Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ronald Skirth/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Karanacs 14:34, 3 November 2010 [1].

Ronald Skirth

Featured article candidates/Ronald Skirth/archive1

Notified: User talk:Jim Sweeney,User talk:Binksternet User talk:David Underdown, Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Biography, Wikipedia talk:WPAFC, Wikipedia talk:MILHIST

I am nominating this article for FAC because I feel it meets the FA criteria. Although it is fairly short for FA, I have seen other similar FAs that are not substantially longer, for example Edgar Towner. I have benefited greatly from the help of a GA reviewer in bringing the article to GA status and would now like to bring it to FA status if possible. Dwab3 (talk) 14:58, 1 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Note this was originally listed as an FAR so I have moved it to FAC and fixed the incoming links. I should be able to look at the article soon. Regards, Woody (talk) 18:32, 2 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies for this listing error on my part, and many thanks to Woody for sorting it out.Dwab3 (talk) 10:40, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment I'm very concerned that this has been written largely from an autobiographical source. Additionally, no page numbers are given in the citations, so this is impossible to verify or check for plagiarism. --Andy Walsh (talk) 20:36, 2 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment. Hi Dwab, it looks very interesting, but I echo Andy's concern that we need page numbers from The Reluctant Tommy. SlimVirgin ^{talk|contribs} 00:35, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for these helpful comments. Finding page numbers is no problem - I didn't know this was required. Also, I didn't realise that primary sources were an issue, but this can actually be very easily fixed as there is a secondary source (Barrett, Casualty Figures - cited in the article) which I think should cover all but a handful of the references. I will go through and find the appropriate page references in that secondary source (plus occasional refs in the primary if necessary) and edit the article accordingly, some time in the next couple of days. Dwab3 (talk) 10:37, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose on the basis of 1a; this article is rather poorly written in my opinion. A few examples:
- "A self-confessed 'dreamer' with a romantic sensibility, Skirth was very fond of literature, and in particular poetry; he took with him to the Western Front a much-annotated copy of Francis Turner Palgrave's Golden Treasury, and his favourite poets were John Keats, Percy Bysshe Shelley and Lord Byron." Run-on sentence, as given away by the "and" in front of "his favourite poets".
- "... and so for the rest of his army service he made deliberate errors in targeting calculations". "So"?
- "After the war, Skirth's remained a convinced pacifist for the rest of his life". "Skirth's"?
- "He believed that Britain should not have declared war on Germany in 1939 and claimed that he would rather surrender and face occupation by a hostile force than take up arms against them." Germany is not a plural noun, and neither is "force".
- "... having requested for the process to be expedited". Why not "having requested that the process be expedited"?
- "Skirth saw action in the Battle of Messines, where two of his closest friends, Bill and Geordie, were killed." A battle isn't a place. Malleus Fatuorum 02:12, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Comment: I've corrected most of these errors and I'll take a look at the rest of the article shortly. Wasn't too sure how to best fix your 4th point though. — Martin (MSGJ · talk) 08:23, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I will fix point number 4. Thanks for your keen eye. Dwab3 (talk) 10:37, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose: Original Research due to reliance on PRIMARY: reliance on "Ronald Skirth; Jon Snow (16 April 2010), Duncan Barrett, ed., The Reluctant Tommy: An Extraordinary Memoir of the First World War, Macmillan, ISBN 978-0230746732" a primary historical and biographical source for a historical and biographical article. The reading of primary historical sources, is by its nature, original research. Comments 1c/2c.

Thanks for this. See above.Dwab3 (talk) 10:47, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Not Forgotten: The Men Who Wouldn't Fight, Channel 4, 2008" needs to be fully cited (episode numbers, first broadcast date if a broadcast was used).

Ok, will look into this. Dwab3 (talk) 10:37, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This citation's date is out of style for your article, ""Flanders turned Ronald into the Reluctant Tommy", Bexhill-on-Sea Observer, 29 April 2010". Citations of newspaper titles are inconsistent, some are italics, some are roman. Fifelfoo (talk) 03:16, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Will have a look at these and try to standardise.Dwab3 (talk) 10:37, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.