Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Missing My Baby/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 23:13, 27 October 2012 [1].

Missing My Baby

Nominator(s): Jona ^{talk to me} 00:54, 23 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because...I fixed all issues on the last FAC and added quotes for every ref that needed a subscription for verification. Best, Jona ^{talk to me} 00:54, 23 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Wikipedian Penguin: Per talk page request, I'm taking a look at the article. I hope these suggestions help:

"It was composed by A.B. Quintanilla III, her brother and principal record producer, and Pete Astudillo, a backup singer with Selena y Los." - should be for Selena y Los. Also, the sentence tells me that AB is not her brother, but that her brother is another one of the unnamed writers. Perhaps "It was composed by A.B. Quintanilla III—her brother—and principal record producer...". And why "principal"? There's only one producer.
- A.B. was her main record producer (he produced and wrote most of her songs). Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Many sentences lack coherence and logical flow. Unrelated ideas are being put together and not reading nicely. A few examples...
- "Their intention was to showcase Selena's diverse musical abilities, and she wanted to include it on the album to help her to cross over into the English-speaking market."
- Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "Critics praised the song, and a posthumous music video made for VH1 was released in 1998 to promote her triple box-set Anthology."
- Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "It employs melisma, and Selena's emotive enunciation, emphasizing the song's title and its central theme, was highly praised by contemporary music critics." (just muddy)
- Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"'Missing My Baby' was co-written by Pete Astudillo, a backup singer for Selena y Los Dinos, and Selena's brother and principal record producer A.B. Quintanilla III, who also produced it." - repetition here, "principal record producer A.B. Quintanilla III, who also produced it."
- Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
This is awkward, "... to showcase her diverse musical abilities and to allow a variety of musical styles to be represented on the album" - how does one song allow a variety of musical styles to be represented? And "allow" is not right here. Maybe "to add to the album's variety of musical styles and to showcase her diverse musical abilities"
- Because the parent album contained mostly Latin-influenced songs. Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"she decided that her next recording should contain an English-language song" - "would feature" is better in this context.
- Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"and Full Force agreed to add backing vocals to the song, which they recorded in two days." - did they record the song in two days or just the additional vocals?
- Just the additional vocals. Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
You should probably cut "to the song" then to avoid confusion. —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 22:52, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:23, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

More comments to come. The article looks very comprehensive. With a very thorough copy edit, the prose should be good too. —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 00:25, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! Best, Jona ^{talk to me} 01:12, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Some more:

"The lyrics describe the love felt by the narrator, who thinks constantly and joyfully of the happy times she has shared with her lover." - "constantly" is unnecessary because this is (we're assuming) what the whole song is about.
Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:23, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Though" should be "although" in lead.
Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:23, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
subject verb agreement inconsistency: "Selena's emotive vocalization, which have been highly praised by contemporary music critics"
Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:23, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"R&B duo Full Force were the backing vocalists for both versions of "Missing My Baby"." - it would be nice to remind readers what these two versions are.
Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:23, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Should be in critical reception and legacy section - "Cary Clack of the San Antonio Express-News commented that the recording "displays [Selena's] wonderful vocal and emotional range"."
Done Jona ^{talk to me} 01:23, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"In the chorus, repeated four times" - so it is played a total of five times?
Huh? Jona ^{talk to me} 01:23, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It played once first, then was repeated four times? I think you mean it is sung four times or played four times. Repeated means four additional times. —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 22:14, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The lines that are part of the chorus were played four times in the song. Best, Jona ^{talk to me} 22:34, 2 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Then that is what should be said. —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 20:03, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~Due to the list of issues, I will momentarily have to oppose, but will continue to update with comments if needed.~~ —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 22:52, 1 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"for this song and 'Techno Cumbia'" - sounds strange

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 23:33, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Crazy for you" should be "Crazy for You".

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 23:33, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"while later" is awkward, probably because while would refer to simultaneous events and later would be a subsequent event.

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 23:33, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"'Missing My Baby' was one of the first songs to be played after Selena was murdered" - vague; played where? On radio?

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 23:33, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Should it be "Selena's first songs", not "the first songs".

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 23:33, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Billboard reported it to have been positioned at number 47 out of 50 music videos for that channel in the week ending 5 April, 1998" - needs rewording. "number 47 out of 50 music videos for that channel" isn't working.

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 23:33, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

In references, quotations inside the quotations should have single quotes. (eg. "Burr, Ramiro: "Missing My Baby"...) —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 20:03, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not following here, what do you want me to do? Jona ^{talk to me} 23:33, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

To clarify, any quotation marks within a quotation should be replaced with single marks, or apostrophes( ' ); for instance, "'The Full Force collaboration 'Missing My Baby,' is built on hooks that recall Diana Ross' Marvin Gaye tribute 'Missing You' and the Beach Boys' 'Good to My Baby'." Dan56 (talk) 23:53, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Yes. I apologize for my lazy (and sloppy) wording. —WP:PENGUIN · ^{[ TALK ]} 00:52, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comprehensive for an album track. A couple of things first, though.

"contemporary R&B" is more of a historical phrasing to disambiguate from the original black music marketing term "rhythm and blues", so you could just replace [[contemporary R&B]] with [[contemporary R&B|R&B]].

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 00:37, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Citations generally are placed after punctuation, so sentences like "a mid-tempo^[5] contemporary R&B ballad with influences of urban^[6] and soul music.^[2]" can have its citations placed at the end, after the period, like "... and soul music.^[2][5][6]"

Can you explain this? I'm not understanding what you mean. Jona ^{talk to me} 00:37, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Per WP:CITE#How to..., ref. tags are normally placed after the adjascent punctuation such as periods and commas. In the sentence above, tag #5 and #6 are placed after the word they are citing. I'd suggest placing all of them after the period ending the sentence. Dan56 (talk) 02:13, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Those refs do not support each claim in that sentence that's why I have them like that. Jona ^{talk to me} 03:06, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

In the sentence ending "week ending 5 April, 1998", the comma should be removed, as it is DMY format (WP:MOS/Dates)

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 00:37, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Is this sentence being cited by the ^[1] source that follows in the next sentence?: "Quintanilla III wrote "Missing My Baby" in a week, and three weeks later, in late 1991, it was recorded at Sun Valley, Los Angeles." Dan56 (talk) 23:53, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not done, I still don't understand what you are asking me to do. Jona ^{talk to me} 03:06, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The col-2 divider in the personnel section is only necessary for lists of at least 20 credits (WP:ALBUMSEL) Dan56 (talk) 23:58, 6 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 00:37, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The abbreviation for the United States (US) should be with periods, U.S. In articles with UK or UAE, the other should be used (WP:MOS/Abbreviations)

Done Jona ^{talk to me} 00:37, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Dan56 (talk) 00:00, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Addressed comments from Erick moved to talk

Support Good work! Erick (talk) 17:46, 21 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support It's hard to make a non-single song article a featured one, so this deserves FA status. --Khanassassin ☪ 14:20, 22 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Addressed comments from TBrandley moved to talk

Support TBr and ley 22:56, 25 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Delegate note -- on a quick read, still seems to be some room for improvement in the prose; since it's not a long article I may take care of it myself shortly. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:40, 25 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Completed quick copyedit, pls check no meaning altered inadvertently. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:16, 26 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Ian Rose . Best, Jona ^{talk to me} 12:55, 26 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.