User talk:Jeffers.s9/Roberta Achtenberg

Peer Review

I think the article has a good status and you have done a great job developing it. The tone is neutral and it reads like a standard Wikipedia article. I think you are in a great place because you have a lot of substance, and the notes that you have at the bottom of the sections show that the finished version of the article will be quite comprehensive. For instance, I think it will be really important when you add Atchenberg’s accomplishments while serving on the USCCR. In terms of structure, I think that the “Personal Life” section should be moved up. I’m a little ambivalent because her career is presumably more important in terms of why people look her up on Wikipedia, but I think it is a bit confusing that her personal life comes at the very end (especially because the personal life section is not the latest chronologically). It might be beneficial to place it after “Early life and education” because other aspects of her career might then make more sense (such as talking about her being a lesbian before the reader knows that she actually came out as a lesbian). In response to your question about the last section in the “Personal Life” category, I think it should be kept in “Personal Life,” but I do think that you can put it in either and it would still make sense. If you fill in those additional facts in the sections and add an updated note about her most recent career step, your article will be in great standing!

Metroblum (talk) 18:48, 2 April 2023 (UTC)

Peer Review STLwiki

I think that article is off to a good start! Overall, it has a good foundation of Achtenberg’s biography, but there is plenty of room to add details, just as you have been doing! The main strength of the article is the career section, although you could add more about her recent career. The main weakness is the personal life section, and your additions will go a long way to strengthening this section. I think you have a very clear understanding of how the article can be improved with your sandbox notes, so if you make the edits you have outlined this article will be in great shape. Overall, the article is underdeveloped, and your edits will do a great job turning it into a well-developed article.

Also- you left a comment asking if the section on Jesse Helms calling Achtenberg “a damn lesbian” should be kept in her personal section or go in her political section. I think either works, but in the context of the rest of that paragraph, about opposition and being the first LGBTQ person to be nominated and confirmed to a federal position, it should go into the political career section.

~~~~ STLwiki (talk) 20:46, 2 April 2023 (UTC)