Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Unlocked (Alexandra Stan album)/archive3

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 06:14, 21 January 2017 [1].

Unlocked (Alexandra Stan album)

Nominator(s): Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:46, 5 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about the second studio album recorded by Romanian singer Alexandra Stan. This is the page's third nomination and I strongly believe it's good enough now to go after several changes adopted from the past nominations.

Comments from Aoba47

Resolved comments from Aoba47

The quote box in the “Background and development section seems really unnecessarily long and thin; I would suggest making the width slightly larger as 22% seems rather low. Just by a little bit though so it does not interfere with the infobox.
I do not understand why you separate the charts in the “Release history” section between “Digital releases” and “CD releases”. I would suggest combining these two charts together. I would suggest looking at FAs such as 4 (Beyoncé album) to see what I mean about this.
Did Alexandra Stan support the album through live performances outside of the tour, such as the singles or anything else? I would suggest adding them if she did and if she did not, then it is fine as it currently stands.

@Cartoon network freak: Everything looks good after the following two FACs. Once my comments are addressed, I will support this nomination. If possible, could you please add comments to my FAC for Russell family (Passions)? Thank you and good luck with this nomination. Aoba47 (talk) 21:11, 6 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: I've fixed all besides the live performances thing. I'm going to look over your FAC today. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:11, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Support, you have done an excellent job with this article. Good luck with getting this promoted and I look forward to working with you more in the future. Aoba47 (talk) 18:46, 7 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dan56

Support per my commentary and review at the previous nomination. Dan56 (talk) 23:05, 13 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Image review by Aoba47

File:Unlocked International.jpg: Nonfree album cover, as these usually are. Has a default non-free use rationale with all the details, which seems to fit. Inclined to say that each WP:NFCC item is satisfied.
File:Unlocked Japan Edition Cover.jpeg: Nonfree album cover, as these usually are. Has a default non-free use rationale with all the details, which seems to fit. Inclined to say that each WP:NFCC item is satisfied.
File:Alexandra Stan in Osaka.png: Free file on Commons, is in a section where the album's promotion is extensively discussed so I'd say it's pertinent. Description says that it si the uploader's own work so I will go on good faith for that. Not the best quality image, but it will due. It requires an ALT description per MOS:ACCESSIBILITY.
No audio files used, images only. An audio sample of one of the songs may be helpful given the subject matter, but this is up to the nominator.

Everything looks good with the images, aside from need to add an ALT description for one image. Good luck with the rest of the comments. Aoba47 (talk) 22:09, 15 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Mike Christie

I'll leave notes here as I go through the article. I'll copyedit as I read through; please revert as needed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:04, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Cartoon network freak, I agree with Graham's comments below that this needs significant copyediting. Rather than list all the issues, I could just do a copyedit, but it would be a bit more intensive than usual at FAC. Let me know if you're OK with that; you'd need to review afterwards to make sure I didn't change the meaning of anything, particularly for anything with a Romanian source. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:41, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Mike Christie; I'm okay with you doing a copyedt. Thanks in advance, Cartoon network freak (talk) 14:48, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I'm starting the copyedit; I may not finish it this morning. Three points have come up so far:

"After her recovery from health issues": Google translate of that source doesn't say anything about health issues as far as I can see -- can you clarify what this refers to?

Done I removed the whole statement as I realized it's overfluous here and it's already included in Alexandra Stan v. Marcel Prodan.

Were the contested songs that Prodan owned the rights to songs from Stan's first album? Or songs by some other artist that she did cover versions of?

I can assume that they were all her songs until that point, but the source does not give further info. Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:16, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"because of the popularity of her previous works there": I don't think the source supports this.

"27 august 2014 este ziua in care noul album Alexandra Stan va fi disponibil pentru comanda in Japonia, in mediul digital. Artista si echipa ei s-au concentrat 100% pe teritoriul asiatic in ultimele luni, avand un succes urias cu "Cherry Pop" si "Dance" care au ajuns foarte repede no.1 pe iTunes." → 27 August 2014 is the day when Alexandra Stan's new album will be made available for digital purchase in Japan. The artist and her team have concentrated 100% on the Asian territory in the past few months, having a big success with "Cherry Pop" and "Dance", which speedily reached number on on iTunes.

-- Out of time for now; more later. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:51, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Mike Christie: Thank you for the copyedit! I've modified your result a little bit, though. Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:16, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

OK -- I'll keep going from where I got to and will go back through again after that. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:59, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Actually I'm going to have to stop and get a couple of clarifications from you on the release section before I can do much more there.

Your source from above just says that she concentrated on the Asian territory and had a success with two singles; it doesn't say that's why Unlockd was initially released exclusively in Japan. There's no connection made between the success and any result of the success.
The source for "worldwide digital availability followed" is an iTunes page; I see a release date there, but how do we know that that indicates worldwide availability?
You say the CD and DVD were released in "various other territories". The supporting cites show the availability of the CD in Germany, Australia, and Japan, and of the DVD in Japan only. Do we know if either was released in any other territory? Or did you just find these, and not want to imply it was only these territories? I assume not as you refer to a Spanish version later. And I also see that the Australian page lists it as an import, not as a domestic release, so should that source be cut? Assuming I have the above all correct, I'd cut this to what we actually know: "the album was released on CD in Germany, Spain, and Japan, and a bonus DVD was also made available in Japan". If we can't be precise because we don't know where else it was released, then don't mention territories at all: "The worldwide digital release followed on 25 November, and the CD was made available by the end of 2014, with a bonus DVD available in Japan".
You mention that the German release included "We Wanna", but I don't see that here.

I'll go ahead with the next section while waiting for your responses. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:35, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose. I started looking at the next section, but there are questions I would need to answer before I can copyedit. The prose is not FA-quality at the moment, and I think there's more work to do than can be done at FAC. I suggest withdrawal and renominate after some more work has been done. I'd be willing to work with you on the article to try to get it to FA-quality. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:43, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Mike Christie: I've solved everything above. Cartoon network freak (talk) 14:51, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sorry, but I think there's more to do here than should be done at FAC; FAC is supposed to be where we decide if an article meets the criteria, not where we edit it to meet the criteria. With limited reviewing resources, it's fairest to do the work elsewhere. I'm going to let my oppose stand, and the coordinators can decide what to do. As I said above, I'd be willing to help work on the article, if it doesn't get promoted. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:50, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Mike Christie: Ah okay ;) I have re-read the whole article again and re-edited it. You can check it out again if you want to, but if you have no time then its ok, as well. Thanks again for your help and your copyedit. Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:31, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Graham Beards

Oppose - the prose is not FA standard. There are fused participles e.g. " with one comparing it to works by American singer" and overuse of the "being" (a word rarely seen in FAs) and a combination of both problems "with the latter one being influenced". I think more work is needed to bring the writing to a professional level. Graham Beards (talk) 14:08, 19 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Graham Beards: You may check the article now after I have re-read it and re-edited it with the help of Mike Christie. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:33, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

My oppose stands. It would be wise to take Mike's advice; I too suggest you withdraw the nomination and work on it away from FAC. Graham Beards (talk) 20:01, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Carbrera

Note – I'd like to see Mike's copyedit (as he is excellent when it comes to prose) with the article before revealing my thoughts and concerns. Thanks, Carbrera (talk) 04:28, 20 January 2017 (UTC).[reply]

@Carbrera: You may check out the article now. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:34, 20 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Closing comment

@Mike Christie: I note the supporting comments at the top but am persuaded by Graham's and Mike's concerns, so I'll archive this now and hope that the nominator will take up Mike's offer to work on this outside the pressure of the FAC process, and return here at the appropriate time. Tks/cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:12, 21 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 06:14, 21 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.