities and towns in North America". It reads like puffery, and it cites Facebook, which is verboten.

Statements like "A calendar for public screenings is available" are not appropriate for an encyclopedia article.

"Virtual Reality Film (in partnership with RYOT and UN OCHA)" seems too tangential. If there isn't a stronger connection to the film than just being another of the filmmakers' projects, this should probably be deleted.

I love the generous amount of high-res photos; however, some of them need captions that more explicitly establish their relevance. "Um Ali crocheting art from plastic bags" describes the photo, but it's not safe to assume that the reader has already read about Um Ali and knows who she is.

The "External links" section is excessive, and several of the links are either inappropriate or tangential. The official website of the film and the IMDb page are good. Official Twitter and Facebook are passable. The rest can go.

You have terrific material to work with. Excellent topic, lots of resources. The raw materials are here for a very high-quality article. The key to getting there is to get a feel for what makes a good Wikipedia article. Wikipedia:Writing better articles is essential. Have you seen the articles for, say, Not My Life (2011), The Boys from Baghdad High (2008), or The Sinking of the Lusitania (1918)? These are three featured articles that set a good example for writing about documentary film. Bon courage, friend.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Salam Neighbor and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
You can also use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Ringbang (talk) 09:37, 29 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Salam Neighbor (May 1)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by RadioFan was:

This submission appears to read more like an advertisement than an entry in an encyclopedia. Encyclopedia articles need to be written from a neutral point of view, and should refer to a range of independent, reliable, published sources, not just to materials produced by the creator of the subject being discussed. This is important so that the article can meet Wikipedia's verifiability policy and the notability of the subject can be established. If you still feel that this subject is worthy of inclusion in Wikipedia, please rewrite your submission to comply with these policies.

The comment the reviewer left was:

This still reads like an advertisement. 134 references is overkill. Also, you claim to have the copyright on each of those images, if that is the case than you have a conflict on interest here.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Salam Neighbor and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you need any assistance, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk or on the reviewer's talk page.
You can also use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

RadioFan (talk) 14:16, 1 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reply to your Articles for Creation Help Desk question

Hello, Ebinrt! I'm St170e. I have replied to your question about a submission at the WikiProject Articles for Creation Help Desk st170e^talk 02:12, 2 May 2016 (UTC) st170e^talk 02:12, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Salam Neighbor has been accepted

Salam Neighbor, which you submitted to Articles for creation, has been created.
The article has been assessed as Start-Class, which is recorded on the article's talk page. You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article.

You are more than welcome to continue making quality contributions to Wikipedia. Note that because you are a logged-in user, you can create articles yourself, and don't have to post a request. However, you may continue submitting work to Articles for Creation if you prefer.

If you have any questions, you are welcome to ask at the help desk.
If you would like to help us improve this process, please consider leaving us some feedback.

Thank you for helping improve Wikipedia!

st170e^talk 05:44, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Improving your recent article

Hello! Well done on your draft. It was great work, but don't give up on the article yet! It is now open to all Wikipedia users. I've tagged the Wikipedia page with three specific issues that need to be addressed so others can help. Please reorganise your article (the main section on the documentary) and divide this into further subsections. Anything about the release of the film should be grouped under one heading etc, so that the reader can navigate the article better. Hope this helps! st170e^talk 05:50, 2 May 2016 (UTC) Also, just want to add, that the images are marked as your 'own work', which is completely false. This is why there is a copyright issue over the images, which may be removed from Wikipedia. st170e^talk 05:57, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Copyright Violations

Just to let you know in case you haven't seen your talk page on the WikiCommons, your images on the page Salam Neighbor have been removed as they were violations of copyright. st170e^talk 06:07, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. It seems the photo issue has been fixed by someone because some pictures are back on, but not all of them. I have worked on adding additional sections to comply with the layout guidelines and make the article more accessible, as requested. I also added the section called Reception, as was requested, but now there is a note saying it is too much like an advertisement for basically the same information. I also tried to deal with the orphan issue through two different citations, one in the article Living on One Dollar, which was made by the same filmmakers, as well as a reference in the article Documentaries. Have I resolved all the problems? Ebinrt (talk) 17:43, 7 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

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