User talk:Maggieelize/sandbox

BCarmichael feedback

A good article to for contribution! Proof-read your edits both on the article and the Talk pages to catch typos. The information contributed helps expand the article, thought I am in agreement with your peer about organization. Is this area prone to blizzards (is there a history)? Have steps been taken to mitigate response in light of this event? Are their warning systems in place? Were any ecosystems affected by the snow remaining on the ground? These questions are meant to help spur ideas. References used provided some information about the event, but are not from a scientific journal or governmental publication. Work toward locating more reliable information to support additions. BCarmichael (talk) 17:58, 11 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

kkearn7 feedback: 1968 Tracy Tornado

Nice choice of article and correction of wrong facts. Overall, the article is a bit brief, so more information like details of the mechanics of the disturbance could have been added. Also, the addition of more sources would really help the article. I know that since the article is so brief, it is difficult to add large amounts of information. Overall, nice work on an article that is very brief. Kkearn7 (talk) 07:11, 3 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Mandychoi1013 Feedback: 2012 Tunnel Creek Avalanche

I definitely liked how you mentioned the snowfall that happened in the area prior to the avalanche which caused the snow pack to become unstable. However, I feel like it would be more appropriate to place that information as a lead-in for the sub-section of "Avalanche" because the last sentence of the introduction and beginning of the next section both mention the disruption of the snow pack and triggering of the avalanche, which are basically the same thing. Maybe consider another sub-heading rather than "Avalanche" too. Also, is the "characterized as a 200 feet across and 3 feet deep" dimensions or an actual way of classifying a slab avalanche? If it is supposed to be dimension, you want to rephrase that sentence. Mandychoi1013 (talk) 23:43, 28 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]