Wikipedia:Peer review/Aaron Hillis/archive1

Aaron Hillis

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Please have a look if all is ok with the article I created. Thanks, ☆☆☆ interstellarpoliceman ☆☆☆ 17:18, 31 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Interstellarpoliceman: Hi there! The article is short and sweet (very good!). As far as following layout, formatting and Wikipedia's policies go, this looks sufficient. Citations are also relevant, cite the appropriate text, and are all from RS sources. There are some small changes I would make:

Changing "especially in the field of" to "especially within the fields of", multiple fields were listed so should be plural.
"celebrity interviews" to "interviews with celebrities", the former sounds somewhat tabloid-y/gossipy.
"Responsible for acquisitions, art direction, disc production, marketing. Releases include Joe Swanberg's LOL (2006), Aaron Katz's Dance Party USA and Quiet City (2007), Matthias Glasner's The Free Will (2008), and many others." to "Responsible for acquisitions, art direction, disc production and marketing, releases include Joe Swanberg's LOL (2006), Aaron Katz's Dance Party USA and Quiet City (2007) and Matthias Glasner's The Free Will (2008)." This makes the text flow better, and 'and many others' is removed since the start of the sentence already says 'releases include'.
"The film premiered at SXSW. Praised as "one of SXSW's pleasant surprises, with a great, early Errol Morris feel for American weirdness" (Premiere Magazine) and as "a wistful, thought-provoking rumination on the cost of progress" (Film Threat)." to "The film premiered at SXSW, where it was praised by Premiere Magazine as "one of SXSW's pleasant surprises, with a great, early Errol Morris feel for American weirdness." Film Threat gave a similarly positive review, calling it "a wistful, thought-provoking rumination on the cost of progress."" Text flows better; also wikilinks Errol Morris for context. I also do not think Premiere should be linked.
"The store was awarded three-time "Best Video Store in NYC" (2012–2013: Time Out NY, The Village Voice, The L Magazine." to "The store was awarded the title of "Best Video Store in NYC" on three occasions between 2012–2013, by Time Out NY, The Village Voice and The L Magazine).
"Hillis sold the library to the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn." to "In 2016, Hillis sold the library to the Alamo Drafthouse in Brooklyn." Should be dated.

Lastly, a few points: under "career", I would put the first three lines together, but change the last one to end with "Furthermore, Hillis is a frequent moderator of panels in the indie film industry." Can the sentence about the documentary "At the Video Store" be cited? And finally, in the sentence "he has written film reviews and features and conducted hundreds of celebrity interviews" what does features mean here? Thank you for putting it up for review, LunaEatsTuna (talk) 14:40, 28 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@LunaEatsTuna: Wonderful, thank you SO MUCH! I incorporated all your remarks into the article! ☆☆☆ interstellarpoliceman ☆☆☆ 15:33, 1 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]