Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Typhoon Chataan/archive1
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- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was promoted by GrahamColm 09:16, 12 August 2012 [1].
Typhoon Chataan (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)
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- Nominator(s): ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:55, 4 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
After a helpful copyedit from User:Juliancolton (and I invite him as a co-nominator, as I will be somewhat busy over the subsequent few weeks), I would like to nominate a recent article that I worked on - Typhoon Chataan. It caused torrential flooding across the western Pacific, and it was retired due to its impact. I used a variety of news sources, government reports, and websites to make it a comprehensive article, and there are a variety of interesting images. I hope you enjoy it and find it as worthy of being called a featured article as I believe it deserves. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:55, 4 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Support - as the nominator said, I made a few slight edits to the article's text, but that was the extent of it; the content is solid and presented in a favorably non-showy way. The many applications of data present contribute to a very complete understanding of the typhoon's nature and effects, and the base of sources is indeed broad and well-rounded. Excellent job! Juliancolton (talk) 03:33, 5 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments This is very good, but I have some comments about the articles wording, and I think that a little bit of some tropical storm-related terminology needs to be translated:
- " In the day before the storm affected the island, the storm dropped " - this is a bit repetitive
- Eek, it was! Changed. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "High winds downed power lines on Chuuk.[10] High surf destroyed seawalls and buildings along the coast." - two short sentences in a row is a bit choppy
- De-choppifier activated. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "Property damage across Micronesia, mostly on Chuuk, was estimated at $100 million, and another $3 million resulted from crop damage" - the 'and another $3 million resulted from crop damage' is a bit awkward (especially as it's on a slightly different topic to the rest of the sentence)
- Moved around. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "Similar to on Chuuk" - this is also a bit awkward
- Changed to "Similar to its effects on Chuuk". Better? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "High winds caused damage across Guam, largely to poorly-built or wooden structures and consisting of roof damage" - ditto
- How is - "...mostly to roofs and to poorly-built or wooden structures"? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "and many fruits not destroyed by the storm were damaged by parasides" - 'many fruits' is poor grammar, and the last word contains a typo
- Double oops. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "Initially the death toll was unknown, possibly amounting to several hundred." - should this be "Initially the death toll was unknown, and it was feared that hundreds of people had been killed." or similar?
- Much better, thanks. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "The Red Cross shipped various relief supplies, including jackets" - given the climate, you should replace 'jackets' with 'raincoats' as used in the source
- Thanks, heh, I didn't want to go too direct, but that works too. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "United States President George W. Bush declared the island as a disaster" - should the last words be 'to be a disaster zone' or similar?
- Meant to put area, ack. Thanks. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "This was six days after FSM President Leo Falcam sent the disaster declaration to the US president;" - this wording is a bit awkward, and the rest of the sentence ("however, because the FSM is in a Compact of Free Association and the initial declaration was not legally binding, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) could not provide immediate assistance") is unclear. I'd suggest separating this into a couple of sentences.
- Is that better? I split and emphasized that it was Falcam's fault, sorta, of the delay. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "11,328 meals that were ready to eat" - do you mean "11,328 Meal, Ready-to-Eat" here? (which could also be expressed as "11,328 MRE rations" given that MRE is the common name)
- Thanks for the link! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "Before the facility reopened, the Guam Waterworks Authority rationed by distributing water to all homes at various times of the day" - this is a bit unclear
- Changed to - "Before the facility reopened, the Guam Waterworks Authority distributed water to the island at differing times of the day to ration the limited supply." --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "However, by a month after the storm, residents continued to boil water as a precaution" - did they need to?
- Clarified. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "$10 million in housing checks" - should this be "housing cheques"?
- I don't think so, since it's an American agency. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "Because of Chataan's death toll and damage, the name was retired and replaced with Matmo" - what does this mean?
- Just that the name was removed (retired, if you will, like baseball numbers), and replaced with a different name. Same with below. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "The name PAGASA gave to Chataan while active – Gloria – was replaced with Glenda in 2005" - likewise, what's the relevance of this? (does it mean that the records of this storm were altered?).
- Can anything be said about how this storm is remembered in the FSM, and the progress of the rebuilding effort there? The extent of the damage and casualties must have been traumatic for this very small country. Nick-D (talk) 10:24, 5 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- I think it's a bad sign that this is the only hit on Google news. I'm looking for some more though. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- I added a bit more aftermath. Unfortunately, several typhoons affect the country each year, so it's hard to get long-term impact. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:32, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- OK, that all looks pretty good. However, the bit on the Typhoon's name being 'retired' needs to be explained, as it's a bit obscure (I presume that names of Typhoons can be re-used, and they're only retired if the typhoon causes a significant amount of damage, or the name could be confused as being some kind of statement? If so, A sentence explaining this would be good). Nick-D (talk) 08:51, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Sure! I explained that typhoon names get retired if they cause a lot of damage. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 14:26, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- OK, that all looks pretty good. However, the bit on the Typhoon's name being 'retired' needs to be explained, as it's a bit obscure (I presume that names of Typhoons can be re-used, and they're only retired if the typhoon causes a significant amount of damage, or the name could be confused as being some kind of statement? If so, A sentence explaining this would be good). Nick-D (talk) 08:51, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- I added a bit more aftermath. Unfortunately, several typhoons affect the country each year, so it's hard to get long-term impact. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:32, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- I think it's a bad sign that this is the only hit on Google news. I'm looking for some more though. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:40, 6 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Support My comments have now been addressed, and I'm please to support its promotion; great work with this article. Nick-D (talk) 10:02, 10 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Source review - spotchecks not done.
- FN7, 49: what kind of source is this?
- I changed it to a publisher instead of "agency". I hope that wasn't the wrong way to do it. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:39, 12 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Be consistent in whether you include publishers for newspapers/newsmagazines
- I think I am inconsistent, so I asked for User:Hylian Auree to assist in getting the sources standardized and up to scraps. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:39, 12 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Use consistent italicization
- None of them are italicized now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:39, 12 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- FN54: page formatting. Nikkimaria (talk) 15:57, 9 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- I added an endash for the page number. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:39, 12 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Support with comments. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:48, 12 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "he JTWC assessed that Chataan had reached its peak intensity of 240 km/h (150 mph 1-minute sustained) about six hours earlier;" seems a little odd to me. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:48, 12 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- "On August 7, President Bush also declared Rota as a disaster area, which provided funding for debris removal.[53]" kinda odd as it's own one sentence paragraph. YE Pacific Hurricane 04:48, 12 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.