Wikipedia:Peer review/30 Rock/archive2

30 Rock

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because the article has recently completed a GAN and i'm leaning towards trying to get this article to FAC at some point. Could reviewers please comment on the article as if this were an FAC?

Thanks, ^[User]Jamie JCA_[Talk] 00:20, 20 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC.
- Per the MOS, the curly quotes shouldn't be used. This will get dinged at FAC.
- Current ref 3 (Belek, Cassie) is lacking a publisher
- Per the MOS, all capitals shouldn't be used in link titles.
- Current ref 48 (30 ROck TV SHow Series...) has all the bibliographical information run into the title of the link. Should separate it out.
- Current ref 52 (Goodman, Lee-Anne) is lacking a publisher.
- Current ref 73 (Robert Able) is lacking a publisher. Also, last name should be first to match the rest of your citations.
- Current ref 74 (Stanley, Alessandra) is lacking a publisher
- Current ref 77 (Morrow, Terry) is lacking a publisher
- Current ref 110 (Pick of the Day) has two p. abbreviations in the footnote.
- What makes the following sources reliable?
  - http://www.channelcanada.com/Article2038.html

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 19:21, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: While this is much improved from the last time I reviewed it, it still needs some work before FAC. Here are some suggestions for improvement.

Article needs a general copyedit to polish the prose - professional level writing is a FAC criterion and this is not there yet. Ask at WP:PRV for copyedit help or try reading it aloud slowly. A few example problem sentences Tracy has [had] ~~encountered some~~ marital problems with his wife Angie ~~Jordan~~ (Sherri Shepherd) and they ~~become~~ separated, but later reunite. or The cast of the series is an ensemble cast,[1] which means that each character is seen with roughly the same amount of importance in each episode. (plus last part of the sentence needs a ref - is this accurate, Fey, Bladwin and Morgan seem to get much more time than the other characters?
Some quotes are modified in ways that seem unneeded, for example the [he] here is really unneeded: ... Kevin Reilly felt that "Fey was using the news setting as a fig leaf for her own experience and [he] encouraged her to write what she knew."[20] or why not recast The song had its lyrics altered to accommodate the character Kenneth being "misinformed about the time [of the 11:45 train]."[37] as something like The song had its lyrics altered to accommodate the character Kenneth being "misinformed about the time" of the 11:45 train.[37] or "Despite her success with "Mean Girls," [Tina] Fey mostly hits too-familiar notes in the pilot. there is only one Fey, is [Tina] really needed?
In the lead, ratings for season one are mentioned, but not season two. Did it do better or worse or about the same?
Some statements may need refs at FAC, for example This aspect of the series was abandoned prior to its debut or The episodes of the second season can also be streamed for free on Hulu.com, with brief commercials at the normal interruption points. or Numerous supporting characters have been given recurring appearances in the series. They include Maulik Pancholy as Jack's loyal assistant Jonathan. Grizz Chapman and Kevin Brown make appearances as members of Tracy's entourage Grizz and Dot Com, respectively. John Lutz makes appearances as the food loving TGS writer J.D Lutz. (paragraph without refs)
Lots of fair use images - does they all meet WP:NFCC? This will be checked at FAC.
Per WP:MOSQUOTE, the {{cquote}} should not be used here, use {{blockquote}} instead (if it is 4 lines or longer)
Agree with the ref questions above.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 00:28, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]