User talk:Ijohn9n9

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Your submission at Articles for creation: Ben Patrick (April 24)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by I dream of horses was:

This submission does not appear to be written in the formal tone expected of an encyclopedia article. Entries should be written from a neutral point of view, and should refer to a range of independent, reliable, published sources. Please rewrite your submission in a more encyclopedic format. Please make sure to avoid peacock terms that promote the subject.

The comment the reviewer left was:

Would need to be significantly rewritten to be moved into mainspace.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Ben Patrick and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

I dream of horses ^{(Contribs) (Talk)} 00:11, 24 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, Ijohn9n9! Having an article draft declined at Articles for Creation can be disappointing. If you are wondering why your article submission was declined, please post a question at the Articles for creation help desk. If you have any other questions about your editing experience, we'd love to help you at the Teahouse, a friendly space on Wikipedia where experienced editors lend a hand to help new editors like yourself! See you there! I dream of horses ^{(Contribs) (Talk)} 00:11, 24 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Ben Patrick (May 1)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Robert McClenon was:

This submission does not appear to be written in the formal tone expected of an encyclopedia article. Entries should be written from a neutral point of view, and should refer to a range of independent, reliable, published sources. Please rewrite your submission in a more encyclopedic format. Please make sure to avoid peacock terms that promote the subject.

The comment the reviewer left was:

This page appears to have been written to praise its subject rather than to describe the subject neutrally. Wikipedia is written from a neutral point of view. If this draft is resubmitted without being reworked, it may be nominated for deletion. You may ask for advice about the tone of articles at the Teahouse.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Ben Patrick and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Robert McClenon (talk) 05:23, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

AfC notification: Draft:Ben Patrick has a new comment

I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission, which can be viewed at Draft:Ben Patrick. Thanks! Robert McClenon (talk) 05:33, 1 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Speedy deletion nomination of Draft:Ben Patrick

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A tag has been placed on Draft:Ben Patrick, requesting that it be speedily deleted from Wikipedia. This has been done under section G11 of the criteria for speedy deletion, because the page seems to be unambiguous advertising which only promotes a company, group, product, service, person, or point of view and would need to be fundamentally rewritten in order to become encyclopedic. Please read the guidelines on spam and Wikipedia:FAQ/Organizations for more information.

If you think this page should not be deleted for this reason, you may contest the nomination by visiting the page and clicking the button labelled "Contest this speedy deletion". This will give you the opportunity to explain why you believe the page should not be deleted. However, be aware that once a page is tagged for speedy deletion, it may be deleted without delay. Please do not remove the speedy deletion tag from the page yourself, but do not hesitate to add information in line with Wikipedia's policies and guidelines. If the page is deleted, and you wish to retrieve the deleted material for future reference or improvement, then please contact the deleting administrator. SeanTVT (talk) 10:42, 8 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Reply

Thanks for your message. Regarding COI, if you are employed by him, you must put the following on your user page {{paid|user=Ijohn9n9|employer=Ben Patrick}} on your user page user:Ijohn9n9, even if you are not paid specifically to write about him, otherwise put {{Connected contributor|User1=Ijohn9n9}} on the draft talk page. Please read the following guidance

When you write about a person, you must provide independent verifiable sources to enable us to verify the facts and show that they meet the notability guidelines. Sources that are not acceptable include those linked to the person or an associated organisation, press releases, YouTube, IMDB, social media and other sites that can be self-edited, blogs, websites of unknown or non-reliable provenance, and sites that are just reporting what the person claims or interviewing them. Note that references should be in-line so we can tell what fact each is supporting, and should not be bare urls.

Quite a lot of your text is unsourced, or sourced to sites that are interviews with him or quoting him, and are therefore not independent third-party sources. The ATG website is basically a promo

His notability, as linked above, doesn't depend on what people think of him or his techniques, it is defined by coverage in independent third-party sources, which is what you are lacking, either because you haven't provided a source or it's him talking about himself, which is irrelevant

You must write in a non-promotional tone. Articles must be neutral and encyclopaedic, with verifiable facts, not opinions or reviews.

Your text is full of opinions, whereas what we need is neutral facts. Examples include program has gained popularity among athletes and fitness enthusiasts for its emphasis on functional strength and injury prevention. The program is characterized as being "designed to be adaptable to different fitness levels and can be customized based on individual goals and needs and even paired with other programs...
If you make medical claims, the standard of referencing is much higher, so for example promise to end knee pain needs a medical source

Some experts have expressed concerns about the potential risks of placing too much stress on the knees when exercising, while others have criticized the lack of scientific evidence to support the effectiveness of the method. Who? Please gives references to those experts
Through his dedication to promoting functional strength and injury prevention, Ben Patrick has become a "leading figure in the fitness industry and an inspiration to many.[2] Fact-free promo, and I can't see the direct quote in your source for it. Even if it's there, it's just an opinion

There shouldn't be any url links in the article, only in the "References" or "External links" sections.

Especially spam links to his website

You must not copy text from elsewhere. Copyrighted text is not allowed in Wikipedia, as outlined in this policy. That applies even to pages created by you or your organisation, unless they state clearly and explicitly that the text is public domain. We require that text posted here can be used, modified and distributed for any purpose, including commercial; text is considered to be copyright unless explicitly stated otherwise. There are ways to donate copyrighted text to Wikipedia, as described here; please note that simply asserting on the talk page that you are the owner of the copyright, or you have permission to use the text, isn't sufficient.

Before attempting to write an article again, please make sure that the topic meets the notability criteria linked above, and check that you can find independent third party sources.You need to chop most of this article to just real, verifiable facts with real sources. Also, we don't care about his goals, ambitions etc, just what he's done.

Incidentally, you should give full details of his books, inc isbns, in an unreferenced "Publications" section.

I'll post the deleted text to User:Ijohn9n9/sandbox for you to work on Jimfbleak - talk to me? 10:08, 15 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Jimfbleak

Thank you so much for the draft and for taking the time to write this out! I believe this is exactly the clarity I needed and I will fix all of the above! Is it cool if, when I make all of these changes, I ask you to review the draft again?

Have a great rest of your day! :) Ijohn9n9 (talk) 00:25, 16 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]

That's fine Jimfbleak - talk to me? 07:39, 16 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]