User talk:JacobShalk
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, JacobShalk, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 05:09, 24 January 2017 (UTC)
Peer review from classmate Lovinne
[edit]Hi Jacob, I have some suggestions for your edit to Nicotinamide. Please write on my user talk page if I need to clarify any points.
Overall
- I think it would be a good idea to reorganize the overall article. It seems that the molecule’s biochemistry and structure are more basic information than its uses as a supplement or medicine and the side effects thereof.
- So, my idea of natural progression would be
- Introduction
- Structure and Biochemistry (better condensed, IMO)
- Food sources and dietary requirements
- Medical Uses
- Niacin deficiency
- Acne
- Side effects
- Research
- See also
- Isonicotinamide
- British Pharmacopoeia
- Japanese Pharmacopoeia
- Etc, etc.
Introduction
- The second paragraph would be better placed under the section “side effects.” I think that the first sentence (Nicotinamide has minimal side effects) is sufficient treatment of that topic in the introduction.
- Instead of having a section on Production that consists of one sentence, I think you could just move that to the introduction.
- I think it would be better to move the first half of the third paragraph (“Nicotinamide was discovered…over the counter”) should be moved to the first paragraph after the first sentence (“…used as a medication.”) The brief history and WHO tidbit would make a good segway between the first sentence and the information about its
- My idea of a natural progression of information in the introduction:
- NAA, aka vitamin B3, is a compound found in food, dietary supplements, and medications.
- Discovered…
- Now 31k tons of it are produced every year. Many countries add it to grain.
- Found in [insert foods]
- WHO essential medications
- NAA treats such conditions as skin flushing, acne, etc. with minimal side effects.
- I don’t really think you need to mention the price of nicotinamide in Britain.
Structure and Biochemistry
- I think you should explain the significance of an amido group (e.g. stability, conjugation, resonance).
- You ought to mention that nicotinamide is an antioxidant and explain the structural reasons for that, as well as the relevant biochemistry. So, explain how it neutralizes free radicals. I also think it would be useful to include a diagram of a radical reaction NAA takes part in.
- Why talk about the structure of NAD+ and its positively charged nitrogen. I realize that NAA is a component of NAD+, but this article is about the former, not the latter.
- You say “the structure…determines its biological function.” What function? I think this is a worthy concept, but it would be more fruitful to a) say it of NAA and b) explain exactly how the structure of NAA relates to its biological function.
- Last sentence of 1st paragraph in biochem section should be moved to after 2nd sentence (“…incorporated into NAD+ and NADP+), so people know what those compounds are before you elaborate.
- It would be helpful to add curved arrows to the reaction diagram.
- “assists in forming ATP, the primary energy currency of the cell.” Laymen don’t know what ATP is.
- Before getting into mechanism of NAD+ reduction, I would explain the significance of that. Something basic, along the lines of “NAD+ acts as an electron carrier that helps with the interconversion of energy between nutrients and the cell’s energy currency, ATP.
Food Sources and Dietary Requirements
- I think you should specify what the agreed-upon dietary requirements are for NAA.
- Try to expound upon the information presented.
- You could make a small chart of the quantities of NAA (in % RDA) of the foods you listed.
- You mention that fortification with NAA is required in the UK. Is it required in America? If not, is it common practice among food producers anyway?
- Is there any relevant history to NAA deficiency and subsequent status as a recommended vitamin (kind of like the history of scurvy)?
Medical Uses
- Niacin deficiency
- Expand this section.
- Explain what pellagra is, even if it’s a simple description. You could include a safe-for-work image of the symptoms of pellagra.
- Are there other known causes of niacin deficiency? How does bacterial overgrowth in the small intestines cause niacin deficiency?
- Acne
- Combine first two sentences to one paragraph.
- “...treatment for acne [in part because] it has anti-inflammatory action. It may also benefit people with other inflammatory skin conditions.” (acne is an inflammatory skin condition)
- How does increased ceramide production curb acne? Even if the mechanism isn’t known, specify.
- What is IL-8?
- Combine first two sentences to one paragraph.
- Side Effects
- Start off section with last sentence, i.e. nicotinamide is considered safe in its various uses and rarely causes side effects. That’s the layman’s takeaway of this section, so it should go first.
- Second, say “However, high-dose NAA should still be considered as a drug with toxic potential…”
- Then move onto more technical info about vasodilator, etc. action and comparisons with nicotinic acid.
- I’d switch the order of the clauses in the (current) first sentence. Say that it lacks the flushing/itching/burning sensations of nicotinic acid because it doesn’t have the same vasodilating/gastrointestinal/hepatic/hypolipidemic actions.
Research
- What is bullous pemphigoid? Also, you said “There is also tentative evidence for bullous pemphigold.” What is this sentence saying? I don’t know if you mean that there’s evidence that NAA could treat this condition, or if NAA causes this condition, or if there’s simply evidence that condition exists.
- 2nd paragraph: The first sentence is unclear from “sensitizing agent/…” onward. Maybe split it after “…growth-promoter,” and start a new sentence “This results in enhanced blood flow and increased oxygen supply to tumors, thereby reducing tumor hypoxia.”
- There’s no reason to divide this into two paragraphs, because the paragraphs themselves aren’t united by any one topic. I would either combine them into one paragraph, or start a new line for every separate topic.